The little girl
by Linneagb
Summary: Post series. The Cohen's, including Sophie Rose now six years old take in a foster child during the holidays. She's only staying until after new year's so nothing could happen... Could it? Well it could. So what happens when it's all about to happen in the worst possible way?
1. The phone call

**Does everyone remember the kid in the very last clip of the O. C. When Ryan asks if he needs help? I have decided to bring that kid into this story. I call him Adam Jensen. His mum's name is Sarah (she will be in future chapters) Jensen. And she's portrayed by Jennifer Aniston. Douglas is portrayed by Dolph Lundgren.**

 **I have made a collection on polyvore edits for this story, and edits for Annie, Sophie Rose, Adam and Sarah. My polyvore is "Linneagbffn"**

 **The story will switch in between Sandy and Kirsten's point of view. This chapter is Sandy's pov.**

 _December the 24_ _th_ _2013, the phone call._

"Well then. That's everybody…" I looked over the hallway and the kitchen. "Seth, Summer, Sophie Rose, Kirsten, me and... Adam, was it?"

"Yep." The young guy answered and shook my hand. "Adam Jensen. Nice to meet you sir."

"Don't sir me." I jokingly made a face. "It's Sandy. No more, no less. Let's move into the kitchen. We have food. I hope everybody's hungry because there is loads of it."

"I'm always hungry." Adam said with half a smile. "But I'm allergic to peanuts so I hope you've got no such things in here."

"That's okay." Soph answered before I had the time. "I'm allergic to peanuts too. I'm happy you are here because Ryan told me about you and I think we could be friends. But why aren't you having Christmas with your mummy and daddy?"

"They're just not at home. So Ryan thought I could come here with you."

"Where are they?"

"My mum's working. My dad… Well. My dad's dead."

Silence fell around the table, and a deep frown had formed in Sophie Rose's forehead. She was usually well- behaved. But very sneaky, and I didn't hesitate that she was going to ask more questions. Then just as I was about to interrupt the hearing she had asked the one question I had been afraid that she might at the moment Adam had spoken the word 'dead'.

"How did he die?"

"Sophie Rose Cohen." I interrupted before anyone had had the time to answer her anymore. "What have I told you about asking such questions? You can't just ask someone you barely know something like that."

"It's fine." Adam interrupted. "Do you still want to know?" Sophie Rose hesitated, then nodded. "Do you?" He looked around the table, but nobody else said a word. "It's not a problem. I've done it a million times. My dad did drugs, along with games and betting and stuff. He got a lot of depts, he met mum. Mum wanted kids. Dad decided to change. He joined the army to make a living. Then, just as mum got pregnant he went to Afghanistan… And he never came back. End of story."

"Oh…" I searched for the right words. Hearing about kids that lost a parent always broke my heart. "I'm so sorry." Adam only shrugged and didn't seem to have a care in the world.

"It's okay. I never knew him and I can't miss what I never had, right? Anyway, I have mum. We do alright. But she works as a janitor at the hospital, the supermarket and my school. So she works a lot. I think she's trying to save up for my college fund. And that along with paying for all of those depts dad got himself and her. But anyway, she works during the holidays now. So Ryan said I could come here instead of sitting alone the whole Christmas. I hope it's not a bother."

"Nope." I handed him the potatoes. "It is not. And as long as you don't mind a Hanukah menorah by the fireplace or the word Chrismukkah then… why bother even thinking about it? What's up Soph?"

Sophie Rose had food on her place. But since Adam gave her the answers on why he was here with us today she had been staring ahead of her and seemed distressed and sad.

"I'd be very sad if I had to celebrate Christmas without my parents." Sophie Rose stated. "And very, very sad if something happened to my dad." She lifted her little hand and I reached out mine and took hers.

"Well." Adam shrugged again. "Of course I get sad I never met my dad sometimes. I just prefer trying to be grateful for what I do have rather than sad for what I don't. I mean what I said. I do have mum and… some kids don't even get to have one parent. Or live with one or two that don't treat them well. And…"

Adam was interrupted when a loud phone's signal sounded through the kitchen. I quickly reached down into my pocket.

"Geez. I thought I'd turned it off…" I felt a frown form in my forehead when I saw the name on the screen. "Doug? I think I'll take this actually… Hey." I stood up, put the phone to my ear and hurried out to my ear. "Douglas? It's been ages… But why call on Christmas Eve?"

I knew one thing for sure, Doug wouldn't be calling if he didn't need anything.

"Sandy. I so badly need a favor from you. And it's totally too much to ask but I didn't know who else to call and I'm only about twenty minutes away from your house. So I'll say it right out. I need a foster family placement. I have a girl sitting right next to me. She's just been kicked out of a foster home. And we are loaded with jobs right now. I myself am going on a journey on Boxing Day. I just need to find an emergency placement for her for the next week and a half or so. But nobody seems to feel up to taking in an extra kid on Christmas Eve… Now please Sandy. I know you know what I am about to ask and I'm so sorry but please Sandy, please… pretty… pretty…"

"You know… That only works for my daughter and to hear an adult man plead like that."

"Darn." I could hear Doug swearing on the other line. "Please Sandy. I can't chuck her out on the street, it's Christmas for Christ's sake. And I promise you, as soon as I get back from my daughter's after New Year's I'll fix it up with a more permanent home for her. It's only for a week…"

"I…"

I wanted to say yes so badly at this very second.

"Yes?"

"I need to speak to my family. Can you call me up again when you're getting closer?"

"Sure can do."

I didn't want to tell what Doug had said about this girl having been kicked out of her earlier foster home. I knew nothing about how that had happened anyway. And if there was someone who would be sceptic about this it was the one and only Kirsten.

"Guys." I walked back into the kitchen still holding onto my phone for when Doug would call back up. "I need to talk to you about something very important. Calling was my friend Douglas that I knew a long time ago because he was working with my mum as a social worker. He is still working as that. And he's here, about fifteen, twenty minutes away from here. He's got a girl with him and he very badly needs a family for her to live with for the next week and over New Year's."

"What do you know about her?" Kirsten asked while I barely had the time to finish the sentence. "Name? Age? What is she like?"

"Ehrm… I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I know it's a girl, I know it's a child. That's about it. But like I said, she only needs a placement for the next week or so until Doug can find a more permanent foster family for her. And I've known Doug for a long time and he wouldn't ask me for something he knew I couldn't handle."

"I think it could work mummy." Sophie Rose said before Kirsten had the time to say anything else. "I've always wanted a sister. And I'll have someone to play with during the Christmas Holidays. And she'll have somewhere to live and we're all nice people."

That was one down.

"I agree with Soph." Ryan continued. "I mean… you took me in. At the moment it was only temporary…"

"Which." Kirsten interrupted her adoptive son. "If this happens, actually will be temporary."

"Well…" Ryan continued. "If… When it is. I am a hundred percent sure that if there's anyone who can help this girl then it's you guys. Well, we."

"We know nothing about this girl. We don't even know what her name is or how old she is."

"It's only a little girl." I sat down by the table next to my wife again. "...and a few days. What could happen?"

Kirsten looked sternly to me. It was obvious she was very sceptic to this. But still, I knew she felt exactly what I did- where else was this girl supposed to go? And we did have space, food, warmth and all the other essentials.

"I think it could be great." Seth gave a short, but kind of nervous smile. "I mean mum, you were kind of sceptic when Ryan came too but look how that turned out. And now I, Summer, you two and Ryan are all adults."

"Yeah. Me too." Summer nodded. "I mean there are these types of Children's homes but come on… It's Christmas."

"I have been to one of those places once." Adam said. "I would not have liked to spend any day and the very least a holiday there. And she's only a kid."

I looked back to Kirsten, now when everybody had gotten to make their own voice heard. And knowing that whatever it was, the children's opinions were what was the most important to her, and to me of course. We didn't really have a choice anymore.

"Doug." I walked out of the room when he called me up again. "She can live here for a week or two. But can you tell me a bit more about her, name, age? What she's like?"

"Annie Derrek, nine years old. I'm not sure what words I should use. Maybe… Try to imagine someone named Annie at nine years old and you imagine someone like sweet and kind and innocent and, well you know all of that?" I hesitated, imagined for a second and then nodded towards the phone. "Yep? Well can you, in every way imagine the complete opposite of that? Then I think you might get somewhere close to what she's actually like."

"Doug?" I suddenly thought of something. "Can she, at this very moment- hear what you're saying?"

And Doug's silence spoke the whole truth.

"Just driving up your street now." Doug said quickly. "See you in two minutes. Bye." The phone clicked when he hung up and I was left standing with the phone in my hand for for certain thirty seconds before I knew what to do.

"Well you guys." I walked back into the kitchen. "That was my friend Doug who is bringing this girl over."

"What's her name?" Sophie Rose had a big smile on her face, reaching from ear to ear. "How old is she? Can she share room with me? What is she like?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I held my hands up and interrupted. "First of all, her name's Annie. She is nine years old. I think…" I rubbed my neck and brainstormed for the right decision. "I think it's the best if she gets her own room. At least for now… So Ryan… Maybe you could move in with Soph. Sophie Rose, is that alright with you?" My daughter nodded so fast her fringe fell into her eyes and she laughed.

"It will be like having a sleepover." She said happily. "A real sleepover. Won't it Ryan?" Ryan smiled and nodded. As long as Sophie Rose was happy he'd be too. "Awesome."

"I'm afraid though…" I turned to Adam. "…That means you'll have to stay on the couch. Are you alright with that?"

"Yeah sure." Thank God Adam didn't neither seem to have anything against it. "I'll go get my things so they aren't…"

"When is Annie coming daddy?"

As on a given signal, at the very second Sophie Rose finished her question we could hear the doorbell ring and sounding loud through the house.

And at that I realized this was for real. And we would from now on be having a child from God knows where living with us. Only for a few days if everything worked out like it should but anyway…

"Okay, all of you guys…" I forced the nervous shiver in my voice away. "The last thing Annie needs right now is for us all to come greet her at the door. So you wait here. And I'll go." I turned towards the hallway just as the doorbell rang once again. "I'M COMING."

" _It's just a little girl and a few days. What could happen?"_

Well after this whole week and a bit more it would show. And believe me when I say- a whole lot!

 **So, turning to all of you guys who celebrate Christmas. Mainly Americans, but really anyone will do XD. Can you tell me a bit about how YOU celebrate Christmas? Because the Swedish celebrations include most of the celebrations, including opening the presents, happens on Christmas Eve. So. If you want to tell me a bit more about how your Christmas goes during Christmas Eve and Christmas day then please write about it in a review or send me a poem and I'll make something out of it.**

 **Random fact**

You might have noticed Taylor isn't in the story even though Summer, Seth and Ryan is. And that is for one reason only- I canNOT stand Taylor. So she will not be having a part in this story and Ryan's single. Okay? Great. See you next time.


	2. The girl who glares

**Thanks to Tif S, GleeJunkie007 and "Guest" for reviewing.**

 **And also thanks to Tif S and GleeJunkie007 for helping out with describing their Christmas traditions.**

 **When I asked in the ending A/N for the first chapter that you could send me a poem about what your Christmas traditions. I meant PM XD. I need to start paying more attention when I'm writing.**

 _December the 24_ _th_ _2013\. The girl who glares_

"Okay, all of you guys…" I forced the nervous shiver in my voice away. "The last thing Annie needs right now is for us all to come greet her at the door. So you wait here. And I'll go." I turned towards the hallway just as the doorbell rang once again. "I'M COMING."

Just as the doorbell rang yet one more time I opened the door to my friend Doug, and a girl I didn't recognize but that would have to be this Annie. And boy, well this was something of a first impression. Dressed in a stripy off-the-shoulder sweater with a big print of a red rose, black tights with a spray painting print, two different knee-high socks in bright colors pulled up over the slacks, bright red sneakers, a dark blue baseball cap and a floral patterned backpack that for some reason Doug was holding onto the handle off.

"She tried to run away." Doug told me without greeting. "But you won't try that one again will you?" He looked down on Annie who only rolled her eyes and glared on him. "Thank you so much for doing this Sandy. Annie, this is Sandy. Whom you'll be staying with from now on. And Sandy, I'd lock the doors and keep an eye on her. She is a runner."

"Thanks for the advice Doug." I still couldn't take my eyes off the young girl and her crazy clothing style. "But I prefer to trust the ones who live under my roof. Hello Annie." The young girl glared up at me. "You already know my name is Sandy. I suppose you would like to meet the rest of my family. Or would you like to see the room you'll be staying in first?"

"I don't care." Annie rolled her eyes at me. "This is just another sucking foster home anyway. I bet you, you'll have kicked me out before Boxing Day."

"Oh…" I was knocked off my feet and couldn't think of anything to say. "Hopefully we'll be able to get through this without that kind of drama." I smiled nervously. "Maybe room first. So you can put away your things. KIRSTEN?" I heard footsteps, then Kirsten came out of the kitchen and down the hallway. "I need to talk to Doug for a moment. I'll be back in a second. Maybe you could show Annie to her room." Kirsten smiled towards the young girl in front of us, but I did notice the tense expression on her face and in her body language. "Annie, this is my wife Kirsten. Kirsten this is Annie."

Annie's glare didn't fade when she turned towards my wife. But she did walk after Kirsten and left me and Doug in the hallway to be able to talk only between us two.

"Maybe I should have started off with telling you this but you might want to know this is her fifth home since she was taken into care not even two months ago." I raised an eyebrow. "She's a nine year old monstrous hurricane. She finds a way to chase everybody away. But believe me Sanford Cohen, if there is anyone that can help this girl. It's you."

I did notice the way Doug was just going on and on. Probably not to give me a chance to protest for anything or literally scold him for what he seemed to have done to me and my family? And the part that felt the very worse was that none of us even knew what he had or could have done to us yet.

"Also I never got the chance to tell her this is only meant to be temporary." I could feel my stomach drop. "Come on Sandy. I just couldn't do that today. It's Christmas Eve. Anyway. I'll go straight to the office and then send you an email with the number and email to one of my colleagues. I'll be going to my son's and his family's tonight and take some time off. So" He looked around him slightly. "Goodbye."

Before I had the time to say anything else Doug had turned in the other direction and was out the door slamming it after him and I gave a deep sigh.

"Just typical Douglas Anderson." I mumbled grumpily to myself. "Leave the hard work for somebody else. Hey." Kirsten and Annie came back into the hallway. "Come meet the rest of us." I laid a hand on her shoulder and led her to the kitchen, she glared up on me and shook it off. "You've already met Kirsten?" I ignored what she did and continued. "And these are our children, Seth, Ryan and Sophie Rose. Then there's Seth's wife summer and Ryan's friend Adam. Everybody, this is Annie. It's a bit crowded, but you can sit… There, in between Adam and Kirsten. Is that alright?"

Without a reply Annie walked around the table and sat down. And not until then, when she passed Sophie Rose I noticed how small she was. There were three years in between the two girls, but Annie was at least skinner and I was pretty sure if Sophie Rose stood up we would spot she was shorter too. And no. That was not the way it was supposed to be!

That was the first time I felt that gust with worry about what on earth had happened to her before she came here.

"Let's eat then." I said and tried to smile and sound happy while I picked out another plate, glass, knife and spoon out of the cupboards and drawers for Annie. "Suit yourselves." Annie looked around her, then practically climbed onto the table and hit Ryan's hand to reach for the mashed potato. "Hey, take it easy. There's food enough for everybody. And if you want something, ask someone to pass and do not climb on the table." Annie glared up on me. I was starting to think she glared a billion times more than she ever said anything at all. But she did sit back down on her chair so my goal was reached. "Thank you."

"Hey Blondie." She called out for Ryan's attention and I suppressed a sigh. "Give me some turkey would you?" Ryan raised an eyebrow while she was holding her plate towards him. She was really talking rudely and if it had been Sophie Rose we would have scolded her and asked her to say it nicer. But this wasn't Sophie Rose, and with a sigh he reached for the plate with the turkey. "Come on Blondie. This is heavy. So if you don't want me to drop the plate in the middle of the gravy bowl then give me some turkey now."

Ryan didn't look too pleased about the new nickname. But he did as Annie told him with an apologetic look towards me. While Annie only glared at him until he put up more turkey for her and she must have had a portion of Turkey and mashed potato that would have lasted for at least three portions of somebody else her size and age. And without even saying thank you to Ryan, she put the plate in front of her, poured over God knows how much gravy and then started shoving great bites of mashed potatoes, turkey and gravy into her mouth.

"Annie." I told her. "Nobody's going to take that food from you. And you're going to get a stomachache if you keep eating like that." Annie only glared at me once again and then kept on shoving food into her mouth.

"Daddy." Sophie Rose tugged my shirt for me to lean closer so she could whisper in my ear. "I know I'm not meant to say such bad things. But she is very rude. And on top of that she smells."

I was on my way to scold Sophie Rose for saying that. But I couldn't find the words when I realized that she was right. Annie did smell, badly. I had just been so chocked by her crazy clothing style earlier I hadn't noticed. She did smell (And look) as if she hadn't ever had a shower actually. I could see the dirt on her face, on her hands when she pulled them out of the too long sleeves to eat, and on the shoulder that wasn't covered by the sweater she was wearing. I could see more on the shirt, and her dark, long hair was thick and greasy. It was pulled back in a braiding but tresses everywhere had found their way out of the rubber band holding it and was flying around her face and neck at every move she made.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

I hadn't even noticed myself. But I must have been staring at Annie ever since she came her. I now nodded slightly in an apology to her and looked around the table to see one of my sons sitting writing something on his phone.

"Ryan. It's Christmas Eve dinner. Can't you at least put away your phone for the next half hour or so? Please?"

"Okay then. I only had to make an early present ready and I'm finished now." I noticed Ryan was just putting his phone in his pocket. "I know there are two early Christmukkah presents tonight. While most of them will be opened in the morning on Christmas day. I'll just be going to get one now." Ryan stood up and left the room. I heard him walk down the hallway, then opening the door and as he came back towards the kitchen it sounded like someone was coming with him.

Barely did I have the time to wonder about that, or about the fact that I didn't recognize the woman who came with Ryan, before seeing Adam's great, big smile in the corner of my eye had me turning around just as he shouted.

"MUM." Adam more or less flew onto his feet and over the kitchen floor before he tightly and quickly embraced the woman, obviously his mum. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working all Christmas. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"If I had told you it couldn't have been a Christmas present." Mrs. Jensen was wearing a smile at least as big as her son's. "I was but…" she silent and glanced towards Ryan.

"Oh never underestimate the power to persuade of an Atwood." Ryan blinked. "We've got our ways. Oh and Sandy. I told both Adam and Sarah they could spend their Christmas… Christmukkah here. And that means we need one… sleeping place more."

"Well…" I looked around the whole place and counted on my fingers. "Maybe Sophie Rose could sleep in the same bed as me and you Kirsten and then Adam in her bed and then…"

"NO." Sophie Rose protested. Say what you want about her. She did have a strong will when she made up her mind about something. "I was going to have a sleepover with Ryan."

"Actually I… I have got one of these thick blow-up mattresses in my car." Sarah said and interrupted before I had time to say anything and still scratched my neck in a distressed gesture. "I guess. If we can fit that in somewhere someone can stay on that."

"Can I sleep on that?" Adam as good as bounced up and down. "It's so comfy. Then, I was going to sleep on the couch so mum could sleep there. And then I can sleep in the living room too so I and mum are together. You don't mind sleeping on a couch do you mum?" Sarah shook her head and breathed in to try and say something. "And don't even bother saying you didn't want to be a bother."

"A bother you're absolutely not. None of you are. Well that's settled then." I clapped my hands together after putting yet another plate and glass on the table and then went out into the hallway. "Does everybody know where they're going to sleep later on? Good. Here." I found another chair in the hallway that we used for when we had to sit down putting shoes on. "Adam and Ryan, can you move a bit so Sarah can sit here. There you go. Suit yourself Sarah." I gestured over the table. "We've got food enough for everybody. Now, I know this is usually the kind of food one eats on Christmas day. But we prefer to eat it Christmas Eve and then on Christmas day. Just to be special we eat an anti-Christmas-dinner."

"Ryan said there were two early Christmukkah presents today." Sophie Rose said. "What was the other one?"

"That's on us." Seth stood up. "Or, not really. Summer are you finished? Just a minute, we'll be right back."

After everything and all the lying with Brown and drugs and God knows what more a few years ago, Seth hadn't told a single lie. Which I knew because I could now perfectly tell when he was. But of course, people weren't supposed about Christmas presents before they opened them. And the look on Seth and Summer's faces when they left just had me so sneaky.

"Oh look." I almost shouted when they came back into the kitchen having changed clothes, and selves. "It's the ironist and little miss Vixen…. But what are they doing here?"

Summer and Seth looked to each other and smiled, and while they kept smiling. I couldn't fail to notice Seth's hands shaking when he pulled up something that looked like a piece of fabric in different colors from his pocket and unfolded it.

It was a baby bodysuit. White with some text on the front. The letters on the front and a small cloak attached to it was patterned in light pink and blue.

"Little S." I read out loud from the text on the front of the suit. "Coming June the 24th 2014"

"Oh my God." I still hadn't gotten a thing about this when Kirsten's almost shout interrupted my wondering. "Summer… Are you pregnant?"

"Yes." Summer nodded and replied with a smile from ear to ear and her eyes just shining with joy. "Yes I am." She then took the bodysuit in her left hand and grabbed onto Seth's hand with her right. "We are. And we kind of had to tell you today. Or you would have worried when I, tomorrow morning, the first thing I do tomorrow morning. Is sprint to the bathroom and puke up all of what I've eaten today. Plus we do have another big present for you all for tomorrow and we figured we would split them up. Because then you have one big, happy surprise today and then one big, happy surprise tomorrow. Is everything ready for tomorrow or should I help with something?"

I'd have to say that during the whole year and our whole Christmukkah traditions. Christmas Eve was one of my favorite days of the whole year. After the late dinner we always had we would never have any plans. Except for setting ready only the last couple of things for Christmas day. And especially with all of these people in the house… It was only one of my favorite days ever.

Ryan, Seth, Sophie Rose and Adam sat playing one card game after the other. Well, Adam switched in between doing that and reading Harry Potter which the others teased him for since he was so gone into his own world while reading. Kirsten and Sarah were talking to Summer about whatever things around being pregnant and having babies. And really, that was a subject that could go on for two hours?

And I was just so filled with the joy and the love in the house I didn't know where to turn.

And then there was Annie.

When we came from dinner she had sat down on an arm chair in the corner of the living room. And there she sat and glared around her through the whole while everybody were doing theirs. And no matter how many times Sophie Rose or Seth tried to get her to join them.

She just sat there and watched. Glared more likely. And there was just something in her eyes that wanted to rip my poor daddy heart into pieces. What on earth had hurt this so very young child so much?

"Almost everything is finished. But I'm not sure we should use the stockings this year." Kirsten came up to me with the pile of stockings we used to hang by the fireplace just as everybody were on their way to bed. "I mean, we have for us and Ryan, Seth, Soph and Summer. But then there's three of us that doesn't have one."

"No." Seth had heard and interrupted. "We can't just leave those behind. They have to hang by the fireplace."

"Yeah. But it just doesn't feel right putting these up when only six out of…" Kirsten counted on her fingers for a second. "Nine people here have got their name on each sock."

"Then how will Santa know where to put the small presents." Suddenly Sophie Rose came along too and came leaning against me. "All of those that would get lost if we put them among the other big presents. And I mean, the stockings are supposed to hang there on the fireplace. They always do and it wouldn't be right if they weren't there."

"Well…" Seth started. "I agree with Sophie Rose but…" He leaned closer to me and Kirsten. "Do any of you have any ideas for presents or any presents at all for…" He nodded towards Annie in the corner of the room. I could feel my stomach drop again. Were we going to leave a nine year old without any presents for Christmas?

"That's' fine." Sophie Rose said. "Santa does have presents for her. You know he does. And maybe we could hang the stockings there. And then put a note for Santa Claus by them, that he can still put all the presents on the floor by the tree. Even the small ones, but without putting them far in under the tree so we can see and find them anyway? And then I can write the note so he can see I've been a good and big girl who learned how to write."

"You don't really believe in Santa Claus do you?" Annie snorted at Sophie Rose before anyone else had the time to reply. And her smile faded off. "Because you're six years old. And only like two or three years old believe in Santa Claus." Almost hyperventilating and with eyes opened wide Sophie Rose looked up on me.

"Daddy?" I brainstormed for a good enough answer. "Daddy? There is a real Santa Claus isn't it? One who lives in the North Pole and makes toys and nice presents for children? Well behaved children like me? And not for naughty ones." Sophie Rose glanced towards Annie. "And you're naughty. Santa won't want to give any presents to you. Because he is real. He is, right daddy?"

"Yes of course he is." I stroke Sophie Rose's hair and gave Annie a stern glance. "You know he always comes and leaves Christmas presents for you during the night to Christmas day. Doesn't he?" Sophie Rose nodded towards my shirt. "Now. Go to bed, I'll be there in a second and when you get up in the morning Santa Claus will have left you loads of nice presents. Okay?"

"But the note…"

"Go and write that note and then go to bed and I'll come and get it there okay?" Sophie Rose nodded up at me, then pouted while she looked down on Annie.

"I don't like you." She said and stomped her foot looking at Annie. "You're rude and mean and you…"

"SOPHIE Rose Cohen." I interrupted, loudly at first so I would interrupt what she said. "You don't say things like that. Now say you're sorry."

"Sorry Annie."

"Like you mean it."

Sophie Rose didn't look too pleased, but on the other hand Annie didn't seem to care at all where she sat slumped in the chair in the corner and glared around her.

"I'm sorry."

Before anything else Sophie Rose had left the room and with a glance towards Annie I checked if Adam needed help with the pump for the mattress Sarah had had in her car. Then went to check if Kirsten and Summer needed any help. Which they didn't, actually they were sitting talking about pregnancies. So I decided to leave them to theirs and searched up the boys who were playing go fish. No video games on Christmas Eve! And at last I went to Sophie Rosie's room, where she laid under the covers, with the finished note in her hand.

"Do you promise me there is a real Santa Claus daddy?" Sophie Rose sniveled while she handed me the note to put by the fire place. "A real one with Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen and Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen and then Rudolph with the red, glowing nose. There is? Do you promise?"

"I promise." I squeezed her hand. "And you know I never make promises I can't keep."

Of course he was real. To everybody who believed in him. Including my daughter who looked at me with those big, blue eyes shining with joy for tomorrow.

"See you tomorrow then." Sophie Rose laid down and pulled the covers up to her chin. "And I didn't mean what I said. I do like Annie. I just didn't like what she said that Santa wasn't real." I nodded and leaned over to kiss Sophie Rose's head.

"Of course. I know that. Don't worry about it now. I'm sure you'll be best friends when you get to know each other better."

"And when Annie has a shower."

"That too. Goodnight Sophie-Soph." I stood up to leave. "Sleep so will the time go by fast until you can come up and start opening presents. Sophie Rose smiled again, then turned towards the wall and I left the door barely opened when I left. "Goodnight."

Well. There might not be many years ahead of us with Sophie Rose still believing in Santa Claus and all of those small joys of Christmas. So I was going to do my best to keep the magic alive for her and with that thought in my mind I went to lay the note Sophie Rose had written by the fireplace and the stockings.

"Hey." When I came into the living room Annie was still on the chair in the corner, but she was yawning tiredly and seemed to be struggling to keep her eyes open. "You can go to bed too." I told her and went to sit down next to her. "It's been a long day for you, so you've got to be very tired. Do you have a pyjamas or something like it to wear?" Annie glared back at me, but at last moved, stood up and almost ran out of the room.

"Nope." Soon enough Annie was back and shook her head. "No pyjamas. I shouldn't have been surprised though. I set most of my things on fire before I left the Stephens' house." I couldn't help but freeze in my steps and raise an eyebrow at her.

 _Oh dear God. What was it with this girl?_

"I did!"

"I believe you. Soph's asleep in her room so I don't want to go in there. So you're going to have to borrow something from me or Kirsten to sleep in. Is that alright with you?" Annie shrugged and didn't seem to care. "Well come with me… Here…" I found a pair of shorts that belonged to Kirsten in our closet. "They could fit you and… Do you mind wearing a T shirt of mine?"

"Don't care."

 _Of course you don't._

"Do you remember where your room is?" Annie didn't answer, but her silence and her eyes spoke the truth. "Here, I'll show you." I led the way. "Annie. I just wanted to say some things…"

For some reason Annie didn't care that I was still in the room and the door wide open when she started changing clothes. I did though, so I pushed the door almost closed and looked away.

"You know. You can trust us with anything if there's anything you want or so." I told her looking away. "Even tonight. If it's in the middle of the night it doesn't matter."

"Can you help me here?" Annie didn't answer me, but I had to turn when she called out for me. She was all dressed again, and the clothes she'd been wearing laid in a smelly pile on the floor. The shorts she had borrowed could be tied around the stomach and she held them up. "I can't tie them tight enough." I took the two yarn pieces in my hand and she could easily fold the fabric in between the holes.

My God. Hadn't this girl ever eaten?

The sleeves of my short sleeved T shirt were almost by her wrist and the shorts reached down below her knees. She was tiny. And that was with being skinny as a freaking thread. And all of those scars. Because if she had as many scars on the rest of her body as she had on her hands and legs it was bad… worse than anything I had ever seen before.

"There. All tied." Annie got into bed and I backed towards the door. "Come and get me if you need anything okay?" Annie only glared at me, turned towards the wall and pulled her covers over her head. "Goodnight then."

As I must have expected, Annie didn't answer me. So there wasn't much else for me to do than to go out to the others again, closing the door to Annie's room after me and hope that she had listened to what I had told her about if she needed anything.

"Goodnight Sandy." I met Ryan in the hallway. "Is Soph asleep?"

"She is. But she's very much looking forward to her sleepover with you." Ryan smiled- there weren't many who had Ryan wrapped around their little finger as our Sophie Rose and he absolutely adored her. "Goodnight Ryan."

"We're going now too." Seth and Summer came up in the hallway too. "And when you wake up tomorrow I'm going to be puking my guts up. But no worries okay? Or is there anything else I can help out with here right now?"

"No." I answered them. "I and Kirsten only need to take a few, wrapped presents we hid and put them under the tree. See you tomorrow." I turned into my and Kirsten's bedroom and got some bags with presents before I went back to the living room. "Everything is done and finished for tomorrow now. We just need to put these under the tree. Okay?" Adam smiled tiredly when I and Kirsten came into the living room and passed the couch and the mattress Adam laid on to be able to reach the Christmas tree.

"Wait." I first flinched, then froze in my steps when I saw Adam's bottom lip tremble. "Are you telling me that… that… that… that Santa isn't real? That it's only you and other parents doing these to make me believe in Santa" Adam started fake crying and Sarah sitting on the couch behind him couldn't help but laugh. "Mummy. Is there really no Santa Claus?"

Well. The joke would have worked a whole lot better if Adam himself hadn't started laughing in the middle of pretended crying.

Or if Sarah hadn't thrown a pillow right in his face.

"Ow. Mum." Adam laughed even worse, then pulled the pillow off and smiled up on his mum. "Mum?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really happy you're here."

I couldn't help but smile as I, quietly not to disturb the moment with mother and son Jensen walked out of the living room and upstairs to mine and Kirsten's room and bed.

"About Annie." Kirsten started as soon as I was in the bedroom and had closed the door behind me. "We can safely say she's got no table manners." Kirsten stated when we both laid only staring up into the ceiling. I wouldn't know what Kirsten was thinking but those pictures of Annie coming, around the dinner table and in the living room on the insides of my eyelids wouldn't leave. "Or any manners at all. Sandy are you listening to me?"

"Yeah." I returned to reality and now. "I just… I am a hundred and ten percent sure that if we just give her a chance there's going to be more to her than just that… On a brighter note." I turned my head to be able to look on my wife and she looked back so I reached out my hand and took hers. "Wasn't this the best Christmas Eve ever I mean… We're going to be grandparents."

Kirsten smiled, but there was something missing and I couldn't fail but notice a worried look in her eyes.

"I just have a weird feeling that something is about to go wrong." She said at last. "I know. I know. It's just a feeling and I normally don't care about those but I just can't… I just can't shake it off. And whether it's got to do with Annie or Seth or Summer or Ryan or anybody in or outside this house I do not know. And even knowing that nothing's going to happen drives me mad. Because nothing will happen. Of course it won't."

"Of course it won't." I backed up Kirsten and squeezed her hand in now. "And if it would, right now we are only here and now. And we've got our three beautiful children with us. And beautiful Summer, and little S. And the Jensen's. And that's' except for Annie. So whatever happens we are together and we will make this work. Trust me, okay?"

Smelling like she did, fifth foster home in less than two months, setting fire to her stuff, rude tones and almost climbing on the table and shoving food into her mouth like she had at dinner. Skinny as a thread and the size of one three years younger than her, crazy clothing style, greasy, thick hair and then that glaring around her.

 _I wasn't so sure if I trusted me right now._

 **So. Here's Annie. This isn't the best chapter but I guess partly it's quite alright at least. It might be a bit rushed at some points. "A tiny little bit"**

 **Anyway, she doesn't have any table manners and is skinny as a thread. She has scars all over her body, or at least what Sandy can see of her.**

 **And at a brighter note- Summer is pregnant and they call him or her "Little S" And Adam's mum Sarah has joined them. Sophie Rose believes in Santa Claus and Annie, Annie, Annie "Shakes my head."**

 **Doug is portrayed by Dolph Lundgren, Sarah by Jennifer Aniston and Annie by Baby Kaely.**

 **Random fact**

At the dinner, that part where Annie calls Ryan "Blondie" and wants turkey. It was actually kind of hard to write because she was so rude and it just didn't feel right for anyone to talk to anyone trying to help them like that. So I guess one could say that writing about someone wanting the other to pass some pieces of a Christmas dinner is a bit outside my comfort zone- that's random.


	3. The merry Christmukkah

**Thanks to Tif S and GleeJunkie007 for reviewing.**

 **This chapter is told from Kirsten's point of view**

 _December the 25_ _th_ _2013, the merry Christmukkah_

"AAAAH"

I woke up with a start when I heard someone shouting.

Someone in the other bedroom on the bottom floor.

At first I glanced to the clock on my bedside table. Just as I turned to it, it changed from five fifty nine to six o'clock.

I then looked to Sandy. He looked drowsily back at me and it seemed it took a second before any of us had realized what had happened and who must have been shouting. Then suddenly we both realized it must have been Annie and more or less jumped out of breath and quietly hurried down the hallway to check on her.

"Annie?" I almost whispered when I knocked on the door. "Annie?"

No reply.

"Annie?" I tried again and opened the door slightly. Whatever it had been- it must have been her shouting. "Are you alright?"

I took a step into the room. It was dark but I could see she laid on her back, that she had kicked the covers off and down onto the floor. But with her eyes closed and slow breaths, if I hadn't known better I would have thought she was asleep and that I had just dreamed about someone shouting. But then Sandy wouldn't have woken up either.

"If there's anything you want or need..." I only said barely loud enough for her to hear I tip-toed over the floor and lifted the quilt before I spread it carefully over the young girl. "…Then don't be afraid to come and get one of us. Okay? That's what we're here for. Now go back to sleep." I backed out of the room and back to Sandy who seemed to hesitate. "If there's anything she wants to talk to us about she'll come to us herself." We started making our way back to our bedroom. "We might as well go back to…"

I stopped in the middle of a sentence when I could hear a door slamming open and running footsteps, then the bathroom door opening and more footsteps and the toilet lid being opened before this someone started heaving and fell to her knees by the bowl.

"Summer." I told Sandy. "Morning sickness. I'll go. You go back to bed." I turned and hurried up the stairs. Just as I came Seth came drowsily stumbling out of his room towards the bathroom. "I'll go stay with Summer. Remember, I'm the only one of us that has been through this before." Seth didn't protest but turned and stumbled back to bed, and I continued towards Summer who was still heaving over the toilet bowl expelling what was left in her body of dinner yesterday.

"I hate this." She only barely got time to croak a few words to me before she started heaving again.

"I know." I grabbed a hairband from the shelf over the sink and kneeled by her, pulling her hair back from her face and putting it into a ponytail with tender and careful moves. "I hated it too." I started rubbing her back. "It's okay. It's okay."

"Oh God." At last- after what must have felt like hours to her, Summer reached up to flush the toilet, then turned, sat down on the floor and leaned back against the bathtub. "Then I feel bad for hating it because…" She rubbed her stomach and looked down with a smile that looked more like a half-hearted grimace. "…I have just never been so happy."

"I know." I couldn't help but smile. "You don't love the morning sickness, you won't love your legs swelling or going to the bathroom every fifth minute when the baby is getting bigger and pressing towards your bladder. And you're not exactly in love with the thought of never getting to sleep through the night or changing diapers but…"

"…But I'm looking forward to every single second of it."

"Yep… You should go back to bed. I'll clean this up."

"No." Summer moaned. "I don't want to go back to bed. Then I'll fall asleep and when I wake up I'll feel sick again. What time is it?"

"Just past six. I won't be able to sleep anymore either. But if you want to you can help me prepare for breakfast. You know what our Christmas day breakfasts are like. And Sophie Rose should be up in two hours or so and then I want to have it all finished. This sickness isn't contagious so if you want to."

"Yeah, I'd love to help out." Summer smiled tiredly, seeming to feel better. "Rather that than just sit and wait for the others. What do you want me to do?"

"Guys, guys." I could hear Sophie Rose shouting and running down the hallway and stairs just as I put the last bowl of cut up fruit in the middle of the ginormous breakfast buffet á la Cohen just after eight a. m. "It's Christmas day. It's Christmukkah, it's Christmukkah and we've finally reached the day with LOADS of presents. It's Christmas day, it's Christmas day. IT'S CHRISTMUKKAH."

"Well." I started talking to Summer. "If there was anyone who was still asleep before then there certainly isn't now." I heard Sophie Rose's running steps down the stairs. "TAKE IT EASY. OR YOU'LL FALL."

"I don't fall mum." Sophie Rose came walking inside with a bright smile. "Whoa. What a breakfast table."

"Really?" Adam and Sarah was just coming in behind Sophie Rose and Adam's eyes widened in an impressed move. "I have never seen so much breakfast food at once in my whole life. There's eggs and ham and cheese and toast and oatmeal and jam and… French toast. My favorite!"

"And oatmeal with banana and cinnamon. My favorite." Sophie Rose put as much as oatmeal as she could possibly eat in her bowl. Breakfast or buffet or not- she only wanted oatmeal. "Where by the table do you think we can sit mum? Can we sit in the living room and eat now when there are things all around the kitchen table?"

"No. Don't even try it young Lady. Good morning Annie."

Annie was dressed in tights that were so brightly red and white striped they almost made me dizzy, and a big black hoodie that reached almost down to her knees. The first thought that hit me was that at least she'd changed clothes since last night. There wouldn't be a chance she smelled as bad she had earlier.

Well, obviously she kind of could.

I could only see in the corner of my eye that Annie passed Summer to get her own plate. But then looked up when I saw Summer's expression change. And just as I looked up I saw her turn almost green before she got onto her feet and ran over to the sink barely in time before she started throwing up.

Oh the joys with being pregnant!

"It's okay." I started rubbing her back for the second time today and pulled away her hair from her face. "It's okay."

"Come on kids... And Sarah" While I was rubbing Summer's back and Summer was still throwing up into the sink Sandy stood up. "Summer doesn't need an audience now. We'll go into the living room and then we can start opening presents right after breakfast."

"YAY." Sophie Rose shouted over the presents. Then was interrupted by Summer heaving again. "Oh… Sorry Summer. Feel better…. Dad?" She turned to Sandy and they finally walked out of the room. "Is this contagious?"

"No, it's not. Don't you worry."

I mimed a "Thank you" at Sandy for making the others leave. Well, that was all of the others except for Annie. Who didn't seem to be bothered by neither what Sandy said nor Summer throwing up and had taken an empty plate and seemed to decide what she wanted the most.

"Go into the living room with the others. I'll bring you something for your breakfast in a minute." Annie froze in her moves. "Please Annie." At last she left her still empty plate on the table and left the room. "I'll be right there."

"I'm sorry." Summer croaked when the heaving finally stopped but still leaning over the sink. "I wouldn't have made it all the way to the bathroom. I'm sorry." She looked down and rubbed her stomach over where the baby would be. "I want you out."

"Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault. And no. Not yet." I led Summer over to a chair. "The nausea should get better very soon. It usually gives in by the second trimester." Summer only moaned and I started cleaning the sink. "Was there some smell from the table that caused it? The salmon? Eggs? Pancakes?"

"No." Summer moaned. "Annie." I suppressed a sigh- that was what I had been afraid of. "God that girl smells." I handed Summer a clean glass of water and started picking out a bit of everything to put on a plate for Annie. "I was thinking though. None of us had the time to get her any Christmas presents since we only heard about her yesterday. But I was thinking I'd go to the mall tomorrow because they have this great big sale for Boxing day so I was going to get some maternity clothes. Maybe I can bring Annie and get some new clothes… and maybe some soap and lotion. Maybe if she gets to pick it out herself she'll be more willing to have a shower. I mean, if she has been in foster care. Maybe she's afraid of water from someone… Or she just has never been learned to care to shower."

"That actually sounds about right." I grabbed another smaller plate, and put some pieces of toast on it. "Bring these with you. I know you don't feel like eating but you're only going to feel worse if you don't. Remember, I've been through this before and believe me. I've tried it all. Oh, and if you're going shopping I'm coming with you. Did you notice that Annie only had a load of things in that backpack she was wearing when she came here. Not much could fit into that… She probably needs a day of shopping. Now eat. You'll feel better."

Summer moaned at the thought of eating. But took another few sips of the cold water and seemed like she heard and understood what I was saying. I didn't have enough hands to take three plates so I handed Summer hers and took my own and Annie's in each hand before we moved into the living room.

"Well that is a bit how it works in this house…" When I and Summer came into the living room Sandy was turned to Sarah and Adam. "…It's constant chaos in one way or another. But we usually find a way to work it out when we work together." Sandy smiled and looked to Summer. "Feeling any better honey?"

Summer nodded slightly. Then checked where Annie was (on the chair in the corner just like she had been all through last night) and went to sit down on the other side of the room next to Seth who laid his arm around her shoulders and lovingly kissed the top of her hair while she carefully took a bite of a piece of toast.

"Here." I handed Annie the plate I had brought into the room for her. "I didn't know what you like the most so I took a bit of everything. Feel free to go into the kitchen and get more if you want." Annie nodded and took the plate, then started eating with the same terrible table manners we had seen last night. And I had a bad feeling about why this must be. "You don't have to eat so fast. I promise you, you won't be left without food at any time if you wouldn't eat it up fast enough." Annie only glared at me and kept on shoving pieces of toast and pieces of a sausage roll into her mouth. "I'll go get something for you to drink."

I got myself and Annie each glass of water, then put it by the side of her chair on the floor because Annie was way too busy with shoving her bites into her mouth to be able to even look up at see me. And I looked around the room and noticed an open space big enough for me to sit behind Sandy who was talking to Sarah.

"And this is our traditional Christmukkah breakfast. And it will last us days. We will have lunch whenever we want during the days and eat whatever we want from this huge breakfast buffet. Then for dinner we will have it all put away in the fridge or the freezer or wherever it's supposed to go. Then we order food for dinner and it will be as anti-Christmas as it probably could. And then in the evening it is time for the most important part. With bagels and hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows."

"I get a feeling these food traditions are very important to you. What would happen if I would like to add a bit to it some time?"

"Oh adding probably wouldn't be a problem. Just don't take anything away. Oh and don't add anything at all that involves peanuts. I do not want to spend the night at the hospital with Sophie Rose. She's allergic."

"So is Adam. No peanuts."

"No peanuts no." Sophie Rose made a grimace. "They make me ill. Daddy. I have eaten my breakfast now can we start opening presents please? Pretty pretty please?" Sandy sighed slightly and then looked to me.

I looked around. Like Sophie Rose, most people around seemed to have finished their breakfast (Along with Summer who seemed half asleep leaning against Seth's shoulder) except Annie who was just shoving the last few of the bites of her food into her mouth.

(And if we were going to wait for her to finish everything that she'd be able to eat then we might have to stay here all day)

"Are you finished Annie?" Sophie Rose was bouncing up and down in excitement. "Everybody else are finished and when you are too we can get started with the Christmas presents."

I was on my way to scold Sophie Rose for being so impatient. Then I saw Annie nod that she was finished and put her plate away. But come on. Christmas day was for the children. Whatever I was going to say to scold her it could wait.

"YAY." Sophie Rose jumped out of her chair and watched Sandy get up and picked up the first present. "WHO'S IT FOR? WHO'S IT FOR? WHO'S IT FOR?"

"Merry Christmukkah…" Sandy read out loud on the tag on the present. Then pretended to have some trouble with reading. "…Sophie Rose. Wishes from Seth, Summer and little S."

"YAY." Sophie Rose took the present. We knew since before anyway that she was getting more presents than all of us others together. But the first one was almost the most exciting and she sat down on the floor by my feet and ripped the paper off while Sandy lifted the next present.

"Aw." Sophie Rose had unwrapped stuffed versions of Lady and the tramp and a T shirt with a print of them two and that famous plate with spaghetti and fricadelli. Lady and The Tramp were Sophie Rose's biggest favorites and she hugged it all close to her chest with a big smile. "I love them I love them I love them."

Usually, I would have thought these stuffed animals would end up in a dusty corner of her room like most of the other thousands of stuffed animals she had. But how could I say that today? And how could I say that when these were Sophie Rose's favorites?

"Awesome." I was woken from my thoughts when Adam was the first one except for Soph who got a present and unwrapped a green Harry Potter- themed Christmas shirt, a baseball cap with a Slytherin logo and text, along with the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books. "Thanks Ryan. Now I can finally find out what happens." Adam put the rest to the side and opened the goblet of fire but Sarah took the book from him. "NO."

"Yes. We are guests here and it's Christmas… Christmukkah. And I know what you're like when you're reading and you're not sitting here in your own world while we're with friends." Adam grimaced. "And no such faces young man."

"What do you mean finally find out?" Ryan took over. "You only finished the prisoner of Azkaban two days ago."

"AND THOSE TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN TORTURE."

"Well it have to keep being torture then." Sarah couldn't help but laugh. "Thank you." Sandy handed her a small gift. "Well. No matter how much you hate me right now you already got me a present and it is…" She unwrapped it. "…A necklace with two hearts and one has "Mum" written on it. Oh Adam. Thank you. It's beautiful. How could you even afford this?"

"Ugh." Adam moaned. "It's not real or anything. It's of the cheap kind. I sold a couple of old toys so I could get you a nice present."

"Well it is real to me… What about Blue? You didn't sell Blue? Ad, you didn't sell Blue did you?"

"Mum." Adam moaned. "Stop it. I'm too big for stuffed animals."

"Did you?"

"No of course not. Dad got him for me…. Why do I still refer to my old teddy bear as "He." Here mum. There's another present for you." Adam took this bigger present from Sandy's hands and reached it further to his mum, and in the same move Sarah reached out and kissed his cheek. "Mum." Adam moaned again and rubbed his cheek.

"I picked it out." Sophie Rose as good as bounced in the chair with a bright smile while Sarah was fingering with the paper looking for an end to all of that tape. "And I wrapped it all by myself. And I picked it because Ryan said you make the best cookies and I love…"

"Shush." Ryan interrupted. "Let her see what it is before you tell her Soph." Sophie Rose gave another big, toothless smile and then looked towards Sarah who was taken the wrapping paper off her present.

"Do you like it?" Sophie Rose asked quickly when Sarah had gotten the paper off the cookie jar shaped and painted like Lady and the tramp and that plate with spaghetti of theirs. "You like it don't you?"

"I love it." Sarah smiled brightly towards the six-year-old. "This is great. And Lady and the Tramp is one of my favorite movies of all times."

"It is? It is mine too. We could watch it together some time. And maybe…" Sophie had to quit talking and took another present. "Thank you Ryan."

"And have got another present just down the block." Seth said when I was about to get up and collect all the paper and tape and pieces of thread that was always left after these and I couldn't help but frown in curiousity. "You'll understand when we get there but…" Seth looked up at Sarah. "…after you. And then, everybody get dressed and everything so you can go outside and come with me."

"Don't get your present yet." Sophie Rose ran up to Adam. "I want to see what it is too."

Adam smiled and nodded. Then reached for the sweater and cap he had gotten from Ryan, Seth and Summer and put them on. Then half crawled down under the covers so he'd be covered up and wouldn't have to show us all his underwear while he changed his shorts into jeans.

"Adam." Sarah moaned. "Just… why?"

"We are nine people sharing two bathrooms. And I'm not prude or anything so I might as well do it like this."

"True." Sarah playfully ruffled his hair. "You are so much like your dad."

"Did he change his pants under the covers?"

"No. But he came with ideas when they were needed instead of just waiting for something to happen. Even if there were just small things to save a few minutes of time" Sarah smiled sadly. "He would have been so proud of you Ad. I wish he'd gotten the chance to meet you."

Adam, who had gotten his jeans on got onto his feet and hugged Sarah tightly. I couldn't help but smile again- these two were just the closest mum with her teenage son I had ever seen. And it seemed they wanted nothing else than to make each other happy.

"Awesome." When all of us came outside Sarah gestured to Adam's present and he jogged over to the brand new bike that stood in the driveway. "Cool. Thanks mum." He ran his hand over the black and orange colored frame. "These mountain bikes aren't cheap mum. How much did it cost? How could you even afford it?"

"Don't you dare worry about that Adam Jensen." Sarah held her son another wrapped present. "I've been putting away a bit of money to at least be able to buy you a nice Christmas present. As you can see it's not the latest phone or your own laptop or…"

"Shut up mum." Adam just smiled up at his mum and took the present. "It's great and my old bike is as good as falling into pieces. Now what is this…" He ripped the paper off the second present. "Of course." He laughed slightly at the helmet which colors matched the bike. "Thanks mum." Adam smiled while Sarah took the helmet, put it on his head and stuck it under his chin, then leaned down slightly and kissed his cheek. "Mum."

Adam rubbed his cheek. A more normal thirteen year old boy would have moaned just like him. Except not as jokingly, left and rather never looked back to his embarrassing old mum. The guy in front of me just smirked, got on his bike and rode down the driveway.

"Awesome." Adam repeated again when he'd wheeled down to the end of the road and up again. "Awesome." He turned. "Now. Seth. You said you had something else. Should I and mum go inside again."

"No, you can come too." When Seth started walking down the pavement Adam started riding his bike in big circles around us. "And here." Seth stopped about four houses down the road from where I and Sandy lived. "This house. In here I have your present. All of yours."

"At Mr. Flaherty's?" I questioned while Seth knocked the door. "This isn't exactly the happiest person on earth."

"Nobody's opening." Sandy stated obviously. "Maybe we should just..." Seth just opened the door and walked inside. "That it's open doesn't mean you can just… Seth Ezekiel Cohen, what do you think you're doing?" Sandy followed Seth and Summer into the house, I followed Sandy and the others came after me one after one. And none of us got what was happening.

"Chill out dad."

"You can't just walk in like that Seth. Not into a house of someone you barely know. And Mr. Flaherty, who actually do live here is a big old grump. Forget what I just said Sophie Rose. But he is so if he finds out us lot have just walked into his house like this. Seth, don't move anything. Let's just get out of here before Mr. Flaherty comes back home and… what are you doing?"

Seth stood right up and down, with one hand towards his side and the other rubbing his forehead as if he thought his old man was the stupidest most embarrassing person on earth.

"Mr. Flaherty moved out months ago dad."

"And who lives here now then? Son. Let's just get out before someone sends the police out of here." Seth sighed deeply. "Who lives here now anyway? I haven't seen anyone here for ages? And what if?"

"DAD." Seth held up his keys and shook them right before his eyes. "I bought this house. I made a deal with Mr. Flaherty so he wouldn't tell anyone so I could surprise you on Christmukkah that we are going to be living like four houses away from each other. I want little S to grow up with his grandma and grandpa close and… this is the result."

"Oh…"

Sandy seemed to have lost all words, and I couldn't help but smile over having this part of my family as close as they would be living here.

"We have still got most of our stuff back at our old flat. It's about a twenty minute drive. But we thought maybe with your help, dad's car, Ryan's car, mum's car and maybe yours Sarah's. And then we can let the new people move in there. So what do you say?"

To help your son and daughter in love move into a new house might not have been other people's idea of a perfect Christmas day. But in all honesty, if anyone would have asked me afterwards. I'd say that this Christmas day was in the top five of all the best Christmas days I had experienced in my life.

Sarah, Adam and Sandy drove back and forth towards Seth and Summer's old house and their new one. They'd come back with each piece of furniture or their cars filled with boxes and carry them up to the house and through the door. Where Seth was driving Summer crazy with his worries that she might hurt herself if she made a single move too much.

Somewhere (God knows where) Ryan had found a screwdriver and he spent his Christmas day screwing up shelves and frames on the walls with me, Summer and Sophie Rose pointing out where he should put them. (And then changing our minds so he'd have to do it all over again)

Some time early in the afternoon Sarah, Adam and Sandy came back and said they were only a few boxes left. And Seth held up two casseroles and told Sarah he had found what she wanted. So Sandy and Adam went off again while Sarah went to the store and got what she needed.

And soon the smell off freshly made cookies went through the house. And Sarah could fill up her new cookie jar and Sophie Rose could finally taste those chocolate chip and marshmallow cookies Ryan had told her about.

Then suddenly we all realized we hadn't eaten more than cookies since breakfast and ordered the things that seemed the best on an open local restaurant that could drive their food out to us. Noodles with beef and mushroom, Shrimp stew with chili and chicken curry made a good anti-Christmas-food dinner.

And all day, before dinner and after Sophie Rose was unpacking whatever she found in the boxes putting it wherever she could find some place so everybody else could find it and put it where it was supposed to be.

And Annie….

Annie sat in a corner and watched us all doing what we did. And it didn't matter how many times I, Summer, Ryan, Sandy or Sophie Rose tried or asked her to come along. She still just glared, and watched, and glared, and watched. And then there was another meal and she'd shove the food into her mouth at the h*ll of a speed as if someone was going to take the food from her if she didn't eat it fast enough.

(Maybe that was the case. Someone would have taken all food she didn't have the time to eat from her and she'd be left hungry)

All until the evening when we had those hot chocolates.

There were still things that hadn't been put in the places where they were supposed to be. In fact all of those things had been put into one room and one room only. And it might or might not come falling out if someone opened the door too fast. But sitting around the living room on chairs, couches, or on the floor since there weren't enough places for everybody with each steaming cup of hot chocolate we were just happy and like one big happy, crazy, random family.

And suddenly I realized that Annie wasn't pouring the hot chocolate down her throat as she would earlier. But that might have been because it was so hot she would have burned her mouth and throat full of blisters if she did.

"Why do you call him or her little S?" Sophie Rose asked and got me back from thinking and wondering about why Annie did as she did. "The first letter of a name should always be a big one. I learnt that at school."

"And that's correct Sophie Rose. But we call him or her little S because he or she is a little person. And as my name starts with an S and so does Summer we thought it would be cool that if we had children his or her name would start with an S too. What do you think it should be named then Soph?"

"Sophie Rose."

Of course!

"We can't name your niece Sophie Rose." Seth joked. "That is your name. It will be confusing if we have two girls named Sophie Rose in the family. Although it is quite common if it's a boy and gets the dad's name and…"

"I'm not naming our baby Seth Junior." Summer interrupted before Seth had even finished his sentence. "And not Sanford either" she turned and looked to the baby's granddad. "Who else in here has a name that begins with S?"

"Sarah?"

"No. Not Sar…" Summer did suddenly seem to remember what Adam had suggested actually was the name of someone in the same room. "Oh, I'm sorry Sarah. I just never really liked that name. Now, because I was mean about your name you go next with suggestions."

"Don't worry about it honey. I don't exactly love the name myself. But… hmmm. Maybe Sebastian if it's a boy or Sabrina if it's a girl."

"I know." Adam interrupted his mum. "Sunshine. Your baby is due to be born in the summer right? But your name is Summer so you can't pick that. But Sunshine would fit perfectly?" Summer threw a pillow at him. "I'll take that as a no then."

"I know." Sophie Rose seemed to have another idea. "Maybe Sophia. Then it won't be as confusing." People started laughing. "I wasn't kidding. It would be so much fun if the baby had a name like mine."

"I know Soph." Seth smiled at his sister. "I think so too and the names are beautiful. But it would just be too confusing and the names just don't feel right. Do you have any suggestions Ryan?"

"Well, like Sarah I do like Sebastian for a boy. And then if it's a girl maybe… Stella."

"Stella… Sebastian." Summer tasted the names. "I like that. Sandy, you go next. Do you have any ideas?" Sandy shrugged.

"Maybe… Stephen or Stephanie."

"No…" Summer hit her head frustrated back towards Seth's shoulder. "I don't like that. I need the name to just feel right. Stella and Sebastian are nice though."

"Or maybe Skylar."

Summer threw another pillow at Adam. As if he was supposed to know what kind of names Summer would like or not. But he just laughed and threw it back to her so she could lie it towards Seth's shoulder and then lean back against him.

"What about you honey?" Sandy had turned to me and so did everybody else. "Do you have any ideas?"

"If it's a girl…." After hearing everybody else's suggestions I had had the time to figure some real, serious suggestions. "…Samantha. And if it's a boy then Samuel. I always liked those names. What about you then?" I turned to Annie. "Can you think of any names that begins with S? One if it's a boy and one if it's a girl?"

"Samantha or Samuel." Summer looked thoughtful while Annie tried to come up with something. "That sounds alright. Better than Stephen or Sunshine at least." Seth nodded agreeing. "Samuel… Samantha."

"I have a suggestion." Came from Annie at last. "But only one. But it's unisex so it will work either if it's a girl or a boy. I was thinking maybe… maybe Sawyer."

"Sawyer." Summer repeated and then looked towards her husband. "I like that… Sawyer. What do you think?" She looked down and rubbed her stomach. "What do you think? Would your name be an alright first Christmukkah present ever?"

"We still have months to figure." Seth said interrupting. "I like Sawyer too but we do have half a year still and loads of names that haven't been mentioned."

"No." Summer said with a smile only growing bigger if possible. "I can feel it. Sawyer… It just feels right." She continued rubbing her stomach and took Seth's hand with the other. "Can't you feel it too? It is Sawyer." Seth hesitated a bit. "Oh maybe it's only me being the mum and feeling him inside of me that can tell but it is. It is right." Tears had been rising in her eyes while she spoke. "Sawyer. Sawyer Cohen."

"I know." Seth smiled too, but only slightly. "I can feel it too… Sawyer it is. Thanks Annie, congratulations. We'll make sure he or she knows who came up with it. But Summer, you know that even if you keep on saying "He" it could still be a she."

"I know. But it's just that… when I picture him and see him in front of me it just… it's always a boy. With dark, frizzy hair and big eyes."

"Do you want a boy?" Sophie Rose asked. "I'd rather have a niece."

"I want a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes." Summer assured her little sister-in-law. "Then it doesn't matter if it's a girl or a boy. It's just that… It feels like it's a boy. Just like it feels right when I call him Sawyer. Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer." She tasted the name over and over again. "Thanks Annie. Seth's right. We'll always make sure he knows who came up with his name… his perfectly perfect name."

"Ugh." Annie rolled her eyes. "Well nothing gets worse than Annie so…"

"What do you mean nothing gets worse than Annie? Don't you like your name? I like your name. And I like Hope and Faith because they mean nice things. And Dennis and Clayton and Savannah and Grace. Those are all nice names. Just like Annie."

Annie had flinched slightly at the mention of the name "Grace" and I couldn't help but frown. Then, in the matter of a split second it was gone and I shook my head- I must just have imagined something. And Annie was back to her old self while my daughter seemed to wonder about something and then stood up and walked across the room to Annie.

"Here." Sophie Rose reached the dark-haired girl her own stuffed The Tramp. "I want you to have him. I don't need anymore stuffed animals." Annie carefully took it from Sophie Rose's hand, as if she was afraid that the moment would disappear if she made a move too fast. "Merry Christmukkah Annie."

At first Annie just held the stuffed animal. And for just a moment we were able to see the little girl that she actually was. Behind her "Pushing-away-anything-and-anyone-who-tries-to-come-closer-to-me." It showed only a little, little girl hugging a stuffed animal to her chest while she smiled slightly up on her friend.

"Thanks." Annie almost whispered. "Merry Christmukkah Sophie Rose."

 **Christmas day. Seth and Summer are now moving in, in the same block as Sandy and Kirsten. Sophie Rose is annoyingly excited but great fun and just happy. Adam and Sarah have just got a great relationship. There are several nice presents. And at the end, Sophie Rose gives her stuffed dog that looks like The Tramp to Annie. And Annie finally says something that isn't rude.**

 **Oh, and Annie obviously was shouting at night but doesn't want to admit it. Summer suffers from bad morning sickness. And on boxing day Summer, Kirsten and Annie will go shopping for maternity clothes and stuff for Annie.**

 **Random fact**

I get that it's weird that Summer just like that decides on the name "Sawyer" while it's still six months left of the pregnancy. But 1. It feels like something Summer would do to decide so easily. 2. I think she and Seth would like that name and 3. I know I like that name.


	4. The mall

**Hello and happy new year.**

 **I made polyvore edits with what Kirsten, Summer and Annie are shopping in this chapter. The link to the collection with edits for this story is on my profile.**

 **This chapter is told from Kirsten's point of view.**

 _December the 26_ _th_ _2013, the mall_

"Annie." Boxing day morning I knocked on the door to our guest room. "Are you up?"

I waited for a moment. Just like on Christmas day, I and Sandy had woken up early in the morning from hearing her shouting again. Just like yesterday we had gotten up and checked on her. And just like yesterday she had been- or had pretended to be asleep. Her covers were once again on the floor so I had gone to pick them up and told her she could just come and get us. Then I had went back to bed. Sandy had fallen back asleep. But I couldn't. And hearing the sound of that short, desperate screaming we had woken up to over and over again I didn't think I'd ever be able to sleep again.

At last, after two hours of twisting and turnings and trying to shove away that sound I simply had to realize I wasn't getting more sleep tonight. The clock was just after eight so it wasn't like this was an inhuman hour to be awake anyway. I got up and went to Annie's room to see if she was awake.

"Yeah." I heard from inside the room. I opened the door slightly to find Annie fully dressed for the day, standing up and she had obviously been doing something before I came in. "What do you want?"

"We were talking yesterday." I explained, Annie just leaned against the doorframe and looked at me as if she could not care less. "I and Summer. We will be going shopping for maternity clothes for her. And we were thinking you could come with us and we'll shop for you if there's anything you need. There are big sales at the mall for Boxing Day."

For a moment Annie only watched me. As if she studied me to see if I was being serious or not. Then at last, she just shrugged and spoke in a callous kind of voice.

"I can't go shopping. I don't have any money."

"Don't worry about that. Consider it a Christmas gift from me and Sandy, Seth, Summer and Ryan. Even from Sophie Rose even though she gave her the Tramp. Hey. I'm going to make some breakfast. Can you put up your things on your bed and I'll see what needs to be bought. Okay?"

For a second more Annie only looked up at me- sometimes she reminded of Ryan with all of that… looking!

"Are you going then?" Sandy asked Sarah and Adam just as I came into the kitchen and they were eating their breakfast. "You know, you can stay here if you want to. Seth and Summer are in their new house so there's plenty of space. And the more the merrier."

"No thanks." Sarah smiled. "But now when I've finally got some time off, thanks to Ryan. I think I'd like to spend it along with my son and nobody else." She ruffled Adam's hair. "Thank you so much though. All of you." She looked around on me, Sandy and Ryan. "Especially you, Ryan. Getting to spend some time with Adam is better than any other Christmas present in the world."

"Why do you always keep on doing that mum?" Adam moaned jokingly with a hand on his head. "I'm not a baby anymore."

To that, Sarah let go of her breakfast sandwich and used both hands to ruffle Adam's hair worse than ever. I glanced to Sandy, how many times hadn't he moaned about his hair and how it literally seemed like it had have its own life?

"Well that's great mum." Adam checked with his spoon as a mirror. "Now I look like a scarecrow."

"No matter what you do you're always going to be my baby. And come on, with your hair- you always look like a scarecrow."

Adam and Sarah grimaced to each other. I couldn't help but laugh. But so noticed Annie standing in the doorway and waiting for me.

"Are you done already?"

Annie nodded, then turned and went into (what was, at least for now) her bedroom and I followed.

"Here." Annie made a gesture to the things she had put up on the bed. "This is all my stuff. Plus what I am wearing then, and the Tramp that Sophie Rose gave me yesterday." I glanced over the things on the bed. Really? Nothing else? Was she wearing like thirty layers of clothes then?

Nope. She was wearing the same huge black hoodie, stripy tights and bright red sneakers that she'd been wearing yesterday. And those tights still made me dizzy.

"Don't you have a pair of sweatpants or something?" I tried to be practical. "They will be easier to get on and off if you want to try something out?" Annie shook her head. "Nothing?"

"This is all I have." She gestured to the clothes, everything neatly folded and put up on the bed- but so few items I could have counted them on my ten fingers. "Don't worry. It's fine."

"Hmm." I looked her up and down. "I think you're about the same size as Sophie Rose. I'll go see if she has something that could fit you. I'll be right back."

Going out of our guest room I suddenly realized that Annie was three years older than my Sophie Rose. I must have seen it before, maybe already when she just came here. But playing the picture of Annie passing the chair that Soph sat on when she first came here played over and over in my mind- Annie and Sophie Rose were, despite their age difference- the same size. And Sophie Rose was only the normal size of a six-year-old so Annie…

"Hey Soph." Sophie Rose ran up to me and hugged me tight. I couldn't help but smile and stroke her hair. "Listen. I, Summer and Annie are going shopping. Do you think you have a pair of jeans or sweatpants that Annie could borrow? You know how I always tell you when we go shopping that tights." Sophie Rose nodded and skipped over to her wardrobe. "So how do you like Annie?"

"She's great." Sophie Rose smiled. "I really like her. Except she smells. She made Summer throw up. Of course I don't like that because I don't want any of us to get ill. But I do think that if she has a shower she will be a lot more fun to be around. Maybe she can play with me then? With the skipping rope or something."

"Maybe she will honey. She also needs some better table manners, don't you think?" My daughter nodded agreeing and at last pulled out a pair of jeans of her wardrobe. "But then I think that's it."

"Maybe nobody was around to teach her to eat nicely then mum." She handed me the jeans. "Or that she should get washed every once in a while. And if nobody cared to teach her that then it isn't her fault that she doesn't… These are too big for me anyway. If they fit her and she likes them she can have them. Can I come shopping too?"

"Not today Soph. Maybe another day. Today you're going to continue helping daddy, Seth and Ryan to move into Seth and Summer's new house. That's a lot more fun than shopping isn't it?"

"Yes it is." Sophie Rose skipped out of the room. "I'm going to eat some breakfast first. Then I'm going to go and ask Seth what he needs help with first."

"You and I will need some breakfast first too." I gave Annie the jeans and she pulled them on. "But Summer is meeting us outside in half an hour."

Obviously, the way Annie stunk would make Summer feel exactly as she had felt yesterday morning. And I, myself was trying to breathe through my mouth whenever I was close to Annie so I wouldn't have to feel it too.

"So are you ready, for a day of shopping?" I asked when I came outside and met Summer in the driveway. "I have checked Annie's things. She needs as good as everything." Summer nodded and I could she too was trying to breathe through her mouth. "What do you need?"

"Anything under the name of maternity clothes. How can everything already be so tight?" I had to bite my lip not to laugh when I recognized the symptoms of all those pregnancy worries. "It's only been three months. I have six months left and I already feel as huge as an elephant."

"And in six months when you sit there with little Sawyer in your arms it's going to feel like the time just flew by."

Summer just smiled, rubbed her belly and looked down on it. Just as she did the door to our house opened and Sarah and Adam came out. Waving their goodbye's to the boys and Annie. Then turned to me and Summer.

"It was nice meeting you all. I talked to Sandy and Ryan a bit. We might be back and celebrate New Year's with you. But I think we'll just take it as it comes. Adam, can you put these in the car?" Sarah handed her things to her son and he walked away. "Well. If you need talking to someone who's been through… oh well. Sorry, you have Kirsten."

"Did you have much morning sickness when you had me mum? I don't think you've ever told me that."

"Ugh." Sarah moaned. "More like all-day-long sickness."

"Well. Thanks for the offer. After all, each and every pregnancy is unique. So the more women I can talk to the merrier. I'm thinking I might have a baby shower in a couple of months or so. So if you want to and the road isn't too long to come for a single party then I'd love you to come. And I have a friend back in Newport too… But my best friend Marissa… well. She won't be coming. But her little sister Kaitlin. And maybe Julie too… anyway. If so, maybe you could ride together somehow. Sorry I'm just spurting ideas all of a sudden. What do you have on a baby shower by the way? Kirsten, you'll have to help me. You are the best and… Wait. So, how are we going to get to the mall today without me throwing up from… you know?"

"Ehrm." Annie just came outside and I thought fast on how to do this. "Summer is feeling a bit nauseas. Morning sickness you know. So she's in the front seat next to me and I'll keep one window open. I hope it won't get too cold."

Annie just shrugged and opened the door to the back seat behind the driver's seat. I had been kind of afraid Annie would start a fuss about the back seat. But she only got in and I could see her get the seat belt on and then sit back while she waited for me and Summer.

Summer breathed out slightly and showed me doing so while we got into the car. As if we had already planned every single car I started the car before Summer got in so she could open the window before she got in- Annie didn't seem to even notice it.

"Time for a day of shopping." I backed out of our parking lot and turned to the road. "And both of you. Today, don't worry about any costs okay. Whatever it is, we can afford it. And if there's anything, then I will make sure to care about that. You two deserve all you can get. You too Annie."

"And if Sandy was here…" Summer teased. "…He would have commented on how much you love shopping."

I couldn't help but smile. Then looked up for a split second and looked at Annie in the rearview mirror. If she had heard a word of what I had just said she wasn't showing it. Only looking out the window wat whatever we were passing by and with her hands on her lap acting like there was nothing else in the whole wide world to care about-

"Here we are." The first thing I saw coming into the mall was a basket standing outside one of the stores. "Hair stuff…" I read out loud from the sign standing in it. "One dollar each." I looked down on Annie and her thick, dark hair. "Could be something for you. Take a look at things and take what you want."

At the moment I said it I grimaced. With like Annie had behaved earlier had been since she came to us on Christmas who would know how this was going to end.

But Annie surprised me when she carefully picked up pieces from the basket, but put most of them down into the basket again and spent a good fifteen minutes searching in the basket before finally holding two headbands, a pack of bobbles, two scrunchies and a pack of bobby pins towards me.

"Can I have these please?"

"You may." I couldn't help but smile. "And thank you for asking so nicely. Come on, let's go inside the store and see what else they have."

"Look." The first thing Summer held up coming into the store was some sort of gift-kit with lotions and shower gel. "These are nice." She looked with a hopeful glance towards me and then back to Annie. "And here is a whole wall with different kinds of shampoo and conditioners. So you just pick whichever one you like."

I smiled slightly, and along with Summer turned to the shelves with children products. Then smelt at least ten different lotions before Annie stood next to us with shampoo, conditioner and even a deodorant in her hands.

Priority number one- check!

"Oh." Summer said as soon as we were out of the store. "I don't think I've been into that store on the fourth floor before. That one with maternity clothes and loads of baby stuff. I guess I know where we'll be heading next. Can we?" She looked questioning to me and Annie, Annie just shrugged and it was fine with me.

"Maybe this one Summer…." Searching through the shelves right inside the doors of the store Annie suddenly held up a T shirt with a print. "New year, new baby. Will suit for New Year's eve won't it?"

Summer glanced towards me. I knew what she was thinking. If Annie had been acting so rude since Christmas Eve. Where had that Annie gone?

Something told me that becoming like this would be one step forward and sooner or later become two steps back.

"Well." Summer started at last. "That you're right about. You take that one, see if you can find more stuff. That's my size. You do the same Kirsten. And then meet you by the changing rooms in half an hour. Do you have a watch on you Annie?" Annie nodded and held up her arm to show the wrist watch. "Great. See you then."

I wasn't so sure it was a good idea. After all, hadn't that social worker said that Annie had been trying to run away?

To start with I kept so close I could still see Annie if I rose on my tippy toes. Then, after twenty minutes when Annie hadn't showed any intention of wanting to do more than searching for maternity clothes and turned in another direction than the Latina. Not that it didn't make me nervous though.

"I'm sorry about that." Summer told me quietly the first thing she did when we came up to the changing rooms ten minutes later on. Then looked around as if to check there was no one around to hear. "It didn't really hit me that Annie might be one to run away. And then I had said it before… Oh, there you are." Annie was just coming up by us. "What have you got?"

Annie held up two more T shirts and a pair of printed pants. Something to compare to mine and Summer's mountains with clothes.

This would take a while. And I and Annie sat down on the chairs outside the dressing room while Summer went into the stall to change her clothes. And for today, it would be the first time of many.

Of many there was. The mall was open all day. And as she didn't care about what I had said that she could get every single piece she wanted. Also needing every single piece she could possibly have. She brought a few items for herself to the dressing rooms, I and Summer brought heaps. And then she could stand for several minutes. Twisting and turning in front of the mirrors in yet one crazy outfit after the other before she decided if she wanted them or not.

I had hoped too, that now we were out around people Annie might shoe better table manners at lunch time. She didn't- in fact it was the complete opposite. With people around she moved her food onto her lap instead of the table, sitting looking up around her while she threw the food into her mouth at the same fast pace at before.

It really was as if she was ready to push someone away if they came to close.

It really was as if she wanted to eat as much as possible before someone took the food away from her.

And I couldn't shake the feeling that that was actually correct off.

"Honestly this shopping trip went better than I thought it would." At our last stop, in the small grocery store on the other side of the road from the mall day had turned into evening and we had packed I couldn't count how many plastic bags from different stores into my car to go here and get the last- bagels, cereal and milk. "Even though you know. She's got terrible table manners and all of that. For some reason I figured Annie would be one to you know, want whatever she sees and throw a tantrum if she doesn't get something. Which is weird because after all, she isn't a baby and second- she has been acting rude but certainly not spoilt."

"Sophie Rose said something to me earlier today. And it's starting to make sense more and more the more we see of her. Thatmaybe Annie acts the way she does because… where did she go by the way?"

We had come to the end of the store, right by the check-out stands. And not until then I suddenly realized that I hadn't seen Annie since we came into the store. I had just gotten so used to her not disappearing today that…

"ANNIE." Summer shouted and several people turned around and looked weirdly at us. "Sorry…. ANNIE? Where did you go?"

"Sir." With my heart beating loud and knowing Sandy would never let me hear the end of it if I had lost Annie I ran up to a clerk. "My… we have lost someone. A child, she's nine years old. She's very small, small for her age. She's barely bigger than my six year old. Dark hair, long and thick."

"Braided?" The clerk seemed mildly interested in me and who I was searching for. "This tall? Black hoodie and jeans?"

"Yes, have you seen her?"

"She's right behind you."

I span around. That she was for sure. And it seemed like she had been standing there forever. I had to suppress a sigh. That feeling of Annie's story going one step forward and two steps back was growing stronger and stronger by the second.

"Where did you go?" Annie just shrugged. "You can't just run away like that."

"I didn't." She protested. "I stopped to look at something and you walked away from me."

I suppressed a sigh. There was no point with keep on doing this about who had walked away from whom.

"Well. All we've got to do now is pay. Do you want something else?"

Annie shook her head. And with relief I walked over to the check-out stands. After having people pushing me back and forth all day by the full mall I was ready to go home and the mall was about to close even. So even if we had wanted to we wouldn't be able to stay much longer.

When the cashier told me the price I was lucky I was paying with a card. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to understand the numbers he told me. And when Summer had packed the groceries in a bag and took it. When we walked towards the parking lot I could feel a pressure over my chest, as if something bad was about to happen. And I was longing for fresh air, getting to sit down and put my feet up. So how Summer was feeling with this I could only imagine.

Five steps left until the doors…

…four…

….three…

…two…

….one…

"Excuse me ladies." Right by the doors, just as I was on my way to breathe out the clerk I had been talking to before caught up with us and laid each hand on my and Annie's shoulders. "I think there's been a slight misunderstanding here today."

My chin dropped, as if I wasn't dizzy enough from all the people around I could barely take in the words the clerk had told me. Well, that was until he turned to Annie and the words he spoke had me freezing to ice.

"Did you pay for what's in your pocket right now?"

 **This was mostly a filler. But maybe Kirsten was right. This is all going to be one step ahead and two steps back. Because either that clerk is wrong or Annie did something bad.**

 **Random fact**

The very ending moment in this chapter was actually one of the very first detailed moments of the story I had planned out when I started the story.


	5. The mystery

**Thanks to Tif S and guest for reviewing.**

 **This chapter is told from Sandy's POV**

 _December the 26_ _th_ _, The mystery_

"We were at the mall all day. Do you know how many times I told her that if she'd want anything she'd just had to tell me about it? Do you know how much we actually did get for her? And still. Five seconds before we're out there she goes off and tries to steal something."

Kirsten was more frustrated with what happened than angry at Annie. She was pacing back and forth over our bedroom floor while she was telling me about what had happened earlier. Just when she, Annie and Summer came back, Summer had gone back to hers and Seth where also Seth, Ryan and Sophie Rose were. I had only gone home to get some rest (I wasn't twenty anymore!) and heard Kirsten and Annie coming home.

Kirsten had seemed frustrated and showed Annie to go into her room the first thing she did. Annie had obeyed and Kirsten who usually hated it when somebody else just left the bags and continued and gone to do something else, had left the bags in the hallway and come to me to tell me what had happened when they were about to leave the grocery store.

"I'm telling you Sandy. This girl is trouble. She is a thief and she's caused… she's barely even been here for forty eight hours. And why do we barely know anything about her? Like first of all, she is in foster care. Second of all- we don't know anything about her. What is this Douglas Anderson trying to hide from us? Are her parents criminals? In prison? Is Annie a criminal? Who knows what have happened to her before she came here but obviously…"

"My parents are dead."

Both I and Kirsten flinched at the sudden voice interrupting ours. Then turned when we heard that voice from right outside the room. And it wasn't until then I realized that Annie must have been standing there listening. And heard exactly what we had said.

"Come here Annie." Kirsten said, a bit too harsh if one would ask me. Annie obeyed and showed herself in the door and came over to me and Kirsten. She looked up on us, but was obviously trying to hide her fear. For getting a lecture or a punishment. Or just embarrassed for what she had done.

"Go on then."

Annie was wearing an expression when I stood up and faced her. Something with anger and callous stubbornness. Mixed with a glimpse of fear that I could tell she was trying so hard to hide. It made me want to wrap her in a big hug rather than giving her a lecture.

"Well go on." Annie said rudely again. "What are you waiting for?"

"Waiting for? Go on? What is it you want me to do?"

I wasn't so sure I wanted the answer to that question. Maybe I already did know what the answer would be but only not wanting to admit that I knew. I really knew.

"Well, you're going to hit me. Aren't you?"

Yep. There it was.

"Annie." I sat down on the bed so I'd be closer to her height and not seem as frightening. "Look. What you did today was very wrong. And you're nine years old so I know you know you're old enough to know that. I don't know what it has been like where you have been before but as long as you're with us we are never ever going to hit you or… touch you physically in any kind of way that is meant to hurt you."

"But that's what people do. When they're angry with someone they hit the living crap out of them."

I suppressed a hiss about the words Annie had chosen. After everything I had heard as a lawyer. Hearing her, still only giving us a few clues about what she had been through somehow just… It just hurt.

"Well we don't." I forced back the shiver in my voice. "And neither would we Seth, Ryan or Sophie Rose. I know I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I'd ever hurt a child physically. And for me it's a question how anyone could do that."

"What do you do then? You've got to do something to let kids know they've done things wrong."

"Well. For Seth and Ryan we don't do anything anymore since they are adults now. But if there's anything then we'd ground them for a matter of time. We'd keep Seth from playing video games. Or make them do chores like dishes or laundry. They do that for a bit and then it's over and done and we can leave it behind."

Annie raised an eyebrow at me. Looking at me as if she thought I was a complete idiot. And she kept there, staring into my eyes until I was the first one to blink and look away. I opened my mouth to say something. Then closed it again when I couldn't think of anything.

"Can you take the bags into your room?" Thankfully Kirsten knew better. "Start taking off the store tags and put the clothes in the wardrobe." Annie nodded. "Then, if you want to then you can have a shower and start using whatever we have bought today." She nodded again. Kirsten sent a meaning glance towards me, she was discreetly trying to make sure Annie could get that smell off her. "You can come to us with those clothes later and we can put them in the laundry."

Annie- still in that stubborn, almost callous way looked from one to the other and met my and Kirsten's eyes with her own. Then at last she turned out into the hallway again and we could hear her continue into the hallway and take some plastic bags from the stores.

"What was it she stole by the way?"

"A bag of sour patch kids and a bar of Hershey's cookies and cream."

"Kirsten." I gave a short, nervous chuckle. "Stealing candy. Haven't we all done that when we were children? I must have done it at least five, ten, fifteen times. My mum wasn't too happy when she found out about it but I bet you there wasn't a kid in the whole town who didn't. Look, Kirsten." I patted on the bed next to me to show her to sit down next to me and calm down. "Sophie Rose told me something earlier and she said she'd told you too. Annie isn't acting the way she is to be annoying or trouble for us. But I bet the moment we find out why she smells like she does, we will get why her table manners are so bad and why she stole. But we can't ask her to change only because she is here with us if this is the way she's been living her whole life."

Not until then it hit me that Annie wasn't meant to stay here with us. That she'd only be here until after New Year's. After that we'd have no chance to help her more even if she so wanted it ever so much.

"I'll go see how she's doing." I stood up from the bed. "Don't worry. We have a few days but children can get more and change faster than we think. Get yourself something to eat or a cup of coffee."

And it wasn't until I left my and Kirsten's bedroom that it hit me that none of us had still told Annie she was only here for another few days. She must- like all of us be getting used to this as if she was going to stay here. Only the difference was we knew she wasn't, she didn't even know that.

"How's it going?" A lot had happened already today, so I decided to tell her in the morning instead. "Did you get some nice things?" Annie just nodded, pouring out a hoodie and a couple of pairs of pants onto her bed from a bag and then folding the bag and putting it to the side. "Oh don't worry about the bags. You don't have to do that so nicely." I grabbed the bag and tied it. "They go in a drawer in the kitchen."

Some of the smallest details were just puzzling about Annie. Sometimes she just seemed so careless with rude ways when she threw all food into her mouth by the table, or just glared in that very way. But this was another story- after she pulled off every stores' tag she put them in a pile on the bedside table. Then folded the clothes neatly and put them in her wardrobe.

"I'm sorry about your parents…" I tried weakly. "…In all honesty. We weren't told much before you came here. So we didn't know they were…."

"Dead?" After a few seconds in silence Annie answered the sentence for me. "Don't worry about it. They never were much of parents before that either." Without looking at me, Annie poured out what was in the last bag on her bed and folded each piece of clothing in it neatly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I hadn't noticed I was staring at Annie before she asked me why. I shut my eyes closed and shook my head.

"Sorry. I just dreamed away for a moment." I picked up more plastic bags from the floor. "Wow. I bet Kirsten and Summer were happy they got a day of shopping too. I'll go with these to the kitchen. Is there anything else you need?"

"Maybe a towel if I'm going to have a shower."

Duh!

"Did she drown in there or what?" Two hours later when a movie we were watching ended Kirsten looked up and when I thought about it. We could still hear the shower water falling towards the floor. "We started to watch the movie just as she went in."

"Calm down Kirsten." I moaned. "Well I guess she likes showering then and that's good isn't it. Don't worry." We could suddenly hear steps on the porch steps and the door opening. "HI GUYS."

"Hello." Sophie Rose came into the room and hugged her mum. "We're finished over at Seth's and Summer's." Soph smiled mischievously. "And they wanted to be left alone." She giggled. Well what was it with six-year-olds when they understood things adults didn't want them to?

"It's way past your bedtime young lady." I told her. "Go brush your teeth and get into pyjamas and I'll make you a bagel."

"We already had bagels at Seth's" Sophie Rose crawled down from the sofa again. "Where's Annie?"

"In the…" I was about to answer shower but then realized I couldn't hear the water anymore. "Well. She was in the shower at least. Now go get your pyjamas on and you can say goodnight later." Soph nodded and then left the room. "Well that seems to be the answer to your question then Kirsten. Annie has not drowned in the shower."

Kirsten only glared back at me. Then turned to Ryan and started talking about the day that had been. Until suddenly, just after Sophie Rose came back to say goodnight we heard the bathroom door unlock and then Annie's footsteps towards the living room. What came into the living room in all honestly looked like a whole new person. Without all the dirt covering her face and arms, her long, dark hair at least brushed and put into a ponytail instead of that dirty, messy plait from before. And most importantly- in new clothes and not smelling anymore- it did seem like a whole new person.

"Did you have a nice shower?" Kirsten asked. "You were in there for quite a while. Two hours actually."

"Yeah. It was nice." Annie pulled her collar over her nose and mouth and breathed in. "And I don't smell anymore. Summer can come over tomorrow and won't have to puke from coming close to me at least. She looked down on the wet towel and dirty clothes in her hands. Where should I put these?"

"I can show you." Ryan got up from the couch. "The laundry room is in the basement. Follow me."

"She said she had a nice shower…." Sophie Rose stated. And I wouldn't have cared about it if she hadn't continued. "I thought she hadn't showered because she was afraid of water or something. But she wasn't. And she still smelled really badly. So badly it made Summer feel sick. So if she wasn't afraid of the water, and she knew that she melt. Then why didn't she do something about it earlier? I mean- she could have used my shampoo too if she hadn't had her own."

Normally I wouldn't really have given such things that Sophie Rose noticed a second though. She sometimes just wondered and noticed things with a child's innocence. But this one kept on spinning in my head and again. Sophie Rose was right- if Annie knew she had smelt so awfully. Why wouldn't she have done something about it earlier?

I had once went to school with a girl who was in foster care. When we started third grade she had just come to her new family. And she had told me all about how she, and some of her friends were literally doing anything to make the parents and families like them. Only so maybe they'd find their favorite homes. Now wasn't that the way it was supposed to be.

I had had heard more stories in my years as a lawyer too. And Ryan of course standing to cook omelet one of the first mornings he was with us.

So why did it seem like Annie was doing anything and everything to push us away? She was only nine years old. Was she going to keep on pushing people away until she was eighteen years old and out of the foster care system?

Or was there something else? I just had such a weird feeling that in the mess of table manners, smelling, morning sickness, helping Seth and Summer to move and Christmukkah. There was something- something major that I had missed.

Well as if there weren't enough unanswered questions and mysteries around this child since before…

 **During writing parts of the chapter I was watching a series called new girl. And one of the main characters- Schmidt is played by an actor named Max Greenfield. Max Greenfield also played young Sandy in the flashback about when he first met Kirsten. Peter Gallagher- who plays Sandy in the O. C. In New girl plays Schmidt's dad Gavin. Just thought I'd tell you haha. Now Gavin Schmidt is, in difference from Sandy Cohen- not a very good dad, at all.**

 **Random fact**

It feels a bit weird writing about all of these details that doesn't seem to matter anyway. Like how Annie eats, and stares yet folds all the clothes neatly as if there's something important in that. Well. I'll just have to tell you it will be brought up again later into the story and then it'll make sense. So I hope you can live with the random details until it comes back.


	6. The song

**Thanks to Guest, Maleeha x and Tif S for reviewing.**

 **I have made another polyvore edit and put in the collection for this story. The link is on my profile, this latest edit is with some precious belongings that Annie have got and that will at one point or another be mentioned in the story.**

 **I have now made two polyvore edits more. Each for Annie's parents, I hope they don't give out too much about Annie's history because you're not supposed to know much about it yet.**

 **This chapter is told from Kirsten's point of view.**

 _December the 27_ _th_ _2013, The song_

"AAAH"

For the third morning in a row I and Sandy were woken up by someone shouting. I looked to the watch on my bedside table, it wasn't even five a. m. And with a moan, just as Sandy sat up I fell back towards the sheets.

"Okay." I could hear Sandy moving on the other side and then his feet hit the floor. "I'll go check on her. You can go back to sleep."

"I'll come with you."

I didn't know what made me do it. It hadn't exactly gotten us anywhere yesterday or before that. But drowsily I stood up and with heavy steps followed Sandy out of our room and right into the next. Where Annie was as usual on her back on the bed, in the dark, her covers on the floor and… well at least she pretended to be asleep while I walked over to her, picked the covers up and draped them over her.

"Hey. Annie." Sandy kneeled by the bed and talked to her. In my drowsy state I mostly just wanted to get back to bed. "I think you can hear me even though you don't want to show it. I just wanted to tell you that… that if you let us then we're here to help you. If you have nightmares, or anything else that is hard. Then you can tell me or Kirsten or Ryan or anyone of us about it. And we'll do what we can. Okay?" Annie didn't make any intention to show us she had heard. "You don't have to be afraid. We won't get angry… Now go back to sleep." He stood on stiff legs. "And so will you and I."

Sandy tiredly laid an arm around my shoulders and closed the door to Annie's bedroom after us. Then let his arm fall towards his side on the short path to our bedroom where we fell onto each side of the bed.

"I just wish she'd let us help her. I just wish we could help her."

"I know what you're thinking Sandy." I turned on my other side to fall asleep. "And you know she isn't staying with us. And she needs far more help than what we can give her."

"Do you remember that when Ryan first came here. You weren't exactly in love with the thought that he was staying. Now look at us. Wouldn't be able to imagine a life without him could you?"

"Now go back to sleep Sandy."

Well it was very easy to just say "Now go back to sleep" so I wouldn't have to start a discussion with Sandy at five in the morning. And then it was very easy for me too to pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't start anyway. He didn't, and soon I could hear his breaths going deeper and slower as he did what I had actually only told him.

"Now go back to sleep Kirsten."

Well if it had worked for Sandy…

It wasn't so simple for me though. Despite how tired and drowsy II had been only seconds ago, suddenly I felt all awake. And no matter how much I closed my eyes, fixed with the pillow and the covers or threw myself back and forth that morning. I just couldn't fall back asleep.

And in my mind those shouts I and Sandy woke up to every morning played on repeat. So did the short shout when Annie told her about her parents. So kept every single time I had seen Annie or heard her say anything.

It was hard to believe that only the other day we hadn't known Annie at all. Then suddenly she had been in our hallway without giving us a chance to make ourselves ready for an extra person in the house. And for what a person as a matter of fact. Shouting every morning, stealing, acting rudely to everybody and seeming more hurt than what we would ever be able to mend.

And then that part of not letting us help her in the slightest little bit.

" _Do you remember that when Ryan first came here. You weren't exactly in love with the thought that he was staying. Now look at us. Wouldn't be able to imagine a life without him could you?"_

Well Ryan and Annie were two completely different stories. Ryan was older and more mature already when he first came to live with us. And Ryan did have two parents after all, one who even could stand there and ask me to take care of her child.

 _Annie didn't. Her parents couldn't ask us for anything. And if she didn't want to tell us, there was no way of finding out where or what she came from._

No! Not even what she came from.

It was most likely true what Sophie Rose had figured. Annie did act the way she did not to annoy. But because that's what she had learnt to do in what she used to live before. Maybe she ate fast because there wouldn't have been much time to eat at all, maybe she stole because that was the only way she'd get anything at all.

Maybe she…

No, that wouldn't even have to be a reason. She woke up screaming every morning for a reason. Something kept on playing over and over every night on the inside of her eyelids and woke her up every morning.

And getting to know Annie, as much as it was possible anyway. I wasn't so sure I even wanted to know whatever it would take to have her waking up screaming morning after the other.

 _It doesn't matter what either you or Sandy thinks about all of this Kirsten._ I tried telling myself at almost half past seven in the morning. _Annie needs more help than what you can give her and I think you know that very well._

I pretended that was a comforting thought. That Annie might have to leave because of something we couldn't give her. And then at last I fell back asleep. For less than an hour until I heard Annie leave her room and flinched awake.

"Good morning." I greeted her where she had sat down on her usual spot in one of the arm chairs in the living room. "Did you have a good night?"

If Annie had heard Sandy talking earlier she didn't seem to be interested in showing it. She nodded. But didn't greet me back or make any intention to say anything.

"Should we go and get some breakfast. We still have loads left from our big breakfast on Christmas day. We'll have all kinds of breakfast food for weeks from now on. Maybe we should have something for lunch later too… grilled cheese sandwiches maybe. Do you like those?"

I realized I was talking more for myself than to Annie. She still hadn't said a word and only followed me while I made our way into the kitchen and started picking out things that would make a good breakfast.

"Kirsten?"

I couldn't bother making a one-sided conversation anymore so while I silently put the things from the fridge onto the kitchen counter and table I had been so used to only hearing my own thoughts I flinched in surprise when Annie finally said something and spoke my name.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a CD player?"

"Ehrm…" I had to think for a moment, that old thing hadn't been used for years so we might have thrown it away moving back here. "Yeah, we do. But it's somewhere in the attic so it might take me a while to find it. Why?"

"Because I have a CD and I want to play it."

 _Duh!_

"Ryan, Sophie Rose and Sandy are still asleep." I said after a second of thinking. "Have some breakfast, you can play music out loud when they're all up. Do you have a CD or do you want to borrow something from us. We have loads of it stored up in the attic."

"I have one. I just told you."

"Yeah." I sighed. "You did. Sorry, I'm a bit tired and confused." I picked out a pack of milk from the fridge and then closed it. "Take what you want." I turned and put the kettle on to make some coffee. Annie reached for a sandwich but I could feel her watching me and a grateful feeling of relief filled me up when I heard footsteps on the front porch, a key turn and then Seth and Summer coming in.

"Hello." They had quickly made their way from the door to the kitchen. Seth with his hair pointing in all possible directions as usual and Summer with an exhausted look on her and her jaws pressed closed.

 _Well,_ at least Annie wouldn't make her throw up more this morning.

"How are you feeling this morning Summer?"

"Ugh."

Summer just moaned and slumped down on a chair, then leaned against Seth who sat down next to her in a way that told us all about how sick she was feeling without her saying a full word. I went to open the cupboard and then the fridge.

"We have some crackers and ginger ale. Do you want some of those? It might help towards the nausea."

"Yes please."

"Now can I borrow that CD player?"

As on a given signal we could suddenly hear someone moving upstairs, then both Ryan and Sophie Rose's voices. And unless I knew him very wrong after all of these years Sandy would be up any minute now.

"What CD player?"

"Your old one." I told Seth, and hoped that he wasn't going to act like a child and only want his radio back when someone else had use for it. "It's in the attic somewhere. Annie wanted to borrow it, she's got some CD she wanted to play."

"Oh cool." Seth might have more luck talking to Annie than what I had with his random and talkative ways. "What CD? Anything I know."

"None of your business. And no."

"I know where that CD player is." Seth stood up while watching me get the ginger ale and salt crackers for Summer. "I'll only be a minute." Seth left the room, and only a minute or two later came back carrying the player by its handle. "I wonder how long it would have taken for you to find it. It was hidden behind at least fifty boxes. Hey Soph." Just as he put the radio down on a chair Sophie Rose came drowsily walking into the kitchen. "Nice shirt."

Sophie Rose- who was wearing the shirt with the lady and the tramp that Seth and Summer had gotten her from Chrismukkah glanced over the chairs around the table. Then pointed, the radio was standing on her usual chair and without anyone saying a word Seth noticed, nodded and carried away the player.

"Come on Annie. We can put this in your room and you can listen to your CD."

Seth and Annie disappeared out of the kitchen and we could hear them continue towards Annie's room. And at least Seth was trying to make a conversation. He didn't seem to have anymore luck than I had had though. And we couldn't hear anything else than footsteps and Seth's voice until Annie must have put the CD in the player and put it on.

"Good morning." Sandy came inside the kitchen just as the song started. "Good morning darling." He kissed me. "And you Sophie-Soph." He then kissed the top of Sophie Rose's soft, blonde hair. "Annie seems to have finally found something to do rather than just sitting and staring all the time."

"Hey…" I smiled when I heard the lyrics starting. "I know this song. Remember Sandy? Although… Annie is a bit too young to know about it. It's almost as old as you Sandy."

Sandy just grimaced jokingly back at me and reached for a bagel. I on the other hand had finished mine, leaned back in my chair and smiled. It must have been at least ten years since I heard it last.

"I remember this song too." Sandy suddenly said and smirked towards Seth. And I could guess what he was going to say already before he said it. "Actually, this is the song you was conceived to son."

Seth turned bright red and choked on his drink. Summer smirked at him from the other side than Sandy and I just had to think back to remember.

"Yeah. Now I remember. It was that night with the…"

"LALALALALALA." Seth sang out loud and put his hands over his ears. "I'M NOT LISTENING. I AM NOT HEARING."

"You're safe still son." Sandy continued blinking mischievously towards me. "This is a cover. I haven't heard it before. The song you were conceived to was the original that is by…"

"LALALALALA." Seth sang louder than ever and put his hands back over his ears. This time he seemed to have made up his mind not to lower them until he was safe. "LALALALALALALALALA." I and Sandy couldn't help but laugh.

Well that was until we heard the voice of our daughter right next to us.

"What does conceived mean?"

It was way too easy to quit laughing after that. And now it was Seth's turn to smirk.

Well none of us wanted to give "the talk" to a six year old. And we weren't going to either.

We managed to get her on other thoughts and soon we thought she might forget about it since the song was almost over. And still I couldn't help, at both the memory of Sandy's mention what we had done to this song and I couldn't help to count down the seconds. If it only would be done soon.

I had smiled when Annie had played that song for the first time. When I heard it the first time in God knows how many years.

I wasn't smiling when I and Sandy was working together to try and get Sophie Rose on other thoughts then what the word conceiving meant, and then the song was put on replay and started all over again. If only Sandy hadn't mentioned it from the start.

Then at last Seth and Ryan agreed to take care of Sophie Rose for the day and they all, including Summer went up the stairs to… I don't know. After everything Sophie Rose seemed to want to spend more time with Summer than her brothers and talk to baby Sawyer through Summer's belly.

Just as long as she didn't ask how that baby had gotten in there…

And I and Sandy could finally breathe out. The kids could deal with this on their own now. And I could smile again when I listened to every word of the song and couldn't help to remember. Not only the night with the sex that had ended up with me getting pregnant with Seth. But dancing, singing along, my fingers wrapped around Sandy's walking hand in hand on the beach while he was humming on the song.

That feeling of finally have found my one and only.

And now it all again.

I wasn't smiling the fifth time Annie played the song over again on replay. I could only wonder how many times we were going to have to listen to this today. And for some weird reason, listening to it I couldn't help to worry for Annie. She had only sat and glared in the living room too. But at least she had been so… away and unsocial as she was today.

I wasn't smiling when she had played it over and over again for an hour. I was starting to get sick and tired of the song when she had played it for two. And when she had played it over and over again for three hours I drew a relieved breath while I finished the grilled cheese sandwiches and egg and bacon sandwiches to get rid of some breakfast food for lunch.

"ANNIE." I knocked hard on her door and shouted to make sure she heard me over the CD player. "IT'S LUNCH NOW. YOU CAN TURN THAT SONG OFF AND GET BACK TO THIS AFTER EATING."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I heard from inside the room. At least she had heard me. "I can hear you, I'm not deaf."

"Is she still listening to that song?" Seth asked walking by towards the kitchen. I nodded and tried to look as given up as I felt. "Are you starting to get as tired of it as I do? Well. When I was up in the attic looking for the CD player I found some boxes with my old things. I and Summer was going to take some to ours and look through them there. But Sophie Rose wanted to help out too so we took them into her room. And the girls every time they find something cute infant-sized…" Seth sighed and then shook his head. "Girls!"

"You can't just say girls are like that Seth. Because not all girls are like that." Sophie Rose said thoughtfully while she took a grilled cheese sandwich from a plate Ryan had started passing around the table. "I wouldn't think Annie is like that. But maybe we should ask if she wants to join us. Going through things and finding loads of things like that is so much fun."

"Well… I guess you could go and ask her." Seth silent for a second and seemed to listen for something. "Rather you than me."

"Seth!"

Seth only raised an eyebrow as if he wanted to say to me that I knew I thought the same and would do anything not to have to talk to Annie. I glared back at him, and didn't look away until my look had more or less forced my son into saying something.

"I agree with Soph." Seth said at last with a frown while we could hear her voice, muffled by the walls in between us. "Annie doesn't really seem like the one who would like this kind of stuff. But what does she like doing actually? I mean, she's got to like something else then trying to steal candy, glaring all around and listening to the same song over and over for a whole day. Doesn't she?"

"She does." Sandy agreed. "But what she does I do not know. Has she told you anything Kirsten?"

"No. But even before she tried to steal she didn't seem all too impressed by the plan of shopping all day long so I don't think it's going to the mall or shopping neither." We could hear the door to Annie's room closing and then footsteps towards the kitchen again- only one pair of them. "What did she say Soph?"

"Annie wanted to stay in her room listening to that song." Sophie took her sandwich again and pulled up her feet to sit crouched on the chair with a distressed look in her eyes. "She didn't even move anywhere when I came in. She just sits there, not even on the bed or the chair. Right on the floor, by the CD player and she doesn't even seem to care for anything else. But I noticed she had something. But just as I came in she hid it. I tried to ask her what it was but she didn't want to tell me and just told me I'd imagined things. But I didn't. Because I could see her sliding in something underneath a shirt just when I came into the room."

"Thank you Soph. It was a nice try." I stood up, grabbed a few of the sandwiches on a plate and took a tray from a kitchen cupboard. "We've got to make sure everybody eats still. I'll go and talk to Annie." I put two glasses on the tray and a jug of water. "She needs to eat. So if she can't come to the food, then food will come to her." I took the tray, then noticed the look on my daughter's face. "What's wrong Sophie Rose?"

"You're letting Annie eat in her room." She pouted. "I wanted to eat in my room loads of times. But you never let me. Why does she get to do it?"

"I…"

I tried to answer. But couldn't actually think of one. That she actually came down and into the kitchen for meals? That she wasn't obviously underweight? That she was well-behaved?

At last I trusted Sandy and maybe Seth or Ryan, and Sandy nodded at me to go while they answered and I left the kitchen. Still being reached by the unusually whiny tone in her voice.

After all, it wasn't easy to adjust to there suddenly being another kid in the house that we didn't even know for me or Sandy. And we could only imagine how it must be for Sophie Rose who was only six years old. If these few days that Annie was staying with us we'd have to reward her in some way.

"Annie?" I knocked on the door to Annie's room soon. "I'm coming in. Okay?... Here." Just as Annie pressed replay on the same song one more time I opened the door and walked in. "When you didn't come for lunch I thought I'd bring some here for you." Annie sat on the floor, but I sat down on the foot of her bed and put the tray next to me. "Eggs and bacon or grilled cheese sandwich?"

I couldn't help but notice it seemed like she had hidden something under the hooded shirt that laid on the floor next to her. She had slipped something in underneath it just as I opened the door and came in.

Whatever it was she ignored it.

"Egg and bacon please."

Annie could really confuse me sometimes. It might have seemed like tiny little details to anybody else. But when Annie asked for things she was just sometimes so polite. Only to talk as rudely or asking as weird questions as before in the next minute. And when I reached her a sandwich I wasn't surprised when she didn't thank me.

"I thought you were Jewish." Annie looked down on the bacon slices on her sandwich. "Jews aren't supposed to eat pork, are they? And there's butter. And if I don't remember it wrong they neither eat milk products and meat together."

"You're not Jewish are you?" Annie shook her head. "It's only Sandy. And as long as Sophie Cohen's- Sandy's mum's ghost comes from the grave and starts haunting us then we'll be fine."

"Ghost? Start haunting?" Annie snorted at what I had said. "So… Sophie was Sandy's mum's name? Sophie Rose must be named after her then?"

"Yeah. And Rose was my mum's name." Annie nodded slowly looking up at me. "Are you named after someone?" Her look into my eyes turned into a glare while she reached out and put that song on replay again.

"My dad's name was Anthony. He wanted a son to name him Anthony Jr. He got me. And made it Annie. And that's the most stupid name of all…" I was on my way to protest- there was nothing wrong with her name. "I don't think anyone should be named after someone like that. All people have done terrible things. And babies are just… innocent. They deserve to have their own name and not being named after someone who did something bad."

"Well. Both Sandy's mum and my mum did many good things too. They loved us very much and we also loved them. They both died of cancer before she was born. And then, when she was born it felt like the right time to… It just felt right. But it wouldn't mean that we loved Soph any less if she… if somebody else, even herself might think that she hasn't come as far as Sophie or my mum."

Annie nodded slowly, and with head turned away from me she was staring to her side and on the shirt that laid on the floor. And on top of something that I couldn't see but didn't know whether I should ask about or not.

I actually didn't know if I should ask anything, say anything at all.

But something in me just told me that I had to. And break the awkward silence in between us.

I hesitated for a bit. We still didn't know much about who Annie was or where she came from. I wanted to know more. Yet we knew what was most important- her parents were dead and there was no bringing them here. At last, taking the last few bites of my grilled cheese sandwich I decided to go for it and ask.

"What was she like? Your mum?"

In the moment I had asked the question I regretted it. Still with her eyes sternly set at the shirt next to her hiding something there was something in her eyes I hadn't seen before. Something hard, and way too heavy for a nine year old to bear on her own. For a second I almost expected a scene to start playing in her eyes of something she had seen, like on TV.

"Her name was Grace if that's what you're wanting to know."

That was not what I wanted to know.

I would have wanted to know where Annie had been before she came to live with us. What she and her parents liked or disliked. What they'd spend their time with after coming home from school or work. What she liked to do during the weekends- I wanted to know anything that could help me help her.

"Now can you leave me alone?"

"Yes of course."

I didn't want to. I wanted to know more and couldn't remember ever being so curious about anything. Except maybe about Ryan when Sandy had first told me about him. But I didn't want to make Annie feel like I pressured her into something. So I put the plate and glasses on the tray and got up to leave.

"Can you leave that jug and glass of water in here please?"

"Yes of course."

I put the things she had asked for on her bedside table and then left the room. But not without trying one more time.

"If there's anything else I can help you with. Or anyone else in this house. Then don't be afraid to come and ask for it. We're all here to help you. Even if it's only about a glass of water or some other songs to listen to every once in a while."

"I don't want any other songs to listen to."

I closed the door after me leaving, Annie was talking more to herself than to me and as soon I wasout of the range of her hearing me I heaved a deep sigh and let go of the tray on the kitchen counter. The kitchen was now empty and with another sigh I laid my hands on the counter and leaned against it while sighing deeply yet one more time.

"Are you okay?" I hadn't heard Sandy coming up behind me so I flinched when he asked, then nodded without turning around and he came to lay his arms around my shoulders from behind. "What did Annie say?"

"Well. If that can help us I now know her parents' names were Anthony and Grace. Where are the others?"

"I just had to give in to Sophie Rose. I said that it was okay they ate in her room as long as they used trays and her desk and not her bed… You know. This whole thing with Annie must be hard for her to adjust to- not that any of us got much time adjusting to the thought before she was here but anyway. She's handling it well. We will have to reward her somehow."

"I was just thinking the same."

Sandy didn't say anything more. At least not at the moment. And for a couple of minutes was the only sound we could hear the song ending and then starting over again in Sandy's room.

"Ignoring memories of that night when Seth was conceived. Even though that's the best part. Do you remember we used to dance to this one?" Sandy took a step back from me. Then tenderly touched my shoulder to have me turning around and towards him. Then took one of my hands in his and laid a hand on my waist. I just had to go along and laid my other hand on his shoulders then led me into an I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-it-dance there in the kitchen.

"And it was quite old already back then."

"It was." Sandy agreed. "So it's amazing how you and I doesn't age. Isn't it?"

I couldn't help but to give a short laugh, before I leaned closer into his grip and pulled my arms around him. I could feel him now putting his arm around me and he kissed my hair when I leaned against his shoulder still moving from side to side to the beat of the music.

 _And I love you, I love you, I love you like never before._

"How did I become so lucky I got a husband who can sing so well?" I asked out loud. "Let's not check whether I can sing it back to you or not…" Sandy laughed, I really couldn't hit a note right to save a life and we both knew it. But while we kept moving for several minutes, the song ending and then starting over.

"What are we going to do Sandy?"

"About Annie you mean?"

"About Annie."

Sandy silent for a while. While we were still moving back and forth to the music holding onto each other as if it was for dear life it could have been not to break the precious moment. But it had already been broken by me asking what we were both wondering and at last Sandy sighed deeply before he answered.

"It's only a couple of days until my friend Doug comes back to work after his holidays. I'll ask him to contact me right away when he comes back and then we'll have to figure about what to do. But until then…." He sighed again. "We'll just have to care for Annie as we'd care for anybody else."

"I know what you want Sandy." I said about the knowledge that Sandy already wanted Annie to stay here with us. "But it's just not possible. She needs help. And we can't give her that."

Sandy didn't respond. But he didn't get much time to either before we heard the door upstairs, four pairs of footsteps and then Sophie Rose, Ryan, Seth and Summer came into the kitchen and I and Sandy let go of each other. And right then the song also ended…

…And started over again.

"I am so sick and tired of this song I feel like smashing that stupid CD player into pieces." Summer moaned and walked over to put the dishes in the dishwasher. "Why does she keep listening to it like that? That song is old as… I don't even know how old. Just… just… just… why?"

"She's not even doing anything." Seth continued. "She's just sitting on the floor by it listening. How long has she been there actually? And how much fun could it be?"

"Do any of you guys think we should do anything?" Summer then took over again. "Invite her to something or… anything like that?"

"We already did. I went to ask her if she wanted to come with us." Both Summer, Seth and Sophie Rose sighed as if in a choir. "What do you think we should do mum?"

"I think… oh. I wasn't really thinking about it. But we should probably let it be. Let it be until dinner or so. If you can't stand it you can go to your house and we'll be calling you about dinner later. But I don't want to pressure Annie into telling us anything or not doing something she wants. If we want her to trust us, or anyone- ever. I don't think that's the way to do it."

"We can take some boxes away to yours can't we?" Sophie Rose leaned her head back and looked up on her brother. "Please. Mum's right but I am just so sick and tired of this song. And you will help us carry with you?"

"I'll stay here so Annie's not alone." I told, I might just as well. "The rest of you can go." The rest of my family left the room. Except for Ryan who seemed to be having something on his mind

"I just wanted to say…" Ryan said so quietly only I could hear it, scratching the back of his head in distress. "…I think you're right about not pressuring her. But if we want her to trust us we might want a bit more than a few days." Ryan looked at me, and there was something in his eyes now that I couldn't quite place. Something pleading- like. "I'll go help out."

"I know what you think." I said before Ryan was out of here. "And the answer is no. She isn't staying and we both know it."

Ryan shrugged slightly and with a slight smile- that ended up more of a half-hearted grimace he looked back. Then turned around again and left my sight to go help the others and carry things away to Seth and Summer's house. And I just couldn't help but remember that the only one of us who had been in a somewhat similar situation to where Annie was was in fact Ryan.

But Ryan did have a parent to ask us to take care of him.

And Ryan, at the time was also a teenager and could to big parts take care of himself.

Thoughts about wherever Ryan and Annie, I, Sandy, Seth, Summer, Sophie Rose and maybe even little Sawyer was in this. During all the afternoon I couldn't concentrate. And it wasn't all because that song kept on playing on repeat through the house without stopping.

Something made it feel like time was just dragging on and on and on. Sandy had stayed behind at Seth and Summer's house and so had Ryan. I still didn't want to leave Annie alone in the house. But ended up not knowing wherever to be during the whole afternoon. And when I suddenly heard footsteps on the porch steps and the rest of my family I suddenly realized hours had passed by and it was dinner time.

"We found these…" Seth handed me a pile of CD's. "We went through everything to see if we could find anymore but that's it. But you could try with Annie and maybe she will at least play something else…" Sandy started humming along to the song. "…We already ordered food over here. We hope Chinese is okay. And I guess I'll put out some plates and things on the table then."

Before I could say anything Seth and everybody else had ran away while I stood in the kitchen with the pile of CD's in my hands and didn't have no other choice than to go and give them to Annie. Or at least try

"It's dinner now." I knocked on the door and then opened and walked in. "Well. We ordered some so it should be here soon. But first… Sophie Rose, Summer, Seth, Ryan and Sandy sorted through some old stuff and found these. Here." I riffled a bit in the CD's that we had found. "They found some different, Elvis, Queen, Kizz and wow it's way too long since anyone of us listened to a CD." I picked out the last in the pile. "Celine Dion? Do you like her? We thought you might be getting tired of listening to one song over and over. But if you still want to listen to some music…" I laid the small pile of CD's on the floor by her. "Feel free to use the…"

"I'd rather listen to this one."

Of course you would!

"Who is it singing? I've listened to this song before. But this must be a cover."

"No one."

Okay. I got that Annie had been through things before she came to ours. Something I couldn't even imagine. But her short answers, glaring and staring was getting frustrating and a part of me just wanted to pick Annie up and shake the answers out of her.

"You can't sit here all day." I said at last. "And I know that we all really want to get to know you better. The last few days everything's circulated so much around Christmas and New Year's so we haven't really gotten the chance…" The song was nearing its end. "Don't you want to come with me and then… Well, I know Ryan first got to know Seth playing video games..."

"Ryan first got to know Seth… what do you mean? They're brothers aren't they?"

"Oh." I had to think for a moment to realize nobody had told Annie who Ryan actually was. He had just been a part of our family for so long I couldn't imagine him not. "Ryan was actually a teenager when he came to live with us. Long story short, he and his… biological brother Trey got into some trouble with the law. Sandy was his lawyer and… well, here we are. And the first morning Ryan was with us I and Sandy got out of bed to find the boys playing those games as if they hadn't done anything else ever."

Annie only watched me where I sat. I couldn't think of anything more to say so at last when Annie looked like she was going to say something more I had to suppress a breathe in relief over the awkward silence in between us.

"I'm not very interested in playing video games."

I probably could have guessed that.

"Neither is Sophie Rose. Listen Annie, I know there are three years in between you two. And I know that three years seem like a long time and a big deal when you are six and nine years old. But maybe you could find something you have in common and something to talk about and you won't have to spend another day listening to the same song over and over again."

 _Please please please please please please please…_

"I don't mind sitting here listening to the same song over and over. Really. So unless you have got something against it I'd like to stay here listening to the same song over and over."

 _Well, it was worth a try!_

"A boy from down the street, Casey McIntosh, Sophie Rose's best friend comes home tomorrow. He is six too so a bit younger than you but maybe you three could figure out something to do together."

"I'm not a toddler. You don't have to talk to me as if I was. "

I was about to answer when suddenly there was a ring on the doorbell. But what was I supposed to say, questioning how she wanted me talking to her? Apologizing for actually talking to her as if she was younger than she was- and with a nine year old's pride that meant something.

"That would be the food that we ordered." I said when I heard Ryan talk to a delivery guy. "We ordered some Chinese food. And decided to order some that at least we haven't tried before. But I can't bring it in here for you this meal. So if you're hungry you'll have to turn the song off and come to the kitchen."

Annie looked up at me for another second, and I stood up and waited for her too. But without another word she looked back towards the CD player and slumped in her position. She obviously wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm going." I said at last. "I can't force you to do anything. But know that whenever you get hungry the dinner is served."

"Isn't Casey a girl's name?" I had started moving towards the kitchen but stopped in the doorway when Annie said something. As if both Casey and we hadn't gotten that one before about his name! "And McIntosh… that's a stupid name."

"The name Casey is unisex." I said at last. "It can be for both a girl and a boy…. Now, come and have dinner whenever you feel like it."

I didn't want to nag her. Yet I knew she'd have to eat something, well…

"I guess she'll come and eat whenever she's hungry." I sat down by the table to eat. Trying to believe what I had told them and not worry. Then started putting up food on my plate and couldn't help but to listen up when I heard the song's end for the millionth time today. Maybe Annie would come along when it had ended this time…

 _And I love you, I love you, I love you. Like never before._

 _Like never before._

Then silence…

…Until the intro played loud and the song started all over again

 **Song: Songbird- Originally by Fleetwood Mac. On the CD is the glee cover sung by Naya Rivera.**

 **Random fact**

Writing this chapter was sooooooooo slooooow. It's so long and it's only the same things over and over again. With the song and not getting Annie to say much and everything. I still think the chapter is quite alright though. And I hope you like it even though it's really long. (While writing this I still have a bit left to write. But almost finished)


	7. The gymnast

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I have a tad too many stories going on right now. Good news are several of my stories are getting close to their endings. And those six are prioritized right now so I can later update the stories left more. It is this story, and then five others that are listed below if anyone wonders.**

 **-Unpretty hurts  
-How far I'll go  
-The one where rawr means I love you in dinosaur  
-Dancing in the rain  
-Stranger defended **

**So you can expect to see those stories updated. And hopefully you won't have to wait for months and months for updates. Neither for any other stories when I haven't got as many going on.**

 **And then, more notes. The page where I put up edits for the characters and stuff, Polyvore has been taken down. Yes. It's the whole page and not only my account. Instead I have now put up an Instagram account for my fanfiction-related pictures. Such as pictures of cla's and outfits, updates about what chapters I'm working on and more. And if you're interested in following it then you can find it under the name of "Linneagbfanfiction"**

 **Thanks to Tif S for reviewing.**

 **Look guys! I made a cover picture. It's stuffed animals that look like Lady and the tramp and a bottle that looks like some kind of beer bottle- (It was actually "Påskmust" in it- a non-alcoholic soda we drink for Easter or Christmas, but if it's for Christmas it's called "Julmust")**

 **Also, to have them all in one place. Here are all the celebrity look-alike's for this story**

 **Annie Derek- Baby Kaely  
Grace Derek- Naya Rivera  
Anthony Derek- Adam Rodriguez  
Douglas Anderson- Dolph Lundgren  
Sarah Jensen- Jennifer Aniston  
Casey McIntosh- Ben Hampton (The kid on Instagram, not the rugby player) **

**Sophie Rose and Adam are portrayed by the actors who portrayed them in the last few clips of the last episode of the O. C. Adam is one named Easton Gage. But who it was for Sophie Rose I cannot find anywhere on the Internet.**

 **This chapter is told from Kirsten's pov.**

 _December the 28_ _th_ _2013_ _, The Gymnast_

December the 28th neither I nor Sandy could fall back asleep after being woken up by Annie in the morning again and the way she shouted. So for two hours before Annie, Ryan or Sophie Rose got up we only sat by the kitchen table and stares tiredly down into each cup of coffee.

"I just wish there was something we could do." I mumbled to Sandy. "If she'd just let us. Either we could help us or we could get help from somebody else that knew how. Like a psychiatrist or something. What I know is that I can't stand being woken up this early every morning anymore."

"I have to agree."

After that none of us seemed to have the energy to say anything at all. In the corner of my eye I could see Sandy sat with his fingers wrapped in his greying, dark hair in a distressed move. If I didn't know better I would have thought it looked as if he was crying.

"I wonder if we're going to hear that song again today?" Sandy questioned after a while. "For sure, yesterday we heard it from early morning until late night. And I never knew a song I liked so much that was really a part of some wonderful memories and now the thought of it makes me cringe."

I didn't answer. Annie had told us yesterday pretty much that song or whoever had done the cover of it that she had played were nothing. But if it really was nothing then why would she play it over and over for a whole day like she had?

It really did feel as with Annie, new things turned up every day. New questions were asked and new details showed. Surely there was a way they, and the way Annie was in just herself would make sense. But I wasn't so sure I wanted to know how.

Thirty two minutes past seven I and Sandy could hear Annie getting out of bed. Her bedroom was close to the kitchen where we were and we could hear her walking around. I got up and poured my cup of tea, now cold into the sink.

"I'll talk to her."

"And say what?"

"I don't know. But I can't just sit and wait for something to change."

"I'll come."

I waited for a minute while Sandy poured his tea out in the sink and stretched. He looked as tired as ever when we moved towards the door of Annie's room and I knocked the door.

"Annie?" I shouted through the door when there wasn't an answer at first. "It's me and Sandy. Can we come in?"

"It's your house."

I carefully opened the door. Annie stood up when we came in and seemed to be in the position of being ready to defend herself if we tried to touch her.

"It is our house yes. But it's your room. And know that nobody's allowed to come in here unless you want them to." Annie nodded slightly, but didn't move an inch or answer verbally. I suppressed a sigh and glanced towards Sandy who signed at me to continue. "Hey. Listen Annie… It's okay. We're not going to give you a lecture or anything only because we're both here. We just need some privacy. And…. I, and Sandy of course… We just wanted to take a chance to say that… if you're having problems of any kind… Nightmares, if you don't feel well or in pain of course, boredom or anything at all. That simply isn't the way they should be- you can tell us about it."

By the way Annie looked at us I could already tell we hadn't anywhere near reached her. While she breathed in to start answering I knew we weren't exactly going to get the response we were aiming for.

"What are you talking about? Of course there is nothing. Why you I feel ill or in pain? I feel fine. If I'm bored I just find something to do and I haven't dreamed a nightmare for as long as I can remember. This is like the best place I have ever lived. I even have my own room and you told me that no one's allowed to come in here unless I give them permission first. What would you think should be a problem? Is there anything I did?"

"No, you did nothing wrong. We just wanted to make sure you knew."

"Well. I'm fine. So you didn't need to. And you don't need to worry about me."

It was obvious Annie didn't want to talk about this. It was also obvious it wasn't as simple as she would have wanted to make it seem. I sent Sandy a hopeless kind of look. He looked as loss in what to say or do as I felt. And seemed to be hoping as much for me to say something than what I did him.

"That's what we're here for." Sandy said at last. I could hear the suppressed sigh in his voice. "Worrying I mean. And no one's going to get mad or anything. But we would really like for you to trust us with… sharing whatever you'd like. Sometimes things feel better after talking about them."

"Well, I'm not like that. Now GO. This is my room and I don't want you here."

After what we'd just told Annie about this being her own room I and Sandy had no choice. Without another word we both stood up to leave. Annie stood turned against the chest of drawers she had put her clothes in and chose something to wear for that day. Didn't even look up at us, well. At least not until Sandy bent down to the floor.

"Maybe you'll don't want to have this shirt lying from the floor."

"NO." Annie shouted louder than ever. "It's my floor, it's my shirt. Don't touch it."

The expression when she quickly turned around told us everything. So did the way the shirt looked where it laid- there was absolutely something hidden under it. Then, right next to it stood the CD player she had used all day yesterday. These things would most definitely have something to do with each other.

"GO." Annie more or less pushed me and Sandy away from her and towards the door. "I SAID…" We stumbled backwards through the door. "LEAVE ME ALONE."

She then threw the door closed with a BANG.

"We aren't allowed to slam the doors like that." Sophie Rose stood right nearby in the doorway to the kitchen. "You should let her know that. If I had done it you would scold me and tell me I can't do that."

I was on my way to scold her now. But Soph was only six years old. It would be hard to understand why she and Annie were treated differently. Then of course she'd think it was unfair and there was no point with scolding her for it. She was only a child after all.

"It's not actually that simple Soph." Sandy said, I was grateful he came up with something to say and followed while he led our daughter towards the kitchen. "Now, what do you want for breakfast? Oatmeal if I know you right."

"With banana and cinnamon."

While Sandy and Sophie Rose started their breakfast it wasn't long before we heard Annie's door open and close. Then footsteps and Annie soon came into the kitchen and looked around for something to have for breakfast.

"There's oatmeal over there if you want." Sandy pointed to the stove. "Otherwise, help yourself. Anything bought is bought to get eaten. And if you eat something we needed for something we'll just buy new." Annie nodded and walked over to the fridge. Then got out the salmon we had used for our big Christmas breakfast.

"It's nice to know you won't be spending all day in your room today too Annie." Sophie Rose stated. "I hope you won't. We barely saw you at all yesterday. But do you know who you'll be meeting today? My best friend Casey have been away at his brother's for Christmas. He came home late last night. I know he would have liked to come over already then but that was too late. So he's coming over today. Soon. It feels like we haven't met for ages even though it's only been a week. But it's not that strange because I and Casey have met almost every day as long as I can remember. Do you have a friend like that? One that you met every day since you can remember?"

I was surprised when Annie looked up from the salmon sandwich she was making when Sophie Rose was just making an innocent question. It seemed Sophie Rose and Sandy were too and Ryan just came into the room before Annie answered.

"No."

"No?" Ryan questioned drowsily and rubbed his eyes. "No what?"

Annie turned back to the sandwich. But I had seen Sophie Rose slump slightly with a saddened look upon her face where she sat. In the stern sound of Annie's voice in that one, short word I felt myself doing the same.

"But you've had to have some friends. Someone you knew forever?" Annie shook her head without looking up this time. "Never?" Annie shook her head again. "Not anyone?" Another shake. "Well… Now you're here I can be your friend. I can't be your best friend since Casey's my best friend but… I can be your almost best friend."

"I SAID NO."

In those three, short, shouted words there was so much broken…

With fast moves Annie took the two sandwiches she had made and her glass of milk. Then hurried over the floor and into her room slamming the door after her. With a thick kind of silence following it.

"Doesn't she want any friends?" Sophie Rose questioned in confusion. "But everyone wants friends. Everyone needs friends. There's no way a person could get through a whole life all alone... is there?"

I patted Sophie Rose's back when I couldn't think of anything to say.

"I'm sure Annie isn't all alone Soph." Ryan said and sat down next to her. "She's got us. Now eat, focus on your breakfast. Oatmeal? Well, I suppose you'll need the energy when Casey comes here after lunch. With a slight grimace (Oatmeal was definitely not Ryan's favorite, like it was Sophie Rose's) Ryan turned to his coffee and let the words silent.

"Here." Sophie Rose smiled and giggled again. Took a spoonful of oatmeal and shoved it close to Ryan's face and mouth. "Eat it. It's good for you. Eat. Come on then, eat."

Ryan moved away grimacing and moaning. But I noticed the smile when he turned away from his as-good-as little sister. Sophie Rose kept on giggling but ate still and finished her breakfast.

I didn't know that, but from her room Annie could hear the giggling and our family being just that. A family. And hearing the giggling a few of the tears that kept burning behind her eyes came rolling down her cheeks.

It was just that- a family.

Annie only came out of her room later to put the glass she had used in the dishwasher. Then she disappeared again. But while the song she had played through the house again and again all day yesterday wasn't heard once.

"What are you doing?" I knocked on her door to tell her about lunch. Annie only laid on her back on her bed only staring into the ceiling. "Have you been lying like that all day? Isn't there anything that you like doing? I'm sure we could arrange something for you if you do? Do you like reading? Or soccer? Or drawing? Anything?"

"I don't really have any hobbies." Annie answered at last. "Except for eating then. Did that Charlie or whatever his name was arrive yet?"

"His name is Casey. And no, he'll come here once we've had lunch."

As on a given signal, in the same moment as Sophie Rose swallowed her last bite there was a ring on the door bell and she got up and ran to the door while shouting.

"THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE. Oh…."

"Isn't it cool? Mum said on Christmas, now I'm almost seven years old I am big enough to walk over to your house myself without her or dad having to come with me every time. Cool huh? I had so many cool presents. Did you? Can I see what you got? And…"

Casey and Sophie Rose made their way through the hallway towards the kitchen. Then, once they came through the doorway Casey recognized myself, Sandy and Ryan and he froze as well as his etes set on Annie.

Sophie Rose noticed that too.

"Casey, this is Annie and she's living with us right now. And Annie. This is Casey and he's my best friend. He only lives right down the street so we're almost neighbours. We've been best friends since we were babies." Casey was still staring on Annie who helped herself to more of the food and then ate with the manners of a horse.- to put it nicely. "Now come on, tell me. What did you get for Christmas?"

"You will never guess. My brother have got a trampoline." Casey told excitedly. "In his garden. He let me jump on it as much as I wanted. And then he and mum and dad told me that after New Year's some time we can go and buy one for me. And have in our garden, best Christmas gift ever. And Riley knows all kinds of cool tricks on the trampoline. Front flips and back flips and turning cartwheels and everything. When he comes here in the summer I'm going to have practiced loads and I will know how to do them too. They are so cool."

"They can't be that cool." Annie suddenly interrupted and snorted. "They're not hard to do without a trampoline. So they have to be super-easy to do on one."

Casey searched for the right words to come back with. He looked like a part of him wanted to say that he could do it and it wasn't that hard (he couldn't). And another part was impressed with any person that could.

"Well I can't do it. And my parents can't, and Sophie Rose can't… There's no one to teach me since Riley, my brother lives so far away."

Annie shrugged and snorted slightly at him. Then kept on eating until her plate was all clean while Casey was still watching her.

"What?"

"Can you do it?"

"Well, what do you think? I call things I can't do easy. Yes."

Casey pouted slightly. He didn't like people using the tone as if he was stupid. Then he raised his back and glared back at her. Trying to seem more confident than what I knew he was.

"Show us then."

I had expected her to hesitate, getting nervous and maybe she didn't know how to do it at all. Just wanted to prove Casey wrong. But she didn't, in fact she got onto her feet right away and threw her hoodie off and on the chair.

"Annie please. Flipping and all of that, if you're going to do that. Go outside, where there's nothing you can knock over and break."

She rolled her eyes. But obeyed and Casey and Sophie Rose followed her out of the room and towards our front door.

"I kind of want to see this."

"Me too."

After Sophie Rose and Casey I and Sandy followed. Ryan too since he just came down the stairs and must have sensed something was up. Annie only stood on the porch for a few seconds to- I guess choose an alright spot for whatever she was planning. Then walked out to the middle of the grass matt by the kitchen window. And while the five of us watched from the porch and Seth and Summer came up the road Annie jumped and made a back flip. Barely had her feet touched the ground before she did it front and then turned a cartwheel.

I wasn't any kind of expert in gymnastics or any other kind of sports. But even I could see that it was quite well done. And when I looked down on my side I could see Casey and Sophie Rose's eyes had opened wide and their chins had dropped.

"Wow…" Casey beamed. "That was so awesome. Where did you learn how to do that?" Annie just shrugged.

"Nowhere."

"You've had to learn somewhere." Casey stated with a frown. "Who taught you?"

"Nobody. I taught myself."

If Casey's big eyes could have grown any bigger they probably would have. He really was surprised and impressed in every way possible- and we at last knew something about what Annie's hobby might be. And if Sophie Rose hadn't started talking to him right then he could probably have asked a billion questions to learn what Annie had just showed him as if it was as easy as taking a step.

"Come on now Casey. I want to show you what I got for presents too. Just look at this T-shirt. With Lady and the tramp. And you will never guess what Seth and Summer surprised all of us with. Guess what?"

Casey and Sophie Rose turned and walked back into the house. Ryan, Seth and Summer followed. But I froze for another few seconds as she turned a cartwheel again- on one hand this time. And then another few gymnastic moves I didn't know what they were called.

"You know…" Sandy started and I noticed he was right behind me still. "…When Doug brought her here he told me she's a runner. If she wanted to run away she's had plenty of chances the last few days. Yet she's still here. Do we dare leave her alone outside you think?"

I glanced at Annie who seemed to be trying making another backflip. Honestly she seemed quite concentrated and something told me Sandy's friend Douglas might or might not have been right.

"Annie. We are going back inside. But as long as you don't leave the yard you can stay out here as long as you want. And stay at this side so we can see you from the kitchen."

"Okay."

It still wasn't without nervousity that she might get lost all of a sudden I closed the door after all of us and then went into the kitchen and gazed through the window. Yep, Annie was still there practicing her moves.

She confused me that girl! As if she hadn't done that enough only with coming here at all.

I stayed in the kitchen, but whether it was because she knew I watched her or not Annie kept what she'd said and never once made any intention of meaning to leave the spot of grass she was on. Well that was until she came inside two hours or so and came straight up to me.

"Do you have a skipping rope?"

"Ehrm…" I wondered for a second and then shook my head. "I don't think so. No… Neither Seth nor Sophie Rose ever had any interest in one so I don't think so. Why? Do you want one?" Annie shrugged. "We can get one if you do." She turned and walked away without listening. When she was almost out the doorway to the hallway I heard her mumble.

"All those toys and no skipping rope. Damn it that kid is spoilt."

I raised an eyebrow, but decided not to give any comments before I kept on riffling in the menus from town's all restaurants to try and figure what to order for dinner.

"A skipping rope. Shouldn't be too expensive should it?" I asked myself when went to do some laundry in the laundry room in the cellar."

Well sometimes I missed having Rosa back in Orange County to help with these things. And food that weren't from restaurants. But when I laughed to myself throwing T-shirts into the laundry machine I caught myself… well, I wouldn't call it enjoying it. But something calming around doing something I had to do and knew exactly how.

"Whoa." I jumped when I turned and suddenly had Annie right there. She hadn't been behind me a minute ago. Now, took a pair of pants in the pile of clothes, turned them inside out and helped me. "Thank you. That's very kind of you."

"It's the same laundry machine that we had when I lived with my mum and dad. Dad used to buy all clothes and only bought all black clothes so we could wash everything at once… I did the laundry most of the time. I can help you with the laundry anytime."

I had to freeze for a second and go through what Annie had just said to me. Then felt myself questioning it at least ten times before Annie looked up at me in wondering why I had stopped all of a sudden.

"What?"

"Nothing." I started sorting out the reds from the dirty laundry again. "But you just doesn't exactly seem like the type of a kid that volunteers to help out with chores. But then of course… neither did Ryan when he came here."

The last thing I said more to myself than to Annie.

"I guess I haven't since… Well, since I… since my parents… my dad… since I haven't been living with my parents anymore I haven't really… I don't really know why. But… I don't know. I can help out if you want me to."

Throwing the last red shirt into the laundry machine Annie closed the lid and started pressing the right buttons. She even did it before I had the time to show her what was right. As if to really show me she could.

"Of course I want you to. I think it's great when the kids want to help out." I handed her a box of laundry detergent. "That's great."

I put my hands behind my back and watched Annie choose the right program, temperature and put the machine on. Then after she had and left the room I checked everything. I was always worried that it would be too warm so that I shrunk someone's favorite shirt or something. This seemed to be correct though and I was shaking my head in confusion when meeting Sandy right outside.

"Well…" I said on the way back to the kitchen. "I suppose I shouldn't complain. We got ourselves a helper doing the laundry. But…" I watched out the window outside which Annie now sat down on the garden, with her legs stretched in front of her, leaned over and touched her toes. "…It's got to mean something doesn't it. Everything… there has to be a reason why she's doing it… No nine year old helps out with laundry or any other chore without whining about it. Unless they're doing it for a reason. More reason than clothes are dirty and there's nothing else to wear. Doesn't it?"

"Hmm…" Sandy might or might not have heard what I said while he watched Annie change position without standing up. "Wow, the split. I think I'd break every bone in my body if I tried… Sorry, what did you say honey? A reason… well. I guess… But a lot of children like gymnastics don't they?"

 **Random fact**

It's actually not very rare that characters I make up can do things I can't. Not like having superpowers or anything. But it's happened quite a few times that my characters are running down the stairs (I'd probably die falling if I tried) and like in this chapter (yes, I can do the laundry) gymnastics.


	8. The little helper

**Guys, guys, guysguys. I have finally finished one of the stories I said would be finished soon.**

 **Although… I started a two-shot for Epilepsy awareness so I still have six stories left.**

 **Anyway…**

 **Thanks to Tif S and A. Serpico for reviewing.**

 **Chapter is told from Kirsten's pov.**

 _December the 29_ _th 2013_ _, the little helper_

"Here you go." Ryan went to do some shopping on the morning after Annie had asked for one. When he came back, among groceries and a book I knew he had been longing to read he held a rolled up, rainbow- patterned skipping rope. Annie took it but with a weird look on her face as she did.

"Geez. You couldn't find a more colorful one?" She asked ironically. But then stood up and walked out the door, ripping the carton piece that had held the piece rolled up and threw it on the floor next to her. Ryan took the book he had bought.

"Well, she could have thanked you at least."

"Don't worry about it." Ryan told me and then started unpacking the groceries he had gotten. "As you do know. We have to remember what we know about where she came from. She might never have learned any manners." He put the bread in the cupboard, then took the book in his hand and left to go into the living room and read. "Oh by the way. I talked to Adam today. He told me he and Sarah would like to come back on New Year's Eve and spend the New Year's Night with us. I said I'd check if that's okay with you."

"Of course." Sandy had answered before I had the chance. "The more the merrier." I got up from my seat and walked over to the window. "Well. At least the color of the rope didn't put down her skills." Sandy came over and wrapped his arms around my neck from behind me. We both watched as Annie- still holding onto the handles of the rope jumped, stood on her hands, and jumped again when moving back onto her feet.

She must have felt us watching her, because she stopped jumping and turned her head and saw us. She then shook her head and walked around the house to the back yard- where I and Sandy couldn't see her.

"I guess Casey must be happy now." Sandy said about the boy who had arrived here early in the morning. "He was quite impressed yesterday. And that was without the skipping rope." Sandy sighed and then rubbed my shoulders. "Don't you worry so much Kirsten. I'm sure this will all be fine somehow. Things always has a way with doing that. Just remember what happened with Ryan… My dear… sometimes I still see that nervous sixteen year old Sandy had dragged home with him… But he turned out nice. Didn't he?"

"Yes. But both you and Ryan have to remember that Annie isn't the same as him. With some differences quite obvious. She's younger, wilder, she hasn't… I was on my way to say she hasn't learnt but it's just that… I don't know what she hasn't learnt. I just know there's something."

"I think we all know there is something."

Sandy sighed. We could no longer see Annie, but none of us could bother moving from where we stood. And both of us flinched and jumped high with surprise when suddenly a loud shout rang through the house from upstairs.

"MUMMY, DADDY. There's a ghost knocking on my window. It's really scary."

At the end of the thunder of two six-year-olds running down the stairs in panic ended and Sophie-Rose and Casey came running into the kitchen. Both with eyes in fear wide open.

"A ghost?" Sandy questioned and both the kids nodded. "What window?"

"The one nearest the corner in the back."

I and Sandy exchanged a look, he was frowning but didn't look too distressed if you asked me. But then of course, we would have to go along in what our daughter and her best friend had experienced.

"Well. You two…" Sandy picked out each Christmas cookie from a cupboard while he blinked at me. "You two can stay here. And I and Kirsten will go and investigate the mystery about this gi… ehrm… ghost." He leaned closer to me and mumbled when we were out of the kitchen. "I bet you this "ghost" has a name beginning with an A. I can't wait to see how she did it though… Hey Annie."

Right by the corner there was a downpipe, the window to Sophie's room couldn't be seen from here but it was right at the other wall of the corner. It was just close enough for Annie to climb up the downpipe, reach and knock on the window. Then hide behind the wall when Sophie Rose and Casey came running to see what it was.

"Well that was my fun for today."

Without protesting Annie looked back to see what she had behind her and then jumped down in one move, wiped the dirt off her hands and for the millionth time during the past few days looked back at us as if we didn't get how stupid we were.

"So this is what a ghost looks like? Looks quite harmless if you ask me. But come on. We'll have to tell Sophie Rose and Casey how you did it before the story about the ghost who knocks on windows will go over the whole town."

Annie had taken the skipping rope that laid on the ground right nearby. Now gave a sigh and dropped it again and came after me and Sandy into the house.

"It wasn't a ghost Soph." Sandy laid his hand on Annie's shoulder but she tried to shake it off. "She looks quite alive if you ask me." Sophie Rose and Casey only looked questioning and confused. "She climbed up the downpipe and then hid behind the wall… Now, you guys can all go back to what you were doing."

"I have to go home." Casey said and he and Sophie Rose hugged hard as if they were saying their final goodbyes. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. But my mum wants me home when my grandma and grandpa comes over."

Casey left, Sophie Rose went to her room upstairs, Lord knows where Annie went. But I knew she didn't go outside and sat down in the kitchen with Sandy without speaking at first. Then as a while passed by I started realizing something.

Something that only a parent could found scaring.

"Isn't it a bit too quiet around here?"

Just as I had asked we could hear the laundry machine being turned on.

"We've got ourselves a little helper." Sandy smiled at me. "About time. I can't recall Seth helping out unless we were punishing him for something…" He tried to look angry but it was destroyed by laughing. "You shouldn't worry so much Kirsten. I told you, I'm sure this will be fine. And if it doesn't, then we'll take that when the moment comes. Okay?"

"I just have a strange feeling something is about to go wrong."

And no matter how much I tried to shove it away the following hour I just couldn't shake it off.

It could have stayed a little problem really. It was just a T-shirt. Well, it was just a T-shirt to anyone else, but apparently not to my daughter.

"Uh oh."

I could hear Annie in the laundry room, but I couldn't understand how anything went wrong at this point… This point was just about taking everything out of the machine and hanging it up to dry.

Although there was one thing that could have gone wrong at that point… I would know exactly what when Annie came out into the hallway holding a pink sheet of fabric…

Actually it was a T-shirt, and actually it was like three sizes smaller now than it had been an hour ago.

"What is that?" Before I could tell Annie it was okay- it was an honest mistake after all I could hear Sophie Rose's voice behind me. "Is that my shirt? It is. It is the Lady and the Tramp T-shirt Seth and Summer gave me for Christmas…" Sophie Rose looked from me to Annie for a second. Then ripped the shirt from Annie's hands. "You did it wrong and now my shirt is tiny and I can't wear it ever again. It was my favorite shirt. It was brand new and Seth and Summer gave it to me. Lady and the Tramp is my favorite movie and I loved that shirt. IT WAS MY FAVORITE AND I WISH YOU'D NEVER COME HERE. YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING. I HATE YOU."

With that Sophie Rose turned and ran out of the kitchen and straight into Annie's room. I and Sandy looked to each other for a split second then we both got up and followed her, with Annie right in front of us.

"What are you doing? Stop it, don't touch my things."

Sophie Rose was searching through the room and just as I and Sandy came in she grabbed the hoodie Annie had laid on the floor and specifically asked us not to touch. Sophie Rose ripped it away and uncovered some things, among them an empty CD case (probably once holding the CD Annie had been playing over and over again the other day) Two scarves and some more things I barely registered before Sophie Rose grabbed a framed photo from the things, then pushed her way past us and ran up the stairs towards her room.

"No. Give me that back." Annie ran after and I and Sandy quickly followed while Sophie Rose ran into her room. "Give me that back. It's mine."

Annie had stopped in the doorway, Sophie Rose stood on her desk and was working with the handle of the window. Obviously planning to break something of Annie's since Annie had shrunk her T- shirt.

"No. Please don't. Give me that back."

Annie didn't move a muscle except for talking. Something stopped her from and I would have guessed she was afraid that she would take the frame from Sophie Rose's hands she would only end up breaking it.

"NO. I'M NOT GETTING MY T-SHIRT BACK AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR PHOTO…" Sandy tried to step closer. Sophie Rose grabbed a few pencils from he desk table and threw on him- hard in anger. Sandy stepped back and rubbed his forehead.

"Sophie Rose Cohen. Please stop this. What happened was an accident…"

"NO." Sophie Rose finally got the window opened. "IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT. ANNIE'S DESTROYING EVERYTHING. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANNIE. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU."

"Soph." Sandy tried, I could see he was trying to seem calm but he couldn't hide the shiver in his voice when he tried to take a step forward and towards her. "Please. Just give me that photo, we'll get you another T-shirt. Of any kind, but you don't want to break anything that's so precious."

"I DON'T CARE."

With three last words Sophie Rose turned back to the window. Then, just as Sandy tried to catch her hand as she reached back she threw her arm and hand forward again and the photo frame slipped away from her hand….

"NO."

Annie didn't move from where she stood, she probably saw already that if she did it would prove useless. I could see the frame from where I stood, and as in slow motion it flew and span through the air, hit a tree and then fell straight down on the ground.

Right where the ground was harder from the tree's roots than on the grass.

Sophie Rose, pouting angrily turned back from the window, Annie was frozen where she stood and for a moment didn't say or show anything about what she was feeling.

Well, only for a moment.

"My mum gave me that."

Just as she'd finished speaking, which was done calmly she threw herself forward. Sandy caught her in the middle of the jump and Sophie Rose took a jump backwards. There was no doubt Annie was after hurting her.

"You." I turned to Sophie Rose realizing we couldn't hesitate right now. "Your ro…" I was about to tell her to go to her room then realized we were already there. "Kitchen. Now, and stay there…" She didn't look as if she wanted to do as she was told. But I sent her a stern look, and with the T-shirt still in her hand she stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen. "And you… calm down. There's nothing you can do about that now…"

"Let go off me."

Sandy seemed to hesitate, which gave Annie the chance to shove his arms off her and then, without a word she ran down the stairs. Sandy followed quickly, but Annie didn't go into the kitchen to go after our daughter- I could hear the door to her room slam hard after her so hard the whole house shook before I, slowly continued down the stairs after everybody and went into the garden to find the photo frame.

I didn't have to search at all. It was right where I had seen it fall so I just had to walk over and pick it up. The frame was of some kind of metal and gold- colored, with a gold butterfly in the corner. At least it had been in the corner, I could see the marks where it had been and found the butterfly right next to the frame itself.

I did have the time to think that maybe it was whole before I turned it. But as soon as I lifted and turned it I found the glass shattered into a thousand of pieces, some of them still stuck in the frame but most of them left on the ground.

I carefully picked up all the pieces, including the ones left in the frame. I lost count of how long it took me but after a bit there was no glass left and I went to throw it all away before I walked to Annie's room.

Expecting to finding her crying, or angry or whatever else, showing feelings like any other I was quite surprised. Annie only laid on her bed, on her side, her figure spoke all about how given up she felt. But from her eyes was nothing but emptiness and she didn't say anything or even look up when I came in.

As I took a few steps closer she moved, I had expected her to sit up and talk to me but instead she only turned on her other side without otherwise making any intention of showing she had noticed me coming inside.

I looked down on my hands again, the gold frame, now without a glass, and the small gold butterfly that had one hour ago been attached to the frame… Whatever could I do with this? However could I fix it?

"The photo's intact so we can get you a new frame. Or maybe we can fix this frame up a bit. Only the glass is damaged so we can pick the pieces away and it will be as good as new. The butterfly we can put on again with glue."

"You can throw it in the trash. I don't want it anymore."

I looked down on the frame and the smile on the young woman's face on the photo. She really did look happy. But Annie obviously didn't want to hear about it just now.

Yet I still couldn't throw it away like she had asked me too. And before I went into the kitchen where Sophie Rose and Sandy were I went to leave what was left of the frame in my and Sandy's bedroom- there would have to be something I could do about it.

In the kitchen sat Sophie Rose holding tightly onto the shirt and pouting- but now more sadly than angrily. Sandy stood a bit away, leaned back against the kitchen counter, not looking at any of us. But while he was all quiet I had a feeling thoughts were spinning in his mind.

I would have wanted to take the shirt from Sophie Rose and maybe come up with something else to do with it. But as soon as I walked into the kitchen I felt angrier than ever and suddenly didn't think Sophie Rose would deserve anyone pitying her.

"Annie wanted to hurt me mummy." Sophie Rose bit her lip and looked up at me with big puppy- eyes. "She would have if daddy hadn't stopped her. But you two wouldn't let her hurt me would you… She really tried though."

"That photo meant a lot to her. Annie's mum is dead and Annie might only have a handful of things from her."

"Well my T-shirt meant a lot to me."

" _Haven't we given you everything you ever wanted?"_

" _What Annie did was an accident. What you did was on purpose."_

" _You have loads of nice shirts and we both know that one would mean nothing in a week."_

" _We could have gotten you a new of those T-shirts. But you don't deserve it for what you did and you're not getting anything after what you did to Annie."_

I didn't say anything of the thoughts that passed by in my mind. None of it sounded fair to me. Especially when she looked up with those beautiful, blue eyes filled with tears and still holding tightly onto the now very much too-small- shirt.

"Go to your room."

"But…"

"I said…" My voice still sounded calm I couldn't help but notice. But I wasn't sure how long it would stay like that. "…go to your room. And stay there… Go to your room…" Sophie Rose still didn't move. "Now, if you please."

"But I didn't…"

"NOW."

I had barely ever shouted at my daughter even once in her six-years-old- life. Months passed within every time at least…

Now, with one short word my voice went louder and sterner, tears that had been rising in Sophie- Rose's came rolling down her cheeks while she came down from the chair she had been sitting on and then ran out of the room and I heard her footsteps and sobs continue as she ran up the stairs and then slammed her bedroom door after her.

Meanwhile Ryan came into the kitchen with a slight glance towards Sophie Rose, I sat down by the table and ran my fingers through my hair in distress.

"Did you already finish that book?" Sandy asked, finally saying something. Ryan shook his head, but with the bookmark he had in it I could see he had already read more than half of it. "Well, you must have been very concentrated on it. Because with us and…"

"I think I heard most of it… I just chose to stay out of it."

I could understand his choice…

Sometimes, and quite a lot during the last couple of days. I could still see that nervous sixteen year old that Sandy had brought home with him.

Those were the moments I couldn't understand how we had made it by without Ryan being a part of our family.

 **Random fact**

Annie and that skipping rope is inspired by the music video for the song "Rise up" by Yves Larock. Check it out. The song is awesome and I guess you'll see some of wat I have tried to describe Annie doing.


	9. The little girls

**Thanks to Tif S for reviewing.**

 _December the 29_ _th 2013_ _, the little girls_

Annie didn't move for the rest of the day, she didn't come for dinner or to come to talk to us. I went into her room and left some, figured she might want to be left alone and just left it on the bedside table. But when I came back a while later she hadn't touched it.

I glued the small butterfly onto the frame Sophie Rose had broken and took it back to Annie, meanwhile I glanced over the other things that had laid hidden on the floor. But Annie only turned her back against me and mumbled at me to throw it away.

Other things that laid on the floor were a wall ornament, a bunch of hoodies, a pair of canvas shoes, a number of scars and a jewelry box. In fear that Annie might throw it away herself and then regret it I took the frame with me and put it on my bedside table for the moment being.

"You don't have to tell me I'll meet them again one day and see my mum." Annie suddenly said when she saw me looking at the stuff. "Those things are mine now. I know death is the end. Despite what you said the other day."

I tried to remember- then remembered Annie's reaction to what I had said about Sophie Cohen's ghost.

"I would like to believe there would be something after death." I tried carefully. "Then maybe one day I could my mum again, and my dad of course too but he was like he was…" I hesitated for a second. "…And my Amy… Our Amy, my and Sandy's."

A part of me didn't want her to ask. That way I didn't have to explain. While another part of me told the other part I couldn't keep on running from it and what had happened had happened and I couldn't hide from it like I had.

"Who's Amy?"

She asked.

I swallowed and hesitated for a second, I had barely talked about her for more than fifteen years. Then realizing it was so long I didn't understand how time went by so fast and I felt myself choking before I was able to answer.

"I… I had a miscarriage once. Quite late during the pregnancy… Anyway, she had to be born anyway. And Seth had found out the name Amy meant beloved and that's what we named her. Because we really loved her like he said. We don't talk about her much… It just hurts too much."

We had a box with the things we had had the time to buy for Amy, a book and a shirt and a couple of other things. As long as we lived in Orange County the box with the things had been at the back at the top shelf in my and Sandy's closet.

Here in Berkeley, the first thing I had done when we came with all our stuff was to take the old shoebox and put it in a corner of the attic so there would be no way I'd lost it among a bunch of other boxes.

I hadn't lost it, I knew exactly where it was still. It was just that it was standing behind a whole lot of other, bigger boxes.

I just remembered this while I was talking to Annie and she was taking a while to answer me.

For some reason talking about Amy didn't send a punch right into my heart as it had used to. Maybe I should take a while and go up and get those stuff. Make a frame with it or something to hang up on the wall.

"If there's a heaven I don't think my dad is going there." Annie said so quietly I almost couldn't hear her and I returned to reality and now. "He was quite a terrible person. If it wasn't for him then my mum would still be alive."

That was it, she didn't say anything more right then and I probably knew that. I went up to the attic right away and got the things we had once gotten for our Amy. Then suddenly remembered that nor Ryan nor Sophie Rose had barely heard about her.

While there was moving in the house again. Annie still didn't move from where she laid, and Sophie Rose went back to her room after dinner and refused to talk to anyone.

Then she came down for her evening snack, and just acted normally again.

But after that she went back to her room…

There was actually nothing strange until I woke up from restless sleeping just before midnight, I needed the bathroom. Or I thought that was what had woken me up at first, but then when I got up and opened the door I could clearly hear light footsteps across the floor in the hallway and then a door- Annie's door opening from outside.

Maybe Annie had gotten up to get a snack or a glass of water. She could very well do that, but I just sort of froze and then I knew who it was having been up when I heard her voice.

"Annie?" I could only hear them but I was pretty sure Soph was standing right by her bed and shaking her shoulder to wake her up. "Annie? Wake up. I need to talk to you." I was about to step into the room and tell my daughter to go to her room. But something kept me from doing just that and meanwhile I heard the bed squeak when Annie must have moved.

"What?"

"I didn't mean what I said. I don't hate you. And I want you to stay."

"Fine. But now can you let me go back to sleep?"

"No. I needed to say I'm sorry."

"Fine. I get it. Now go away."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. Now go away."

Silence fell, over the room, over the hallway and over the whole house. Behind me Sandy was snoring slightly, then turned over on his bed and his breaths got quieter again.

"Can I sleep in here with you tonight?"

"No. Go away."

Once again it was quiet for a little while.

"But I can't sleep."

"Go to your parents' room then. You can't sleep in here."

"But I want to sleep in here with you." It was only quiet for a few seconds this time, but they seemed endless. "I can hear you screaming in the mornings Annie. You get nightmares- it's okay. But you get them every night, if you have more. Then I can help you and comfort you if I'm in here."

"Fine then."

Annie had obviously had enough of Soph's nagging and realized she couldn't do anything about it. Because her voice sounded given up and I could hear the bed's boards squeaking more when she sat up. Somehow I just knew that instead of Sophie Rose bringing her own quilt she crawled up next to Annie, and Annie lifted hers up so they could both use the same.

"I wish you could stay here. And then my mum and dad could be your mum and dad. And Seth and Ryan could be your brother's too. And we could be real sisters. Then you could stay here forever and ever."

"It's not that simple Sophie Rose."

"I wish it was."

Then it was quiet. All quiet, none of the girls started talking again but I was kind of surprised I couldn't hear both of their thoughts out loud. Then, after a few moments I had forgotten what I got up for and only went back and crawled back into my bed next to Sandy.

It was then it hit me that no one had told Annie this house would be temporary placement for her. That she'd probably be out by the second of January when Douglas came back to work… I looked to the clock that was drawing close to midnight, it was too late now.

It would just have to wait until in the morning, we wouldn't forget again would we?

No, of course we'd be able to tell her. She must accept it would she? It wasn't like she hadn't been through moving from one foster home to another many times by now so I guess this one would be just one in line.

I pretended I hadn't just been thinking what I had.

I just pretended that it wasn't a terrible thing how Annie was being sent from one home to another. That it wasn't terrible how she woke up screaming from nightmares about God knows what or how she wanted to push everyone away.

How it wasn't terrible that she said if there was a heaven her dad wouldn't be able to go there. That if he hadn't been there then her mum would still be.

I suppose it all made sense.

But I just pretended it didn't.

And when I went to go to sleep I didn't tell Sandy about what I had heard Sophie Rose saying.

 **Amy and the miscarriage Kirsten had is in one of my O. C.- oneshots called "The always and always and always."**

 **Random fact**

I made a Polyvore edit with Annie's stuff. And I've downloaded all of those. I'll go now and put the edit on my Fanfiction- Instagram "Linneagbfanfiction"


	10. The tired and hungry

**Hey! Guess what? I finished another one of those stories I told you about. I now finished one called "stranger defended" and even though I found it quite boring and slow to write I wanted to finish it and I think it ended up quite nicely. So that's one story less to worry about and more time for the stories that are left.**

 **With this chapter it returns to Sandy's POV.**

 **As I'm writing this I yet haven't started the chapter. I'm not sure what this chapter will be about. There is a chance it will only be a boring filler. But then, we're going to reach New Year's Eve and things will start happening again all until the end of the story.**

 _Monday, December the 30_ _th 2013 The tired and hungry_

On the Monday, not quite a week after Christmas Eve when Annie had arrived with us. For the first time in several days I and Kirsten weren't woken up early in the morning at Annie screaming from night terrors.

Instead, when she and Sophie Rose came up for breakfast. Annie looked so tired it seemed maybe she hadn't slept at all.

"I and Annie are friends again now."

Sophie Rose announced the newest happily, Annie just looked tired and didn't comment it while she sat down next to Ryan and then barely nibbled on a piece of toast with butter and a glass of orange juice.

"Aren't we Annie? We're friends again. You're not angry anymore and I am not neither."

"Mhm."

Annie, with her toast weakly in one hand sat with an elbow on the table and her head leaned heavily in her hand. Sophie Rose frowned at her, but then turned to her own breakfast and I couldn't help to feel a gust of worry.

It really did look like Annie must not have slept at all last night? Could it have something to do with that picture and frame Sophie Rose had broken?

"You can go back to bed and sleep some more. You don't look like you had any sleep at all." Annie shrugged but didn't look at me. And I decided to give her some space and turned towards Ryan instead. "When will Adam and Sarah come around, Ryan? Will they be coming today?" Ryan shook his head. "They were coming for New Year's were they?"

"Yeah. They'll be coming here about lunch time tomorrow."

"Daddy? Do you still have that photo frame of Annie's that I dropped yesterday?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Don't even try it young lady. You know very well what you did. I think your mum still has it."

"I don't care about that stupid frame. I told you to throw it away."

After just a few, small bites Annie dropped the toast on the table, and heavily- every move slow and stiff stood up, walked out of the room and out of my sight. I could hear her in the hallway, through it and into the living room but right then Seth and Summer came around and without even asking I left my seat for Summer and got the crackers and ginger ale.

"Do you mind me sitting here with you?" Kirsten too came around in the kitchen and I went into the living room where I had heard Annie gone in. And there she was, curled up in the chair she had barely left during the past few days and I sat down in the nearest sofa as close to her as possible. "You seem very tired… did you sleep alright?" I reached out and felt her forehead- but she didn't feel warm. "You can sleep there you know." I tried to tell her when she obviously once again forced her eyes open. "You don't have to fight so hard to stay awake. Let go and just have a nap. That's nothing to be ashamed of. I do that often when I get tired and then I can be alert for the rest of the day."

"But I'm not tired."

Annie was clearly lying, and once again her eyelids seemed heavy as they fell over and covered her dark eyes. But I didn't talk to her anymore, and not two minutes later I heard her breaths slowing down as she fell asleep lying across her favorite chair.

"Didn't I just hear her say she wasn't tired?"

On the other end of the room Ryan, Seth and Soph sat down and started playing a game of cards. I just shook my head at Seth's comment and signed at them to keep silent.

"Where are mum and Summer by the way?" Sophie Rose questioned. "They didn't go shopping again, did they? Not without me. Because they said I could come with them if they were going again."

I just shrugged, I knew Summer wanted to know as much as possible about the future of her pregnancy and becoming a mother. So even though they were only down the road in Seth and Summer's house it would probably be for the best if we left them two alone. Soph pouted, but didn't protest when she turned back to her two brothers and they continued their game.

A few times nearest the couple of hours I looked up from my paper work, I kept doing it since I just wanted it done so I could get on with my holidays. But if Annie had had nightmares sleeping during the night, maybe this was the time to finally get to help her before she was all awake and ready to say she was all fine.

"No… dad, no. Stop that."

It wasn't somehow because I thought she needed a sitter, but because I didn't have much to do anyway. And if this was the chance we'd get… maybe if she had nightmares sleeping during the day too.

I just wanted to reach her somehow, and maybe keeping close while she slept could help me.

"No… no. Dad stop that."

And an hour and a half after she fell asleep came the answer.

And then, all of a sudden Annie started mumbling to herself. Or to herself- obviously to her dad, but that didn't exist here more than inside her head and her dreams.

"No… no stop that."

"Annie." I put away the book I'd been reading, leaned over and stroke her forehead and hair. "It's okay. You're safe here."

"No…." She pushed away my hand. And I suddenly noticed how quiet it had gone in this room despite my children all on the other side of the room. "NO dad…"

Seth must have read my thoughts more or less because while I tried to care for Annie I saw in the corner of my eye how he stood up and told Ryan and Sophie Rose something and they all left the room while I breathed a sigh in relief and tried to memorize to thank Seth later.

"No, no."

Annie turned where she laid and if more I was afraid she'd fall down. The chair wasn't high but where she laid she seemed so little and fragile.

"Annie…" I stroke her hair once again. But once again she pushed my hand away without waking up. "It's okay. You're safe here."

"No…"

The panicking tone was louder than the words themselves.

"Sch, sch, sch. It's okay…"

I just felt so helpless.

"Mummy?... Mummy? AAAAH."

Annie shot up, and I shot forward when I saw what was happening. But not quickly enough as Annie half jumped half fell out of the chair and landed with a loud thud on the floor right next to the chair.

For a moment, while I kneeled next to her she looked at me, and with a panicked speed in her breaths in confusion looked around the room before she remembered where she was and who I was.

"It's okay." I tried to calm with my hand held out but with a gasp she threw herself backwards. "Oh… It's okay." I lowered my hand again. "I wasn't going to hit you. I just wanted to check if you're okay. You fell down from that chair… You've been asleep for a couple of hours. But you were so tired before, none of us wanted to wake you up."

"I'm fine." Annie mumbled drowsily, but got up and sat back down leaned back in the arm chair. I sat back in the couch and couldn't even notice that I was staring at her. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry…" I looked away and quickly thought of something to think about. "So… Tomorrow's New Year's Eve? The last day of the year. Wow, time is really rushing by isn't it? We usually plan for what food to have and stuff for tomorrow but it's been so much happening the last few days we've forgotten all about it? Maybe you'd want to help me?"

Annie only watched back at me while I tried to think of something and swore mentally to myself. I wanted so bad to help her and reach through. Make her interested in and excited about something- Lord would know she'd never seemed to have anything like that before.

"Do you drink? On New Year's Eve I mean?"

The question was so sudden I barely even understood it at first. Then it sunk in, Annie was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Alcohol you mean?" She nodded. "Well… Kirsten doesn't drink at all, at any day of the year. Summer can't neither since she's pregnant of course. I, Seth or Ryan can have a drink or two but…"

The look on her face was undeniable.

"It's just that… it's nothing really."

"Annie?" I laid a hand on her shoulder but she shook it off. "Would it make you uncomfortable if we're drinking? Because it's not so important that we have to do it." She didn't answer, but I still saw the look in her eyes. "You know what? I think we can make this year and just decide that there will be no alcohol involved. Okay?"

She still didn't answer, but her shoulders seemed to lower in a slightly more relaxed position at the moment I said that there would be no alcohol involved.

"And even if we do drink we never drink so much we…"

"What are we going to eat?"

Obviously she didn't want to talk more about the drinks. But I could still remember the look from only a few seconds ago of insecurity when she had brought it up. And no way was I putting her through that on purpose.

"Ehrm… I don't know. We haven't planned yet. But no fast food for once. For the dinner on New Year's Night it's about the only time ever we all get together and spend time. Without TV, without computers, without music. Just all of us. Where we lived before there were always parties for every single day from Christmas Eve until the middle of January or so. But we sort of like our current traditions better… As long as Kirsten isn't the one in charge over cooking. Then we'd all get food poisoning." I gave a short laugh but Annie only raised an eyebrow at me annoyed. "Hold on… I'll just go get something."

My family and I had collected all the books of recipes we had ever bought in a kitchen cupboard, there were twenty or more of them with tries of us ever being able to cook for our own family. And then we had just put them there, only using them since we moved to Berkeley and no long went on parties during New Year's.

It was only I and Annie home now, but we could find some recipes and ask the others about it when they came back…

"And since we turn our electronics off to spend time together, when I came back into the living room I had with me a pile of books with recipes. "We find something in these we want to try… Now, of course we need to check with Kirsten and the others what they want but we could start. We need one dish for starters, one main dish, and then a dessert… Is there anything in particular of food you like or not?"

Annie took it one of the books and didn't answer at first, I took another but still watched her in the corner of my eye. Tense and listening in case she would do like before and suddenly ask or say anything a long while after I had asked.

And wasn't I right that she would?

"I don't really like eating meat a lot." Just as I had been able to concentrate on the recipes Annie said something and I looked up again. "Well. I do like it, but at the same time I don't really. Someone at school or something asked me if I should become a vegetarian but I don't know really. It's not like I had much choice of what to eat when I lived with my parents… I'm not sure I could change what I liked and didn't. But I do know I like seafood and shrimp and fish and stuff like that…"

This felt like one of the first things Annie had said to me at all. It was only about food but it felt like it meant something more.

"How about this one? It looks simple. We wouldn't even have to cook it. Only mix these two sauces and then put it in wine glasses or something with each other and shrimp. Even Kirsten or Sophie Rose could do it."

She leaned over and showed me with shrimp and two kinds of cold sauces in schnapps glasses. And agreeing with her- it did look so simple even Kirsten could do it.

"That's for starters then…" Annie put the book opened down on the floor and took a book with desserts. "Oh. Maybe this one… if we… no… chicken."

"I don't mind like chicken or turkey or something like that. It's just stuff like sausages, meatballs, mince, bacon, things like that makes me want to vomit."

"Well then." I turned back to the page I had been on before. "If you don't mind me asking. Was those the things you used to eat when you lived with your parents?"

I held my breath when Annie hesitated to answer. Maybe if I could get her to say something about something as simple as the food she had grown up with. Maybe that could be a start of getting her to open up.

"Yeah… And spaghettiO's, lunchables, McDonald's… Stuff like that… I don't think I had a home cooked meal a single time. Ever. And I was always hungry. No matter what I ate I was never fu…"

Annie suddenly gasped in the middle of a word. As she was just realizing she had actually said anything.

I had listened closely to every word, trying to find anything that might help us help her. But I didn't want to pressure her into anything so when she didn't continue speaking but went back to riffling in the book she had I didn't ask anything else but turned back to mine and tried both to find a recipe and to go through what she had just told me.

"Have you ever tried risotto?" I tried while I skimmed through the ingredients of the recipe I had found. "There is a recipe here with rice, chicken, garlic and mushroom. Do you like mushroom? I know some people don't."

"I've never tried risotto. I heard about it and saw it. It sort of looks good but I've never had the chance to taste it… Mushroom I don't know neither. My dad didn't like it so no one ever bought it back at ho… well. Where I used to live."

 _You can call it home. It's where you grew up so it's always going to be home more than anything else._

I didn't say what I was thinking, reminding myself about how little I knew about Annie and her history.

"Never tasted coconut or mango."

"What?"

"There's a recipe here and I thought it seemed good. But it's got coconut and mango in it and I've never tasted that… But it's got pear too. And I like pear."

"Let me see…" I leaned closer. "Cobbler? Hmm… I never tried that but that too looks simple enough." I read through the recipe. "So that's shrimp cocktail, chicken risotto with mushroom and garlic. And cobbler…"

"What's cobbler?"

"A sort of pie. And cobbler with coconut pear and mango. Also no alcohol… sounds like the best New Year's dinner if you ask me. Especially if we can get Sarah Jensen to make more of those chocolate biscuits. Should we go over to Seth's and Summer's and ask the others about the recipes we've found?" Annie nodded barely noticeable. "Then you and I can go shopping for the things right afterwards. But no stealing this time. If you want something just ask for it okay?"

With the ashamed look on her face I regretted I had brought that last up at the same moment it had passed from my lips. And it wasn't like I and Kirsten and the others had done everything right poor thing. Having grown up with the worse kinds of fast food and then ending up here.

Maybe this was a sign we needed to get better of cooking by ourselves instead of ordering food several times a week.

 **Random fact**

I don't know why it matters so much what they should eat and I even looked some recipes up. Maybe it's just because I like food so much. And food also meant something in the series with Sandy and his bagels and Kirsten not being able to cook and such things so… I guess we'll have to deal with it this way. Some of it at least is going to make sense later into the story quite soon.

Oh, and by the way- I love mushroom. But like Sandy says, I do know there are some people out there who just can't stand it.

 **Sandy, his siblings and mum, Kirsten and Seth did a similar New Year's dinner in my AU- story the search for a family. I wonder if the dinner in this will be an as big fiasco as in that story. (The soup had been way too salty, the steak was burned, potato boiled for quite a bit too long. But the dessert was okay) or better… or maybe even worse… I know but you don't. I can't wait to show you.**


	11. The runner

**Hey guys. I finished another story. Well not exactly. I planned all along I'll put up the second and last chapter of "Fire in my brain makes fire in our hearts" December the first. So I haven't put it up but it is finished YAY.**

 **And I have also started a new story "facepalm" it's for good witch. And it's called "A candle in a dark corner" It's written for Liver cancer awareness. Go read it if you want to. I think this story is turning out as something good.**

 **This chapter is told from Sandy's pov and I think the rest of the story will be too.**

 _Tuesday the 31th December, The runner_

"We also need ice cream. To eat with that pie… But that's the last."

Kirsten hadn't exactly approved to me bringing Annie with me for the shopping after she had attempted to steal on Thursday.

But I just had a feeling I had gotten somewhere with trying to have Annie opening up and telling us. Or someone at all about what terrible things she had been through. And I wasn't giving up now.

But right now. I wasn't letting her out of my sight for as much as a second. If she wanted to steal something it wouldn't help much but at least I'd probably see it and stop her before we got to the doors. And maybe she wouldn't if she had something to do- right now reading from the shopping list for us not to forget about anything we needed for tonight's dinner.

"I need to pay but… you can go there and… I don't know. Look at what they've got. But don't run away will you?"

Every store at the mall had put up stuff they hadn't been able to sell behind the payment desks, the place at the supermarket where there were most people and with major sales. Now there wasn't a reason for Annie to stick to my side- I could do this myself. So she gave a nod, pushed the shopping list down her pocket and went to check what they had…

"Here." When I had packed the things we had bought I gave her one of the plastic bags. Knowing she was right by my side I didn't get what I had worried about, that she might runaway before I was finished? "Is it too heavy for you?"

"I'm stronger than I look like."

I was about to say something. Gave a short laugh but then couldn't figure what to say when I saw Annie was looking at something in the hundreds of shelves and hangers that were standing around the place. And hoping she wouldn't notice me I followed the way she was looking to a backpack. It could have been hard, but it was made quite simple with it being the only one left in the hanger. And Annie didn't take her eyes off it.

"Is it that backpack you're looking at? Do you like it?"

Annie didn't answer, I looked it over. It wasn't much more than a regular Helly- Hansen- backpack. It was something for school or every- day- life. The bottom half in green and a bit more than the upper half and the shoulder straps in white. But Annie was simply staring at it and I had a feeling about what the answer would be- proven wrong when she shook her head.

"I already have a backpack."

"Well…" I thought back to the night she had arrived and tried to remember it. "…Yeah. But flowers aren't exactly your style, are they?" She shrugged. "You can tell me. Do you like it? Do you want it? I can buy it for you."

I knew I might be nagging her. But it just felt like if I made her say "Yes." And do it calmly and politely- then I'd have taken a step forward. Taken a step for her to become another normal kid- maybe she never could be… But I could always help her to feel close and know that we'd have her back no matter what.

"Yes please."

YES!

"Alright. Thank you for saying it so nicely. Here. Can you take two bags with groceries?" She nodded and I gave her one and then took the backpack and went to pay for it. "Wait here for a second."

 _So what if she had just done this to get something she wanted and was going to make a run for it as soon as she had the backpack in her hand?_

I looked back while the card reader took a moment to get my money and Annie was still standing at the exact same spot I had left her and I shook my head slightly at my head.

 _What on earth was it that Doug had talked about when he came to leave Annie at ours? That she was a runner?_

 _She would have been getting a lot of chance to run from us since she came but she hadn't done it a single time. Although, maybe if I looked away for just a second too much she'd be disappeared when I looked back again._

She wasn't. While I unlocked the car and put the grocery bags into the back she watched, and then got into the shotgun seat with the empty backpack on her lap.

"Don't tell Kirsten I let you ride in the front okay?" I asked her with a smirk. "You're not supposed to do that yet." I pointed to the small sign where there was a sign of an air bag and what could happen if someone too short sat in the front seat. "Oh well… you're on the verge. We can use Sophie Rose's car seat if we're going to do it again. I think you're about the same height as her."

"She's six… I'm nine."

I didn't answer to that, only smiled slightly- but in distress. Was Annie short because her parents had been? Or was it something else? Such as malnutrition during the first years of her still short life.

"Some people are short… some are tall. That's just the way it is. And that's not the only thing that tells you and Soph apart isn't it?"

"Do you mean on our looks." In the corner of my eye I could see Annie pulling her fingers through her long, dark hair. "Or do you mean in person?"

"Both of it… all of it." I tried to find some good, wise way to finish it. "You know. Every single person, you, me, Soph, Ryan, Seth and so on and so on. We are all pieces of millions and millions of cells. And some of what we are come from what we become from our parents. Half of mum and half of dad's. And then some other from what we go through in life, how people we meet change us or things we go through. We face new challenges every day and they change us. And there aren't two people in this whole wide world who are the exact same as the other one."

Annie didn't answer, in the corner of my eye I could see her watching me still while I had to focus on the road.

"Can I stay here outside?" She asked while we made our way through the driveway towards the house. "Oh… Well. I'll help you carry the bags first. Then, can I go outside."

That was the billionth time I thought how Doug had told me that Annie was a runner. That if we didn't keep our eyes on her she'd make a runner the first chance she got. And then I remembered her telling that at the last foster home she had been at before us, had burned most of her things.

I just couldn't understand why she had done such things before she came to us. Or why she had stopped in the same moment as she stepped over the threshold of our house.

"Yes of course. Please stay where we can see you from the kitchen window. But as long as you do, you don't have to ask. You're as free to go in and out all you want. Thank you." That last was said when she put two bags on the kitchen table. "I'll put the groceries where they're supposed to go. You can go out into the garden." Annie nodded and then left just as there was a knock on the door and I heard Annie let them in. "Hey you guys." Adam and Sarah came into the kitchen soon.

"We didn't know if Annie maybe wasn't supposed to let us in just like that. But…" Sarah didn't quite find the words but held up the Lady and Tramp cookie jar she'd gotten from Ryan and Sophie Rose for kitchen. "I brought cookies."

"And that is a hidden password to get into this house." Ryan must have heard Adam and Sarah came and I heard his footsteps as well as Kirsten's coming moving towards the kitchen. "I and Annie sorted out some recipes for tonight. One starter, one main and one dessert. And one thing you have to know here. For most of the night we're in our pyjamas's. No one here could bother to wear our nicest through the whole night. So after we moved from Orange County and here and with no New Year's parties or anything. We don't change clothes until before the deserts. Oh. And I spoke to Annie a bit yesterday. And we… I sort of decided that there will be no alcohol involved during today's dinner. Only mentioned it was quite obviously making her uncomfortable. And if you ask me- for everyone here feeling alright is more important than whatever drink. And I think you all agree with me on that point."

There were a couple of nods and yes's. None of my family seemed to care much for the lack of alcohol during the dinner tonight and I could easily understand why already before Kirsten explained… Well didn't explain. But of course I knew the rest of the story.

"I don't drink anyway."

"Me neither." Adam said with a joking smirk. "Not once. In my whole life… well. There was that time… But I thought it was pear juice."

"And I have never seen anyone else grimace while heaving and spitting like that. And I can have a glass or two some Friday night when it feels right. But I never drink during holidays."

"My dad did."

I hadn't noticed, but Annie had left the garden and was now standing in the doorway. She must have only been outside for a few minutes.

"Your dad did what?" Kirsten asked a bit carefully. "Drink on New Year's Eve?"

"If he did!" Annie snorted. "He drank all day, every day."

I suddenly noticed Annie had sort of hidden her hand. She held it closed into her fist and almost covered it fully behind her leg as if she held something that was secret- but she wasn't holding onto anything.

"What's up with your hand?" I had a pretty good idea of what it might be. "Here. Let me see."

"I just scraped it a bit." Annie said insecurely. "It's not too bad. I just have to wait until it stops bleeding and then I'll wash it." I held out my hands, she glared at me but held her own hand forward and laid it in mine- ouch!

"Come on…" I showed her to come after me. "…I'll help you wash it. It needs to be done right away or it might get infected." I showed her into the bathroom, put the washing plug in and then turned the water on running while I got the hand sanitizer out of a cupboard.

It wasn't until I turned again then I noticed Annie had gone pale as a sheet and was supported towards the wall.

"Oh dear. Come here." I lifted her up without asking and then put her down to sit by the sink. "Are you okay? No. Here. Look at me instead of the wound." She turned away from the wound but looked to the side. "Are you gonna get sick? Do you need a bucket?" It was barely noticeable but Annie shook her head. "I'm going to take a guess that you don't exactly like blood."

"There…" Annie didn't even whisper- it was barely more than a breath. "There was a lot of blood the night my parents died."

My stomach clenched. A father that's drinking, a lot of blood, foster home...

I had known Annie's parents were dead for quite a few days now. But I just couldn't figure how and I didn't think Annie was about to tell me anytime soon. She had just turned up in our house so quickly there had been no chance to ask about it from Doug or the social services. But while it might have helped, I would have wanted Annie to tell me herself. And herself choosing what I would know and not before anything else.

"Now." When the sink was full I turned the water off. "This is going to sting. But the hand sanitizer will kill off any bacteria that's gotten into the wound. Here." I didn't want to force her, but she needed to keep still when it started hurting so I grabbed her wrist and then pushed her hand down into the water.

Dirt and blood started coloring the water. But Annie didn't move an inch or show at all that she was ever going to move from the spot she sat.

"Just stay like that." I started searching through the cupboards in search for plasters. Then decided to talk about New- Year's- Traditions to have something nicer to talk about. "You know. For the starters and main course we're always in pyjamas. Then it's for the desert we dress in nicer clothes usually. Then by midnight they're usually full of stains from the dessert and full of crumbles from crisps and mystery stains. But we do like it like that. Earlier years we always used to go to New Year's parties… But I like these traditions better…"

"You do have a lot of details for New Year's traditions." Annie said and pulled her hand out of the water while I found the softest towel in the cupboards and handed it to her. "When I was with my parents it was the same most holidays were the same actually. Mum and dad would be knocked out before ten some time. Then I'd watch the TV until midnight- or at least until I fell asleep on the couch. But on New Year's Eve I always made sure I made it until midnight."

"Here." I held up the plasters and she held up her hand. "Well. I can promise you that as long as you're here the holidays will be more than that. I'm guessing those ways have been for as long as you can remember?" She nodded. "I guess every family has their different ways…"

I barely even knew what I was saying. In my mind was the same sentence spinning over and over in my mind.

" _There was a lot of blood the night my parents died."_

Before I lifted Annie down from the counter she sat on I almost expected to see that scene start playing in her brown eyes.

But I didn't. Such things only happened on TV. But with only knowing short parts about her story all of it sent shivers down my spine.

Oh Annie, Annie, Annie. Can you talk to me and tell me how to help you, how to save you from everything you've been through.

"There." I lifted her down again. "All finished. Keep that clean and dry and it will heal in no time."

"I'll go out into the garden again."

Annie didn't let wait for it. When I came into the kitchen again I could see through the window she had took up the skipping rope again. Either practicing jumps where she only needed to jump, or others were she only needed to use one hand- the one that wasn't hurt.

Something changed during the dinner that afternoon. The first thing I noticed was that Annie ate her meal at a normal pace and without throwing food into her mouth all at once like she had so far. I couldn't keep my eyes on her all night. But there was one moment- maybe even a half when I would have liked to.

It was when Adam pulled a random kind of joke he had heard somewhere. A bad kind, the kind that are only funny because they're not. But several of the others laughed- especially Sophie Rose who screamed of laughter.

Annie didn't. She didn't laugh out loud at all. But she did smile, only a little bit. Only a little bit that spread all the way into her eyes and lip up her whole self. If I would have had a camera and captured that moment only…

"I heard you talking with Annie when she hurt her hand earlier today." Kirsten started when we stood in our bedroom both changing into the clothes we had put out before. "And I was wondering. Did you tell her she's moving this weekend? Or was it at the start of next week?"

"I? I thought you were going to tell her that? You're the one that has been going into her room to talk to her you know."

Kirsten took a moment to think about that. Then just as I turned to her and saw she had obviously realized I was right about that. But she wasn't so sure what to say next.

"Maybe Doug told her before he took her here though." I tried to assure her. "If not. We can tell her together. But tomorrow. Not now. Right now we can all have a good time through the dessert and the rest of dinner."

I glanced at Kirsten but she had turned back to her preppy clothes. I knew that I wanted Annie to stay. That I didn't want to send her to yet another foster home where it was harder and harder for her to trust anyone at all for every place she was sent.

Although of course, I couldn't make a decision like that without Kirsten, and the rest of my family being a part of that.

But Kirsten hadn't wanted Ryan to stay from the beginning neither.

But that was before Dawn showed up.

"Come on." We both stayed silent for a couple of minutes before we all had changed our clothes. "Let's not think about that right now. We can have a great time and eat the very nice dessert I, Seth and Annie made and just have a good night."

"Mummy…" Sophie Rose suddenly came running. "Daddy… Come on. It's time for desert. The best part of dinner." Apparently- changing into her favorite dress and hair cuff had made her even more hyper. "Come on." She took her mum by the hands and upstairs we could hear Ryan coming out from the bathroom. "Come on. Come on."

"Can you go get Annie?" I asked with a smirk pulling a blazer on. "And then come into the kitchen."

"But I just looked for Annie." Suddenly my daughter didn't seem as hyper anymore. "She wasn't in her room, she wasn't in the kitchen, she wasn't in the living room. Where is she?"

I froze, so did Kirsten. We only looked to each other for a moment- was there a chance Annie could have heard the conversation we had just had?

"ANNIE?"

I hurried out of our room calling out for her.

"ANNIE?"

I could hear Kirsten coming after me and hurrying up the stairs continuing to shout. But Sophie Rose was right- Annie wasn't anywhere to find on the ground floor and I could only hope for Kirsten or Ryan to find her upstairs or in the attic.

"I'll go check outside." I heard Sophie Rose at the same moment as I heard Seth and Summer come in. "Have you seen Annie?"

"No…" Seth checked the door. "But why was the door open?"

My stomach clenched. I was absolutely sure I had checked it was closed properly earlier. Then I hurried after Sophie Rose into the garden and ran into the back yard.

"ANNIE? WHERE ARE YOU?"

After no more than seconds we were together in the kitchen again. Having searched through the whole house including the garden and the attic.

"The dress I lent her was lying in the hallway." Sophie Rose held it up. "But why would she just throw it there? It was lying right outside your bedroom too…"

Was there a risk…

No, no please not…

I could only imagine what Annie must be feeling if she had heard Kirsten and I talking about the fact that she couldn't stay.

"Her bag is still here if that means something…"

That thought was what had me freezing as of ice.

"Kirsten… by… bag. Do you mean the backpack… the one she came here with the one with the flowers?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I bought her another one when we were out today." I quickly looked through the hallway and Annie's room. "And that one's gone. She's out somewhere…"

"Do you think she ran away? Why would she do that? You and mum are the best parents ever and I told her that."

For another few moments I was frozen as ice. Then I quickly laid up a plan of how we needed to do this.

"Seth. You take your car and go that way…" I showed him. "Take Summer with you. Turn the calling Bluetooth on out loud in the car so we can talk to each other. Ryan, you go that way. Take Adam with you. You too turn the Bluetooth on. We need to be able to let the others know right away if we find her. And I…"

"I WANT TO COME TOO."

I had planned for Kirsten to come with me and Sarah and Sophie Rose staying behind.

But the way Sophie Rose was looking at me…

"Okay. Soph. Get your booster seat from mum's car and put it in the shotgun seat at the front in mine. Kirsten, you and Sarah stay behind and call me as soon as possible if Annie comes back her. And you… I and Soph will meet you by the bridge in two hours. If we haven't find her by that and she's gone across it we'll call the police. Has everyone got their instructions right?"

I didn't wait for answers from everyone. I quickly grabbed my phone and car keys and then helped Sophie Rose with her booster car seat before we as quickly as I dared drive backed out of our driveway and down the street while I kept one eye on the road while also turning the Bluetooth on.

Well I have never been as grateful for anything as for todays' cars' technique as I was right then.

"Seth? Summer? Are you there?"

"Yep."

"Ryan? Adam?"

"Here."

"Can you all hear each other too?"

I heard the other's voices as in a dream, as on the other side of a wall. My whole concentration was on the road and gazing over the whole pavements and the yards. For every time I turned around a corner I expected to see Annie. Running and with her new backpack bumping towards her back and her dark hair flying in the wind.

For most of the time we were silent and concentration was on searching. But every now and then a few words were exchanged. More from the ones in the shotgun seats- Sophie Rose, Summer and Adam than from the actual drivers which was understandable. This whole thing felt just a little bit safer knowing I, Seth and Ryan kept steady on the road for the nearest two hours that passed by.

Time went both too fast and too slow, but it was at the end of those two hours that we finally found her and no police was needed.

"Dad. Dad." Sophie Rose suddenly tugged my sleeve as if I hadn't already heard her. "THERE SHE IS." I heard in the loud Bluetooth that both Seth and Summer and Ryan and Adam had heard us too. "But why is she on the bridge?" I swallowed hard when I saw her myself. "But why is she sitting on the edge like that? You're not supposed to sit like that. One move wrong and she would fall. And this bridge is so high…"

"Ryan…" I said and tried to ignore the growing feeling of panic inside of me. "Seth. Get yourself here as quick as possible. Adam and Summer go in Seth's car. Take Soph with you and go straight home. Go to Seth and Summer's house but tell Kirsten to stay behind. You, Ryan. You stay with me. Has everyone got it?"

"Dad…" Seth hesitated. "…Where exactly is here?"

"We're by the bridge." Sophie Rose shouted before I'd had the time to answer. "Annie's sitting on the railing. She might fall… Can't I go out and talk to her? I can tell her she needs to come down and onto this side."

"NO." Before Sophie Rose had reached for the car door I laid a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back. "Sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you. Look! I'm going to go out and try to talk to her. Seth and Ryan are on their way. When they come here then you can get out of here and into Seth's car so he can drive you all home."

Before waiting for an answer from my daughter I unbuckled my own belt and got out of the car. Then slowly walked around it and up towards the bridge.

At least she hasn't moved towards the middle of the bridge or in any other way moved further away than where I could be absolutely sure she would hear me.

If she fell or jumped it wouldn't make much difference though. The water right under was deep and streamed. Being in it she wouldn't be able to swim- if she knew how to at all. And would straight away be sucked under by the stream.

"Annie." I said carefully, afraid to scare her so she fell. "I'm going to make Sophie Rose leave… Can you please, just stay where you are? And then we'll talk when we do not have to have an audience? Just. Don't move. Please."

For a second I was going to ask if she had heard what I and Kirsten had talked about earlier. But it was quite obvious she had and reminding her of that would most likely be the worst idea in all of this.

"Don't move. Okay? I just need to talk to you."

Annie didn't move and didn't make any intention that she had heard me at all. I glanced over her, up and down, she really sat on the railing and not turned to the road where she'd only fall and get up again on the asphalt. One move wrong now and she'd fall right in front of the streaming water down under. And there was a risk that one move could be wrong. She sat on the thin top- part of the railing with her soles towards the metal sticks between the railing and the road. She held each hand wrapped so tightly around the railing her knuckles were shining white…

…It felt like a thousand years ago I had bought her the backpack that laid on the asphalt behind her, and the wind was blowing so over and over her long, dark hair blew into her face.

"Annie…" I tried again, then could hear the cars pulling up when Seth and Summer pulled up and then Ryan and Adam. "I'll be right back okay? Don't move…" I walked backwards at first. Annie didn't move an inch. Still I was afraid that she'd jump in the same moment I had turned around. Everybody came out of their cars, Seth too showed his little sister to come out and I quickly took charge again.

"Seth. Drive home. Go to your house- all of you. But ask Kirsten to stay behind. Adam, Summer, Sophie Rose. You go with Seth now, okay?"

"But I need to talk to Ann…"

"You can do that later. You go with Seth now, you too Adam and Summer. And once again, all of you- and your mum, Adam, go to Seth and Summer's. Ask Kirsten to stay behind and that I'll be there when… as soon as I can? Once again, has everyone got it?"

I had no idea how many of these instructions I had already given voer the phone earlier. But maybe it was this time only I could make them all listen. Sophie Rose pouted but didn't protest anymore and there were spread yes's and nods. While they all got into Seth's car and drove away I turned towards Annie where she sat on the railing of the bridge.

"Stay here Ryan. I'll let you know if I need you."

I didn't even know why I had asked Ryan out of all to stay. Or asked him to stay where he was, when I turned I could see in the corner of my eye and hear him following me. And not before I was nearing and could easily make myself heard to the Latina nine year old sitting on the railing I said anything at all. Even though I still didn't know what on earth I would.

"Annie?"

She turned and looked around and raised her hand. I froze in my steps and didn't move a muscle even before she had said anything at all.

"IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER I'LL JUMP."

 **Posting picture of Annie's backpack and Sophie Rose's dress on Instagram "Linneagbfanfiction"**

 **Random fact**

I'm not sure if everybody's seen that Bluetooth thing used to talk to people on the phone so everyone in the car can hear it. But it is real, my dad uses it and then the people sitting in the rest of the car can hear it perfectly well and answer too.

I also don't know if there's a bridge like that in Berkeley but if not then let's pretend it is.


	12. The little orphan Annie

**Where are the ones that have reviewed this before? This is chapter twelve and there are no reviews since chapter eight… Well. I'm not going to be nagging for reviews but it would be nice if** anyone **at all let me know what they think about my story.**

 **Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. I finished another story. This time I finished one called "Unpretty hurts" and now the ones almost finished that are left are this one. "How far I'll go" and "Dancing in the rain". And it's getting me closer and closer to the ones I said I was going to finish soon. And also one called "Break broke broken trust" is almost finished.**

 **Here's the chapter.**

 _December 31t 2013- January first 2014, little orphan Annie_

"IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER I'LL JUMP."

There was a fire burning in Annie's brown eyes that was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was… It was as if she was trying to look furious, and she was obviously- but more than anything heartbroken.

"Annie." I took a step back but tried to talk to her. "Come on… Come over on this side. We can talk about this."

"TALK?" She half shouted half spat. "LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST WEEK. TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED AND YET NEVER ONCE TELLING ME THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT ME AROUND. JUST WAITING UNTIL I THOUGHT YOU DID AND THEN LET ME FIND OUT ABOUT IT MYSELF. IS THAT TALKING ENOUGH FOR YOU?"

"Annie…"

What was I supposed to say when a hurt nine- year- old sat on the edge of a bridge ready to jump?

"Annie…" Before I found anything I heard Ryan next to me. "Don't… Don't jump. Okay? If… If there's no one else then you can move straight from Kirsten and Sandy and into my house. I'll let you stay with me. Okay?"

"NO." She shouted back. "YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. YOU DON'T WANT ME AND YOU DON'T WANT ME AND YOU DON'T…"

While trying to turn to both me and Ryan at the same time she slipped off the railing. She accidentally lost her grip and then she fell.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, I switched in between believing we'd have the time and not.

While both I and Ryan shot forward we just seemed like we were a little, tiny bit too far away. I knew it was just way too late. That we were too late to save her, maybe it had been too late for quite some time.

Then I felt my fingers wrapping around Annie's T- shirt. And in the very last moment I caught her before she was too far away to catch.

"AAAAH."

The scream that echoed in between the cars and the river and the houses and the bridge was like nothing I had ever heard before. It was so full of agony it shot straight into my heart and broke it.

"It's okay." I tried, still Annie wasn't safe. I didn't dare moving an inch but Ryan came up to me too and reached himself. "Annie? Annie… Listen to me." In her panicked state she couldn't hear a word I said.

Although maybe if…

 _For you, there'll be no more crying_

Just like that, the song Annie had been playing repeatedly a couple of days ago flashed by in my mind and before I had the time to hesitate I started singing.

And it worked, at the moment I had started singing Annie just sort of calmed down. By the end of the line she wasn't calm, and she hadn't moved an inch. But she did hear what I was saying at least and that while I kept singing, Ryan was standing by my side and trying to talk to her.

"Give me your hand… no. Your other hand. Here… here…. YES."

After what felt like a thousand years Ryan got a grip and could pull her up, and therefore I could also get one grip and together we lifted her over the railing and onto the pavement.

"There we go." Ryan let go of her when she was over on the safe side. I couldn't, and before she was safely on her own two feet her knees buckled under her and she fell. While mpy far this time, only until I had the time to catch her with wrapping my arms around her.

"It's okay." I tried- even though I didn't even believe it myself. "It's okay. You're safe now…"

Taking a step back at last, Annie blinked and shook her head as if she was waking up. Then she looked up at me, at Ryan, back to me, to Ryan, and then at last towards me again before she leaned down and took her backpack from the ground.

"I guess we'll go back so I can get my things then."

As on a given signal, it was right then- quite a bit away from Annie but looking as it was right behind a big round of firework went up right behind her, each one of them flashing in bright colors with each bang. The same it did everywhere by both sides of the river and behind us and before us and everywhere.

It must be midnight.

Annie had clearly gone distressed, she looked tense, she held her breath and her hands were so clenched her knuckles had turned white.

"I guess… we must have a talk before we decide about everything. But we won't be forcing you out tonight… come on." Annie didn't move. "Come on now… Let's go back home."

"You're just like everybody else. You don't want me. And if you do then something is going to turn up and you don't anymore. And then you're going to tell my social worker about it, and then I'm going to be sent away. And you're going to hope I end up somewhere better. But then in a while you're going to have forgotten all about me. Isn't that the way it always goes?"

Shouldn't she had been crying?

She wasn't, nowhere near it. She was sternly staring towards me and looking as tense as ever.

I felt like crying, but I couldn't. Not right now.

"Come on. Let's go back and then let's talk in the morning. Inside and not here, in the middle of the night…"

Annie just glared at me, but then thankfully she took a step and walked down the bridge towards our cars, still tense at the noise of fireworks.

For some reason it didn't hit me right then that a fear of loud noises may be about more than them being just that- loud.

We drove home during silence, I hadn't turned the Bluetooth off. But with only Ryan left there it didn't feel like we should say something except for when Ryan let us know he'd go straight to Seth's house. I answered we were going back home and I hoped Kirsten still would be there…

I and Annie didn't mind talking going into the house, she went into the bathroom and locked the door after her and I went into the kitchen where Kirsten sat with a coffee cup.

"Hey." I said dryly. "Did the others…"

"Seth and Sophie Rose already told me what happened…" Kirsten interrupted. "And I… I don't know what I could say about it really. None of what we could ever do would be good enough to help her."

How could I not know that she was right?

But I knew something else too. I knew what it had felt seeing Annie on that bridge, I knew what it had felt like when she fell. I knew what it felt like now when I just didn't know…

"Look. Kirsten… Well, first. She ran away because she heard us talking earlier. She's angry and hurt because we couldn't look her in the eyes and tell her about it. And that she wasn't told that… that…"

I couldn't even say it myself.

"I heard Annie and Sophie Rose talking the other night." Kirsten said without turning towards me. "I know… Sophie Rose is just a kid. But…. She was telling Annie that she wished Annie could stay here… Forever and ever. And we could be her family… And well, kids are kids but… I… The way Sophie Rose said that just haunts me. I wasn't going to tell you about it because… I'm just not ready… I don't want to bring another kid into this house…"

And there was the answer I had known would come but still dreaded.

I tried to think of something, anything that could help right now. Tried to see fact instead of theory…

"When she was sitting on that bridge Ryan promised her that if we don't let her stay here then he's going to take her in. But as you know, even if Ryan doesn't break a promise. It's going to take a while for him to get all of that sorted out. She would have to stay somewhere during that time and… I will not just send her away and hope for the best."

Kirsten didn't say anything- like in the way she would when she knew she was wrong but didn't want to admit it. Lock herself in and not come out.

Except there were no locked doors now.

There was only truth, and it had to come out.

"I want her to stay Kirsten… I want her to be a part of our family and I want us to be a part of our… But I'm not going to do anything if you're not okay with it. And all I'm asking you is that… at least… I don't even know… Maybe you can go back and remember that… a number of years ago you would never have let Ryan stay just like that."

Kirsten didn't answer as first, neither of us looked to the other and words didn't seem right in any way.

"I need to think about it…" Kirsten said at last. "This isn't a decision made in the blink of an eye and you know it. And I also think we should talk to the rest of the family… the both of us- all at once. Without Annie eavesdropping…"

At last she looked at me and gave me a meaning look- like she had eavesdropped earlier today and made it all much, much worse.

"Can you pack a bag or something? All of you, spend the night at Seth's and Summer's. I'll stay here with Annie. She… We both, need some peace and quiet and… I have a feeling about tonight… I don't know what it means but…" I heard the door to the bathroom open and close. "I'm not going to give her the chance of eavesdropping again. Hey Annie." She suddenly came into the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

"No…"

The kitchen had been cleaned after I and the others have left. So when Annie had left for her room and Kirsten and the rest had gone for Seth and Summer's house I was bored. Then left with my own thoughts that kept on haunting me.

What if Annie had jumped before we'd found her?

What if I and Ryan hadn't had the time to catch her?

What if she'd slipped out of her hands?

She was just nine years old. She couldn't have ended just yet. But what if she had.

I looked into her room for what meant to be just a second. I thought she'd be asleep. So when I found her sitting up, on the floor with her things spread out on the floor in front of her I frowned and couldn't help but open the door more and go inside.

"Are you okay?" I went to kneel by her. "What are all these things? Do you want to tell me about them?"

There was one jewelry box, a pair of sneakers, one wall ornament, two scarves, one CD case, her broken frame with the photo Sophie Rose had thrown out her window, and then several hoodies with the same butterfly- prints.

"My mum liked butterflies. These were all her things. Or things she got for me…." She took the CD case. "This is the CD I played over and over the other day. I'm sorry… I know you were annoyed by it…" She laid it down on the floor again and slightly touched one of the white hoodies. "She liked this one and she thought it would suit me. Even the smallest size was too big. But she said I would outgrow it so she got me one each size so maybe at least the biggest one will always suit me…. I've never worn them. White get stains so easily…"

I wanted to say to her she didn't have to tell me this. Because her words were hoarse and forced, as if every noise was harder than I could imagine. But I was afraid I' d interrupt her in the middle of something she was finally speaking out loud.

"I didn't have much time when I left my old house… But I did collect those sneakers, that ornament and those scarves. The other things are mine but… I didn't want them…" She held up the photo slightly. "When my mum first found out she was pregnant, she was happy. And this photo was shot when she was… my dad wasn't though. At least he wasn't when he found out I was a girl and not the boy he had always wanted… But the photo was already shot and the baby was already born… I was… It had been better if they'd just gotten rid of me right away. It had been better if he had gotten rid of us and kicked us out. That would have been better than how it ended…"

Annie left me with more questions than answers when she stood up, laid down on her bed and pulled the quilt up to her chin with one hand while reaching for her stuffed The Tramp with the other.

Meanwhile I hadn't even thought about moving at all.

"I was hoping that playing that song repeatedly would make things go away." At last I stood up, took the desk chair that stood to my side and pulled it with me to sit down right next to Annie. "But it didn't. It came back… Nothing's ever going to change is it?" Questioning she looked up at me and I had to think for a while to think for a while to know what to answer.

"I don't know quite what you mean Annie." I said at last. "But something I do know is that things usually get better. Especially during those times we don't think they should."

I just wished there was some chance I could help her.

Then for several more minutes it was quiet.

"Do you want me to go? Leave you alone so you can sleep?"

Annie didn't say anything, I was just about to ask or say anything else when suddenly she opened her mouth and started talking. Quietly as first, barely more than a whisper, then louder and louder as she went.

"I and mum had just come back to our house after I finished school… We were talking about running away, we always did. He heard us. Mum told me to hide… I always hid. There was shouting… Then there was a bang- the loudest noise I've ever heard, it was quiet for a moment and then there was another bang. I wanted to run away but I didn't. I didn't get out of there. He started shouting. Come out, come out Annie. You know you can't hide from me…"

My stomach clenched when I couldn't quite figure what or who Annie was talking about. Maybe I knew already I just didn't want to face it…

"He must have known where I was hiding. I always hid behind the couch when they were fighting. I was sure he would but even though he kept pacing back and forth over the living room floor he didn't come anywhere near the couch. I could hear him stop and when I peeked just a little I saw there was a lot of blood, my mum was lying on the floor and she wasn't moving anymore. There were pools of blood under her breasts, and under her head. In her hair and on her clothes… Then I hid again because dad was turning around."

I could have screamed out loud from hearing this story. The story of one… a child I'd only known for a few days. Yet already cared for so much. More than most other things in this world. As much as for Sophie Rose, Seth or Ryan…

"Then we heard sirens… apparently the neighbors had heard the gunshots and called for them… I hid… I was once again expecting dad to come around the sofa and kill me too… But he didn't. But the sirens only came closer and closer. And when I heard footsteps outside I was… I thought I might get help… That's when another shot rang out. But it didn't sound quite the same this time."

I didn't know how Annie was still breathing and talking. I wasn't telling this kind of story and I had to hide it well not to interrupt. I could have screamed out loud like I never had before…

And I was supposed to be the adult in this room.

"He had put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger… Then that was it. Little orphan Annie."

Little orphan Annie… well this was no musical, it was harsh reality.

"The police came into the room. I could hear them talking outside to our neighbors. I could hear my name… I could hear them questioning whether I was dead too. I could hear them making sure my mum was. I could hear them saying that my dad had… blown… blown up his head- literally. That there was nothing left… But I just couldn't. I just couldn't get out of there and show them I was alive. It was like if something told me that if I didn't move it might still not be real."

It went quiet again.

I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear anything more now. This was so much worse than I could have ever imagined.

But I had to stay strong. I had to stay strong for Annie even though not for myself.

"It was real…" Annie's voice suddenly started shivering. "…It was real. I knew it all along. Every bottle my dad drank from, every pill my mum swallowed… I think they did it because they didn't want it to be real. They didn't want to be as broken as they were…. But they were… and here I am. And I'm real and…"

She suddenly started crying, hugging the stuffed The tramp that Sophie Rose had given her to her tears were streaming down her face and into its soft fabric fur. Towards the sheets her whole body was shivering and I on the other hand… I was frozen and still.

"And it is real. Every night I dream about it… every night they're dying again. Every night it's my fault."

Tears were faster and faster rolling down Annie's cheeks and onto the pillow. Not by sobbing, but from head to toe she was shaking and the rest was in that quiet, heartbreaking way that I never knew what to do about.

"I… It happens that adults have… Problems Annie. Some of them are easy to solve… some of them, like yours are harder and terrible... And children often blame themselves but… they and you are only children. And there was nothing you could have done about what happened to your parents… it wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. I could have told someone."

"Your parents still made their own decisions. For better and for worse… None of it was your fault and now… now is there anything I can do for you?"

It was quiet for a few minutes, I didn't want to move and leave Annie alone. And she just kept crying, then she talked… but maybe that wasn't the right word. It wasn't even a whisper, only barely more than a breath.

"Can you just hold me? Please?"

"I can…" I carefully pushed my arms in, one under her back and one under her knees. "Come here."

It wasn't a comfortable position for me, and it could impossibly have been comfortable for her neither. But when she had her face pressed into my shirt the sobs came. Sobs messed with screams that would echo in my ears for the rest of my life- so what didn't it speak about for her.

"Sch. Sch…" As good as I could I tried to stroke her dark hair. "It's okay… try and breathe now… it's okay… You're safe here."

 _At least safe from anything that wasn't already in her head._

I didn't say anything more after that. How was I supposed to say this was alright when it clearly wasn't?

I thought for a second about Kirsten, Seth and Ryan and the others… had they go to bed? Were they sleeping or telling ghost stories? Maybe Adam and Sophie Rose were sleeping and Seth, Kirsten, Ryan and Sarah talking about memories while joking and saying they had stopped aging about twenty years ago….

Annie fell asleep at last, crying herself to sleep on my lap I still didn't dare moving.

Despite all the thoughts in my head and the uncomfortable position I leaned back and drifted off I too…

But haunted by memories of Annie on that bridge.

Knowing still what I was seeing was still nowhere near as terrible as what Annie saw every morning as she started to wake up.

… _Every night they're dying again…_

 **Song: Songbird- Glee cast cover (originally by Fleetwood mac)**

 **Yes, the song was random and unrealistic. But I had the idea and I just had to go with it.**

 **Random fact**

When I started this story I knew Annie's story would be based on a song. And I had a couple of guesses about different Christmas songs. But the actual song it's based on isn't a Christmas song. But one called "The little girl" by John Michael Montgomery. Check it out, it's a great song.

The third and last verse isn't included in this story. As I didn't want to bring in religion in this.

 **Happy holidays. See you next year**


	13. The important decision

**Thanks to Tif S and Spinnerroxz16 for reviewing.**

 **It's only this chapter and the epilogue left now of the story. I hope you'll all be happy with the end.**

 _January first 2014, the family_

"Sandy." I started waking up when someone shook my shoulder. "Sandy… Sandy… Annie's got a temperature."

"What?" Drowsily I looked up, Kirsten and Sophie Rose had come from Seth and Summer's. Hadn't they been there just a second ago? I glanced to the bedside clock- it was past nine in the morning. "What? What did you say?"

"Mum was trying to lift Annie over to her bed to then wake you up. So you wouldn't drop her. But then she felt Annie's forehead and she said Annie's really warm." Annie was asleep, and as memories of the night and everything she had told me came flooding back. "I don't think she's having any nightmares right now."

"No… maybe she isn't." I carefully laid Annie down on her bed, she stirred but didn't wake up as I felt her forehead. "Geez. She's burning up." I rubbed my eyes tiredly and hesitated about what to do next. Annie… Annie…" I tried to shake her, then lifted my hand from her shoulder. "And she's soaking in sweat. Sophie Rose, can you get a wet cloth- like those I and your mum will put towards your forehead when you're ill." Sophie Rose nodded and ran out of the room. "Kirsten- can you go and get something else for her to wear? Take some of my T- shirts. They will do for now. And then… Hey honey." Annie stirred again, then lifted her hand and rubbed her eyes before she slowly sat up. "How are you feeling?"

Terrible most likely.

I didn't dare moving an inch, from where I sat I could see Annie's hair was glued to her forehead with sweat, the sweatpants and T- shirt she'd been wearing for almost twenty four hours were soaking and she just looked so… so…

Up until tonight when she had finally told someone- told me what had happened with her parents she had been able to hold herself together. Now when it had all fallen apart she wasn't able to anymore and…

"Whoa."

I flinched when Annie suddenly started moving. More than moving. Suddenly, just out of nowhere she lurched forward and then threw up right on my shirt. Then, before I had the time to react or she had the time to catch her breath she did it again.

And then, still lurched forward but once again not moving she looked up at me.

"I'm sorry…" She almost whispered. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. I didn't mean to.." She gagged again and I had the time to slightly move to the side even though she could bring up nothing more. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. And I won't." I heard Kirsten and Sophie Rose coming up behind me. "Neither will Kirsten. Are you finished?" Annie hesitated, then nodded. "Can Kirsten help you clean up? Then while you do so I can clean up myself and change the sheets here?" Annie hesitated again, then nodded again. "Look. Annie. We need to talk for a bit as a family, I'm going to ask Sarah to come here while we do it so you don't have to be alone. But then it might take a while. None of us have abandoned you, and none of us will kick you out. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Annie nodded again. "Good girl. Now, get yourself cleaned up. Okay?" Annie nodded, Kirsten put down the T- shirts she had gotten and I nodded to her in gratefulness while I and Sophie Rose left the room.

"Is she ill? Is it contagious? So I will get it too?"

"No. I don't think so…" I rubbed her shoulder. "She's just been upset about a lot of things. And sometimes when people are upset about a lot of things then it upsets their whole body- maybe they get a temperature, or they have an upset stomach, or they get really tired or so on. Tell you what…" I kneeled in the hallway next to my daughter. "Can you find your own way back to Seth's house. And then when you're there, can you ask Sarah to come back here so she can help me a little?" Sophie Rose nodded. "One, two, three, go."

"Wait."

Instead of going to the door right away she ran up the stairs and to her room. I sighed and went to change my clothes, then get a glass of water that I put on the bedside table before I started pulling off the sheets and went to take them to the basement and laundry room.

"Here." I jumped high and dropped everything when Sophie Rose was suddenly right by my side again, then looked down and saw a stuffed Lady that she had been given for Christmas. "I gave Annie The Tramp. But it's just not right with only half of them. I have a lot of stuffed animals- and even other things with Lady and the Tramp… And I want Annie to have these."

"I'll give it to her." I picked up the sheets again. "Can you put it on the bedside table. And do you remember what I asked you to do?"

"Yeah. Go and get Sarah."

Sophie Rose got moving again and soon I heard our front door open and close. A couple of minutes later when I was finishing with putting clean sheets on the bed, I heard it again and Sarah shouted.

"I'm here." I hurried into the hallway. "I'm guessing Sophie Rose talked to you."

"She just said you needed my help actually. Nothing about what it was." I grimaced a bit and scratched the back of my head. "Don't worry. You don't have to tell me. I'll stay with Annie and there's no rush back. I'll call if something unexpected happen. Ryan and Adam's got my number. Or should I rather ask Adam to come here?" I scratched my head again. "You look like you've had a bit too much on your mind lately and I think you do… You don't have to decide now. But if he's in the way then just send him here or tell him to go outside. You don't have to act nicely…" A slight smile appeared on Sarah's lips.

Behind me I could hear the bathroom door open, then Kirsten and Annie came out into the hallway. Annie now carrying a small pile of the clothe she'd been wearing before and I turned.

"Here. I'll take those." I took the laundry. "Sophie Rose wanted to give you the stuffed Lady that she got for Christmas, it's on the bedside table. Sarah will be staying with you right now. We're just going to Seth's and… we'll be back soon."

"I'm not a baby. I don't need a baby sitter."

Annie was just mumbling and without looking at me. When I came back from the cellar Annie was in her room with the door closed and Sarah sat by the kitchen table.

"If there's anything you like in the fridge or anything then just take it." I gestured to Kirsten to wait for me. "If it's something we were planning to use then we'll just buy new ones. Ehrm…"

"Go. I can do this. It's not rocket science to be here for a nine-year-old girl if she needs me. And it's not like she's in diapers or need watching twenty-four seven. I'll do alright…"

"Not a doubt."

I turned and then hurried with Kirsten. Somehow I managed to mumble to wait until we were gathered with our kid and Summer. Then why I was in such a hurry I didn't know. One more minute of Sarah keeping an eye on Annie wasn't going to hurt.

"Hey…" The first person I saw when I came inside was Adam. "Ryan's wondering if I should stay here with the rest of you or if I can stay… something's telling me you're going to talk about… things that would give me nightmares… Or something like that."

I showed a grimace, then held my head high again when Sophie Rose came running into the hallway and hugged me tight.

"I guess so… And… I think we only need to be with family now- more for Annie's sake than mine. You can find your way back to our house?" Adam nodded. "Great."

I sighed and patted his shoulder slightly when he made his way through the hallway and outside. And then turned to walk into the kitchen where I found the rest of my family sitting around the table and I sat down in between Kirsten and Ryan before I had almost figured what to say and how to start.

Within a few seconds I had realized I didn't know what to say anyway, drew a deep breath and then started at a point that felt right as it could.

"When I and Annie came home tonight Annie started telling me what her life was like with her parents and when… she told me about another night… the night when they died and how they died. Then where she was at the moment and…"

Silence fell around the table when I'd still only been using a few sentences. What was I going to say next.

Well. I was relieved when Kirsten was the one who broke the silence.

"Is it so bad?"

I shook my head. How on earth was I going to express myself? This wasn't my story to tell.

"Worse. So much worse."

I didn't exactly enjoy comparing one child's story to another's. But Annie's story just was something else…

"But… We already knew. And especially after last night and on that bridge…" Kirsten was getting nervous I could tell while she wiped he sweat of her palms on her pants. "…She needs more help than what we can give her. From professionals…"

"Yes." I gave a slight nod and interrupted Kirsten. "And she needs somewhere to come home between those times. She needs a family. She needs someone who cares for her and doesn't give up on her. And I care for her… And I want… I need… I'd love it if she could stay with us and… but I'm not going to call my friend… Doug without hearing what is on all of yours mind…"

I bit my lip and silent. Then looked around the table and hoped that with my sheer look could make the others speak.

"I want her to stay…" Sophie Rose said to start it off. "…I always wanted a sister and I really like her already."

Silence filled the room again, Sophie Rose had spoken her mind so left was Kirsten, Ryan, Seth and Summer.

"I do know you took me in when I needed you the most…" Ryan mumbled. "…I couldn't take that away from anyone else. And I care for her too. If she can't stay with you then I'll sort things out with the social services and make sure she can move in with me. But that would mean a whole lot of paper work and check- ups before I can have any child living with me. And I think Annie is a whole lot more fragile than what she lets us know… I think that process only would hurt her."

And that Ryan was right about that last we all knew, Kirsten too even if she might not want to admit it, and I knew she didn't.

"I agree with Ryan." Seth was the first one to admit it out loud. "She's a lot more fragile than what she lets us know. And I don't want to hurt her either. Or crush her as if she had been pieces of a glass figure. And yes, she does need help- more than what we can give her… But I want to be there… want her to know that she's not alone… I think she needs that and I need somewhere to start… We need somewhere to start."

That was Seth, Ryan and Sophie- Rose having answered. And if they wouldn't have agreed to it then I wouldn't have a single chance with Kirsten.

"I know I might not have a say in this," Summer started, Seth was about to protest- Summer was just as important in this as him or me. "I know. But the thing is… She's only nine years old. And she's been through so much… and from the moment I saw her it was like… she's just so precious. And so fragile and I just want to wrap her up in a blanket and make sure nothing hurts her ever again."

"I feel like that too." Seth had his arm around Summer's shoulders. "And let's not forget she gave little Sawyer his or her name… It wouldn't be fair if we just broke contact with her and… I know it's not important but I really want to show… her or him to Annie and show that there is still good in this world and babies that haven't been hurt yet. And I too think that if so, then Annie would be the best auntie ever."

Silence fell again, heavy and thick. There was only one person who hadn't made her voice heard. And Kirsten was the one who'd been against this the most. Both this time and with Ryan.

"Mum." Sophie Rose tugged her shirt and begged. "You have to… You have to."

"I don't have to do anything." Kirsten pushed Sophie Rose's arm away and flew up onto her feet. "I have to think… I'm going outside and none of you follow me." Kirsten stomped out of the room and soon we heard the front door to the house slam while we could all hear Sophie Rose sniveling.

"Does mum hate me now?"

"No." Ryan sat closer to Sophie Rose than what I did and laid his arm around her shoulders. "She's just frustrated. But actually- you have no idea how much this whole story reminds me of when I first came here and Seth."

"But you have been here forever. Even since I was born. Haven't you?"

"Come on. You know I didn't come to your parents until I was a teenager. I have an other mum and another dad. Uncle Frank is my dad- Cooper is my half brother." Sophie Rose nodded, maybe she'd understand this better when she was older. "And Kirsten didn't quite want me in their house until it was my mum who asked her to take care of me."

Annie looked thoughtful, for several more seconds she didn't say anything.

Then for a moment I thought back to who Ryan had been when I first met him. How many times hadn't I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't gotten his case to work on? If I hadn't given him my card? If A. J. hadn't been together with Dawn at the time?

So many things could have gone differently.

And now he were with another kid…

"But if they can't care for her. Then why can't Annie's parents be here and tell us to take care of her."

I closed my eyes for just a second. And hoped to whatever higher power that Soph wouldn't ask what had happened to them. "Annie's parents are dead. And they both, her dad mainly- did… some terrible things… And Annie didn't know anyone else so there was nobody to take care of her when they died. That's why she's in foster care."

"But there is someone who cares for her…" Tears were glimmering in Sophie Rose's eyes. "I do."

I was about to agree, the others too. But as on a given signal we heard the front door to the house open and close and Kirsten's slow and heavy steps lead back towards the kitchen until she stood in the doorway.

If I could have I would have gotten up and forced her to speak the one and only answer we all wanted. But knowing I couldn't hurt her for anything in the world (in difference from Annie's dad) I was frozen with Sophie Rose in my lap and was so nervous I could feel my heart beating in my ears.

Every second was moving by so slowly…

"I think you're all right. We're a whole family that can help out. Annie's just a child that needs help… And upon it all you would never forgive me and I could never forgive myself if I stayed proud and refused to say something else…"

Kirsten made a pause, the whole house seemed to stand still when she looked around and I could almost hear the possible scenarios spinning around in her mind. And when Sophie Rose was about to say something I showed her to be quiet. Her mother needed this silence now to say what we were all waiting for…

"I thought I wouldn't be. But I have never been so sure that I'm making the right decision as I am now."

 **Dun, dun, dunnnnnn. Cliffhanger.**

 **Yes I know Frank isn't actually Sophie Rose's uncle. But I figured she might call him that.**

 **Random fact**

I guess that talk about if Annie should stay or not happened a bit too easily and unrealistic. But I tried to stay just somewhat realistic and some time will pass in between this chapter and the epilogue. So…. See you then.


	14. The happy birthday

**Thanks to Tif S for reviewing.**

 **In this ending chapter Annie is referred to as Latin American. Her cla is Baby Kaely- I don't know if she actually is Latin American or if she's got some other ethnicity or skin color. But I don't want to change the celebrity look alike's now and them for her parents are (Adam Rodriguez and Naya Rivera) So I hope everybody's okay with it if I'm wrong.**

 _June the 24_ _th_ _2014, The happy birthday_

It was exactly six months since Annie had come to live with us, it was six months since Seth and Summer had told us about little Sawyer. It was the day Sawyer was due to be born and it was also Annie's tenth birthday.

"Are you excited?"

I, Kirsten, Ryan, Sophie Rose and Annie were walking through the hallways of Berkeley memorial hospital towards the maternity ward. But it was just so quiet I had to ask something and looked down on my daughter.

"More excited than ever before." Sophie Rose held her breath when we walked through the door that had "maternity ward" written on it- and as we'd heard it Summer and Seth had room number sixteen.

"Well hello." Already before we could go see them we met Dr. Neil Roberts- Summer's dad sitting in the hallway. "No, don't go in yet. I would have myself but they asked me to just stay outside so they could be on their own, away from both nurses, doctors and family members for a few minutes before their life together starts for real."

We were lucky the whole hallway was filled with chairs for waiting family members. We could still sit in a group even though there were a total of six of us.

Annie could never sit still for very long, but when she did turn a cartwheel and then stood on her hands in the middle of that hospital hallway I should have told her not to do it. That this place was too crowded or too narrow to do that kind of things.

"When she came to ours she was just breathing…" Sophie Rose said all of a sudden and when I looked to my side I could see her watching Annie with her head leaned slightly to the side. "…Nowadays she's alive…" She looked up at me. "…Isn't she?"

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

"Sophie…" I patted her shoulder. "Can you go sit next to Ryan. I think there's a very special birthday gift we will have to give to Annie before we meet little Sawyer, Seth and Summer."

The name Sawyer had stuck from Christmas. No way was it changing now.

I looked to my other side where Kirsten sat and she too nodded at me to start.

"Hey. Annie?" The Latina turned to me when I called her name. "Can you come and sit here?" I patted on the seat next to me. Annie jokingly rolled her eyes at me but with quick steps came sitting down next to me. "Look, we've been talking for a bit. I and Kirsten, Seth and Summer, Sophie Rose and Summer… And we think…"

I paused, Annie's eyes had just sort of lit up for a moment. But when I paused the light disappeared again and she spoke before I had had the time to find the right words.

"You're going to kick me out now are you?"

"Actually no…" I said and just a tiny bit of hope sparkled in Annie's eyes again. "…We have talked. I have also talked to Doug- your social worker. And apparently he had planned this all along… And we think that you could officially be a part of our family- and if you want that. Then I and Kirsten could adopt you. And Ryan and Sophie Rose and Seth and Summer and Sawyer too of course. But I and Kirsten would be your legal guardians and yeah…. Yeah."

It felt as if I had spent every minute since Christmas Eve of asking Annie if she wanted this.

And right now every second felt as long as the time that had passed while we all held our breaths waiting for Annie to say something at all.

"Hello guys."

I wasn't the only one who jumped when suddenly the silence- thick enough to cut through with a knife when the door to sixteen opened and Seth came out

"Do you want to come and meet your little grandson or nephew."

Ryan sighed slightly. I knew he wanted nothing else than the Sawyer that came along- boy or girl. But he and Sophie Rose had bet on it and now he pulled up a bill from his pocket and handed it to his younger sister while we walked into the room and I couldn't help for my heart to beat so hard it was as if it was beating right out of my chest.

"Hey everyone." Summer smiled tiredly from where she sat on the hospital bed with the baby in her arms. "Come meet Sawyer." I could see Summer glance and smirk towards me and her dad. "Sawyer Neil Sanford Cohen."

And there my heart beat faster than ever- a baby with my name as middle name… Well both of his grandfathers' names but still. And looking to Seth and Summer and Sawyer my heart could have jumped right out of my chest in pride.

"Mine came first." Neil said all of a sudden. "That means my name is better than yours."

"Mine came last, and people will actually hear it instead of hearing your name that is just sort of hidden in the middle."

Neil pouted like a little child and couldn't argue against that. On the other side of the room Seth had taken Sawyer from his mother's arms and just stood shaking his head at us.

"Are you two going to be fighting about names the whole day? Or are you now going to start fighting about who should get to hold him first?"

"It should be me." Neil almost shouted. "Since my name was the first one in his middle name."

"Nuh- uh." I quickly thought of arguments against him. "It should be me, because Seth's holding Sawyer now and Seth is my son and will therefore let me hold him first. Will you Seth?"

Seth only shook his head- he seemed to quite enjoy this as he only watched along with the others with my and Neil Roberts' friendly play- fighting.

"Annie should be first."

Sophie Rose's voice sounded louder than both mine and Neil's, I hesitated for a minute.

"They have the same birthday now. Don't they? So it only makes sense." ¨

I looked down and to my side, Annie had frozen while the rest of us nodded and agreed- as well as the two, proud parents and Annie took a step back shaking her head.

"Don't you want to?" Seth asked. "What's wrong?" Annie half squeaked, half mumbled something. "I'm sorry. I couldn't quite understand that."

"I'm gonna break him."

"No you're not." Seth held Sawyer, sleeping tightly in his arms while coming over to us. "Babies might look tiny and fragile. But actually they're designed for new parents that haven't got a clue about what they're doing. Just hold your arms up like this." Annie was as nervous as anyone could ever be but did as she was told and Seth carefully placed Sawyer in her arms. "And besides. You thought of his name so it's only right… There, just hold your hand and arm like that to support his head…" Slowly Seth let go of his son and then took a step back. "It's as if you were born to do this."

Annie was frozen where she stood, it was as if she didn't dare to move in fear of hurting him. She barely even breathed but then she turned her head and looked down on Sawyer and finally she breathed out.

"Can I hold him now?"

After not long Sophie Rose was getting impatient- not strange for a six-year-old eager to meet her nephew. Annie nodded stiffly and Seth took Sawyer from her. Annie finally relaxed again and looked to the ground only for a second before she turned to Summer who was talking to her.

"Happy birthday Annie."

"So what did you think about your birthday present?" Seth asked, but then suddenly froze. "Did you guys give it to her yet?" Kirsten nodded at him and I saw he breathed out. "Well… then what do you think of it? Do you want to stay with us and be a part of our family?"

Annie suddenly seemed shy and almost hid behind me, I could feel her hand wrapped around the fabric of the back of my shirt and she didn't answer at all at first.

"I think…" I started at first. "…I think you're a bit overwhelmed. Are you?" I patted her shoulder and she nodded slightly. "Well, we'll have a whole lifetime to talk about it so no rush at all."

Nothing has ever felt as good saying as it felt when I said that we'd have a whole lifetime. And not as nervous. Then especially not while I was watching my little grandson.

Looking at them just made one feel like there was no more bad in this world. Didn't it?

When I patted Annie's shoulder again there came an answer at last. Then almost all in one word.

"The answer is yes. Yes, yes, yes. I want to stay with you. I want to be adopted. And you lot…" She suddenly flinched and silent. As if she'd suddenly said something bad. Then when she started talking again it wasn't as fast and quieter. "You guys are a lot better family than my parents…" She looked up at me. "You welcomed me into your home, just like that, you said I didn't have to eat so fast because you weren't going to take the food from me…"

The room had gone awfully silent while Annie kept talking.

"…I called Ryan Blondie. I was rude, I smelt. I tried to steal… But you weren't angry. You talked to me- you didn't hit me once. You took care of me when I was sick. Sophie Rose and Casey wanted me to show them over and over how I turn cartwheels so that they could learn. Sophie Rose threw my photo out the window because I accidentally shrunk her shirt in the laundry."

Annie silent and so did the whole room- so did the whole world while she looked around and Sophie Rose handed the baby over to her mum.

"And you guys don't get it. You've always had it. You just take it for granted… You're a real family and there hasn't ever been anyone there who wants to take it from you… So that's why the answer is yes. Because I want to stay with you and I don't want there to ever again be anyone to take away from me everything I love and care for."

The room fell silent once again. And everyone- including me was staring down towards the girl next to me. And Annie suddenly seemed uncomfortable and sunk down on one chair- possibly wanting to sink through the floor and one last mumble was heard.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I told you so much. I should have just told you yes."

I sunk down on the chair next to her and leaned closer to her so I could talk without everybody hearing what I said.

"What you said was beautiful. Now just wait a minute."

Neil shot forward and took Sawyer from Sophie Rose's arms when she was so concentrated on Annie she almost dropped him. Ryan sat on the other side of the room far gone into his own thoughts, Seth looked thoughtful where he sat and played with Summer's hair. Summer looked lovingly towards the baby in her father's arms.

"I'll go buy something to eat for us all."

Kirsten was visibly touched by what Annie had said. But not wanting to admit it or show how much I could see her feeling her pockets to check if she had everything. And before I could ask her anything she was out of the room.

And then slowly everything went back to normal, in just a few seconds. Sophie Rose was whispering to Ryan about something and he lifted her up on his lap to whisper something back, Neil sang falsely and Seth and Summer held each other's hands so tight it was as if to never let go.

"Can I change my name?"

The question surprised me when it came from next to me and Annie. And it took me a couple of seconds to understand what she had meant.

"If you mean that you want Cohen to be your last name when we adopt you then yes. If you want."

"Not just the last name. But that too please. Well, we both know Annie's a stupid name. My parents hated it too, but my dad wanted to make one name that was similar to his own- Anthony. And I mean, I'm so used to it I wouldn't be able to change it just like that. But I… kind of borrowed your laptop Sandy… I hope that was okay… And looked up whatever longer names Annie could be short for… There were quite a few."

"Of course that's okay." I smiled at her. "As you might know, Sophie Rose does it all the time. We might have to get her one for her birthday… anyway… Did you find one you liked?" She nodded. "Which one?"

"It's quite a unique one."

Annie bit her lip as if suddenly hesitating if she dared saying it.

"And I also want my mum's name- Grace as a middle name. But it's. Ehrm… It's Andromeda."

I could feel a slight smile forming on my lips. Letting a child deciding her own name could always and in all possible ways. Now, before I had answered out loud I laid my arm around her shoulders and chose my words carefully.

"Andromeda Grace Cohen…" I looked around the room., Seth had climbed up next to Summer on the bed and sat with his arm around her shoulders- both of them had fallen asleep. Ryan sat on the other side and Sophie Rose- who kept giggling at something he said sat on his lap. Neil stood in a corner with baby Sawyer in his arm and Kirsten just came back into the room with drinks and sandwiches for everyone. "That doesn't sound so bad does it?" She shook her head slightly. "We can sort that out. So that's the name for a fresh start. But that's the easy part. Are you ready for this whole crazy bunch to become your family? Do you really want it?"

This time it was Annie's turn to look around, see the plastic packages with sandwiches that Kirsten laid two on the bedside table and then handed out to anyone who weren't asleep or holding a baby, seeing and hearing Dr. Neil Roberts singing falsely to the baby, seeing the way Seth's curly hair was filled of dried sweat and pointed in every possible direction.

And every other detail that made us a family.

"I've never wanted anything more."

Annie silent and ran a hand over the fabric over her hoodie. White and with a print of a red and black butterfly and the text "free as a butterfly". I had been quite surprised when Annie showed us the things she owned and she had owned more of this shirt in different sizes than all of her other belongings.

" _Mum didn't have a lot of money." She had told me. "But she liked to spend it on me, and she liked butterflies. And then she found this hoodie and bought at least two off different sizes so I'll always have one. And I'll always have some. But I don't dare use them because they're going to get dirty and I'll rip holes in them."_

"Rather used and showing it than hidden away all clean. Or what was it that we said?" When I saw a stain on the sleeve I figured that must be it. "Or… Is there something else?..." I did realize that while Annie was fingering on a stain on the church. "That's okay. We can wash it off as soon as we get back."

I should have realized it wouldn't be so simple, maybe it wasn't about a shirt, maybe it wasn't. But Annie had loved her mother very much and with her not here.

"Are you thinking about your mum?" My voice took another tone when continuing. "You know, if we adopt you that won't mean she's any further away. She's always going to be your mum and nothing could ever change that."

"I know."

I did know Annie didn't believe in anything that came after death. Otherwise I would have maybe thought of more to say.

"Look! A butterfly."

Both I and Annie flinched when Sophie Rose shouted so it must have been heard on the moon. She was standing by the window looking and pointing at something and Annie quickly got up and ran over to her.

"Look. It looks just like the butterfly on your shirt."

Annie looked out the window on the one butterfly on the window seal. She then looked down on her shirt and back on the butterfly and nodded.

"It does."

The two girls watched out the window for a few, endless seconds passed by. I was standing behind my youngest daughter and the one butterfly on the window seal suddenly turned towards the window and in the way it was as if it was looking straight at Annie.

And then it lifted and flew away.

 **Sawyer's so little Annie barely dares to move holding him. Haha, that's based on something my sister always tells me about when she first met me. She did have three half siblings on her mum's side before then. But then I was born prematurely and she just sat with me in her arms and was absolutely still as she thought she'd break me if she moved.**

 **Random fact**

I was actually planning to take a break from writing until I have an own laptop again. But then I was planning for this chapter. (I've had it pretty much planned out since I first started the story, it was just deciding in what order everything would come and then write it) so the pause didn't go very well. And no, I do not have a life outside of fanfiction.

 **Well. That's it for this story. I hope you liked it. And may the Cohen's live happily ever after.**


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